For what it's worth, Motherhood is just as I expected it to be. Messy, incredible, chaotic, fulfilling, frustrating, endearing. The greatest and hardest full-time "job" I've ever had. Days complete with the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows.
You see, I've learned a ton during my inaugural 22 months of motherhood and I'll be the first to admit that most days? I still don't have it all together. That aside, there are certainly some things I'll be doing differently the second time around.
Here are just a few of them:
1. M2 and I will not be "rooming in" together every single night while in the hospital. I have no doubts that I'll love this new baby immensely and want to spend every waking moment with him- but I'm no fool this time. My four day hospital stay will be the closest thing to a vacation that I'll get all year- I'm going to want to sleep while the sleeping is good.
2. I have no lofty goals for breastfeeding. I made it nearly four months with Carter and if it works this time around? Swell. If it doesn't, I'm not afraid of the F-word although between diapers for two AND formula? We may as well go broke. Scratch the dramatics. I may just have to give up my tri-weekly manicures.
3. M2 will be sleeping in his crib much earlier than his Big Brother. In fact, Carter didn't start sleeping in his crib until he was almost five months old. No dice, M2. You have three months and then we're shipping you down the hall to the expensive nursery I insisted on decorating again.
4. Babywear. Babywear. Babywear. In something other than the damn Houdini-Moby.
5. And lastly, interview babysitters and get out of the damn house more than three childless times in a year.
Mark my words, Loyals. Things will be different. Right? RIGHT?
This post has evolved over quite some time now. Initially, it started as an, "How Do You Even Have Sex At The End of The Day I'm So Tired?" post, dabbled in the "You Do Know Sex Can Sometimes Lead To Babies, Right?" post to today's carefully constructed, "All I Want To Do Is Have Sex and Can't For The Life Of Me Without It Looking Like A National Geographic Expose," post.
Before I continue, let's get something straight here. Unfortunately (for The Husband) I was never one of those pregnant women who immediately upon peeing on that little plastic stick wanted nothing more than to reenact every single raunchy porn video ever created.
Basically, I haven't wanted to touch sex with a 10-foot pole since I peed on that overpriced piece of plastic rendering those incredible words "Pregnant." Just the mere thought of having to engage in such an act would send me into The Fake Sleep and Snore that I've come to master oh, so well.
The question I would like to pose today is: Why is it that now that I'm fiending for it, it's like the goddamn Kama Sutra olympics have taken over our bedroom? We're talking muscles cramping, hips popping, numb hands, bellies bumping... Okay, you got me. It's really only my belly that's bumping anything.
But for the love of all things coital, can't a girl just get laid? Go ahead and laugh but no amount of pillows, creativity or flexibility could help me now.
Sidenote: As I re-read that last paragraph, I have to laugh out loud and wonder, "who the hell is this chick and where was she hiding the last nine months?" If in your head you made some brilliant Fifty-Shades "inner goddess" remark, don't fret, I almost wrote the same thing but I assure you, E.L. James used the phrase "inner goddess" enough for all of us for the next fifty years.
Wait. Did you all think I didn't have sex? I know this is oft a taboo subject, especially to write about on one's blog, sharing it with the entire world wide web, but somebody had to say it.
I know I can't be the only one in this awkward sex-crazed ship. I hate to break it to you, Loyals, but that's how we got ourselves a Carter.
Speaking of sex, although I may be fiending for it now, I cannot express the degree of my affinity for the Six Week Wait. You know what I'm talking about- those wonderful, blissful six weeks of fresh newborn-dom when you're basically walking around topless, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, with a baby hanging from your boob muttering obscenities to yourself, when, most importantly, sex is absolutely off limits.
...And after that wonderful mental picture, I wonder why The Husband ever wanted to sleep with me again, too. I ask myself this all the time.
Swimming and baths are also off limits which I'm a bit bitter about- but no sex for six weeks? Sign me up.
Loyals, let's just say that Six Week Wait is akin to the much coveted grade school hall pass.
The moral of today's story, Loyals? Get all of the "good sex" in now. Pre-Life-Exhaustion Pre-kids. Pre-pregnancy. Because nobody every tells you that when you want it the most, it's all downhill from there and may even land you a National Geographic contract.
Happy Wednesday!
I cannot believe I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of launching my own little business, little joys. photography. I would be lying if I said I'm not a little surprised that I actually made it one whole year. You see, I have a habit of jumping into things, full throttle, bursting at the seams with excitement, only to have said excitement and motivation fizzle after a short while.
For example, figure skating, horseback riding, gymnastics, piano lessons, voice lessons... just to name a few. God knows I drove my parents absolutely nutty with my childhood endeavors but I'm so thankful they had the patience to put up with my, let's call it, whimsical attention span.
Most days, I can hardly call what I do a "business." Why? Because it feels so much less like work to me and more like chasing after and indulging in a passion of mine. I've always loved photography and what started as an obsession with beautiful landscapes and antique buildings quickly evolved into something much more.
Capturing life's little joys.
Starting your own business is like taking a giant leap of faith. There's only so much you can do before you have to just sit back and rely on your talent to speak for itself. After my first few sessions with little joys. were wrapped up in pretty packages and tied with silk bows, I knew I would have to sit back, be patient and hope that this passion of mine would take off.
And I'm so thankful that it did. Over this past year I have met so many incredible families, many of whom started out as blog readers! Many of whom I now consider friends. Many of whom have blessed me so much with the opportunity to capture a moment in their lives.
