Saturday, October 6, 2012

Motherhood, You Sneaky Bitch... :: 31 Days of Motherhood

Sometimes I feel like Motherhood is a pre-pubescent teenage girl with the craziest off-the-wall hormone rages known to man. Either that or she most definitely has some sort of personality disorder.

How so? It's simple really. One day she has you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, writing heartfelt posts about how significant and overwhelming she is, making readers cry left and right and the next? She has you showered, dressed in real clothes, ready to take on the world, or both kids to the pediatrician, when she suddenly covers you in vomit one minute and both the car seat and the baby in poop, the next. 

It's kind of like she's saying, "Oh, Mom. Don't get all celebratory just yet. You may have woken up before the goddman proverbial rooster crows, actually managed to cook a real breakfast rather than one that involves only a frozen waffle and toaster, not only showered and blow dried your hair but also squeezed both yourself and your muffin top into non-maternity jeans (I mean, why even bother), but don't go patting yourself on the back. I've got a little somethin' somethin' hidden up my sleeve just to show you who's boss. 

Yep. That's right. 

Basically Motherhood makes me her bitch on a daily basis. What happened to all those warm and fuzzies?


  1. HA! The things they don't tell you when your pregnant!!

  2. Frozen waffles isn't a real breakfast?!? I'm in trouble...haha

  3. Oh she def showed me who was boss;) the whole oh mommyhood I got this thinking flew right out the door when once again we are in the who needs more than an hour of sleep stage... What the eff;)

  4. LOL you totally have me cracking up over here. Motherhood is no joke.

  5. Lmao, this post is amazing. She does make us her bitch, doesn't she? Thanks for making me feel a bit more sane :)

  6. lol that sounds about right ;)


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