Just this past weekend I had the honor of capturing one of my favorite families. Not only is the K Family a favorite of mine, but Colleen is one of my dearest friends whom I was so thankful to have met very early on in my nursing career. As a matter of fact, newborn pictures of her daughter Hailey was the first session I ever booked with little joys.
It was only right that Hailey's First Year session be the final session I shot before taking the summer off as a kind of "maternity leave."
I couldn't help but share some of my favorites as I wrap up this final session CD with a pretty little bow, knowing that the next time I sit down to edit pictures, they will likely be of our sweet brand new baby boy.
That last set of pictures? That's Hailey wearing her Mama's wedding dress and the same flower that Colleen wore tucked into her bun on the day she said "I Do." I mean, really. Does it get any better than this?
So, Loyals.. the moral of the story? If there has ever been something you wanted to do- even the slightest glimmer of a dream you've had.. go for it. Do it. It may be more work than you ever imagined and heck, you may be up all night editing, but capturing baby's first smile? Shooting a brand new family of four? Spending a day with a couple who will soon welcome their first baby into the world? Priceless. And so, so worth it.
It's no surprise that people say stupid shit. In fact, the stupid-shit-saying often runs rampant especially out of the mouths of strangers.
That being said, the stupid-shit-saying-from-out-of-the-mouths-of-strangers is absolutely off the charts when you throw a pregnancy into the mix.
One would think that men would be the greatest offenders of The Stupid Shit Saying when in the presence of a pregnant female, however, for once? I can't give the men all of the credit.
In my experience? Women are just as guilty of the Saying of Stupid Shit. Which, if I might add, absolutely confounds me since they at least have greater odds of experiencing pregnancy over the men folk.
I've compiled a short list of some of the Stupidest Shit people have said to me and what I now think are absolutely appropriate responses.
In response to confirming that you are, in fact, with child, "Was this planned?" or "Were you trying?"
"Well, actually.. My husband and I were trying to play an innocent game of Monopoly and then this happened."
"Are you sure there is only one in there?" or "I bet you're having twins!"
"No, I am not having twins and I'm absolutely certain, as is my Harvard-educated obstetrician and the countless incredible and technologically advanced ultrasounds I've had, that there is, indeed, only one baby in there."
Here's my favorite part: If applicable, you can always throw in a, "and by the looks of it, I would say you're what.. in your second trimester already?" when in reality, you're really only drawing attention to the inner tube-style gut hanging out above their waistband.
"Goodness! When my sister's husband's late brother's uncle's twice removed daughter was pregnant, she wasn't allowed to have caffeine. Are you sure you shouldn't be ordering a decaf?"
"This baby should consider himself lucky that I've given up the crack pipe during my pregnancy. I don't think a little caffeine is going to hurt him."
"Don't worry. As soon as you have that baby, you'll get that waistline back in no time!"
"I hope you're not speaking from personal experience. If so, you got any other tricks up your sleeve? That juicy bit of advice certainly didn't work out in your favor..."
"By the looks of it, I'd say you're ready to have that baby any day now!"
"By the looks of it, I'd say you're cruising for a nice, swift kick to the kidney!"
"You sure are hungry. They aren't kidding when they say you're eating for two!"
"Wait, who said anything about eating for two? Who's pregnant?"
Now, don't get me wrong. Replies such as this don't come easy. It took me one and a half pregnancies to find the cajones needed to reply back with any of the above responses. The good news? No one will hit a pregnant lady, so feel free to retort back with the smartest, snarkiest of replies.
And if all else fails? A throat punch will suffice.
It's always safe to assume that any lapse in my blogging is directly related to my stays in New Jersey.
In fact, it should be documented that this was the first trip to New Jersey that I've made this year where I haven't brought along my computer and my camera.
Yes, at times it felt as if I was missing a limb, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't just the tiniest bit sweet to "unplug" from "work" for a bit.
That being said, not posting on a Monday is akin to going to bed without brushing my teeth. In other words, downright blasphemy. I hate not posting on a Monday and truth be told, I had a wonderful, pimp-tastic post written up showcasing two of my favorite sponsors this month and not only did Blogger refuse to post it at the designated time, it also decided to eat the scheduled draft.
If you're in the market for darling clippies, hair accessories and bows, you'll definitely want to visit Polkadot Posies. April makes some of the sweetest hair clips I've ever seen and with a delicious array of seasonal and holiday-themed clips, there are lots to choose from!
If you're a sucker for sweet, quality, custom and affordable kid's clothes, be sure to follow The Little Crane on Facebook. My wonderful and amazing virtual mom-friends over there have recently started adding "Buy It Now" albums chock full of adorable summer clothes for both girls and boys and what a steal!
That wasn't too painful, was it?
In other news, I'm completely over being pregnant. I've reached That Point where I'm grumpy approximately 87% of the day and 100% of the time it feels as if my pelvis will immediately become unhinged from the rest of my body.
A very kind woman downright insisted that I was birthing twins the other day as I walked around the grocer with both C and my Dad. Because the 6 ultrasounds that I've had, clearly depicting a singleton pregnancy, mean absolutely nothing. And yes, she even used the word "huge."
I've also reached That Point in pregnancy where I'll tell you just exactly how I'm feeling so if you insist that I'm expecting twins and you appear to be expecting triplets (although even I, a complete stranger, know you're not expecting?) I'm going to ask, "and how far along are you?"
Touche.
