I'll Change Your Tire, For a Box of Samoas?

I don't think I would necessarily go as far as to say that I am "accident prone," however, I do manage to find myself in a lot of accidental... situations. Let's take last Friday for instance.


Not only was it a crazy day at the clinic, and the realtor, who is trying to sell the house we're currently renting right out from beneath us, calling me every thirty seconds to set up fifteen showing appointments for the same godforsaken Saturday (good luck sellin' this place, sistah! the basement floods everytime it drizzles!) but on my way home from work, an ancient Toyota Corolla decides to attempt to run me off the road, causing me to drive into and over a curb, resulting in majorly scratched up rims and a blown out tire. We're talking like, a fist sized hunk of rubber missing out of that baby!


Ridiculously proud of myself, I pull off the road into the nearest parking lot and dial the number for Lexus Roadside Assistance. Can you believe it? I didn't even call my Dad or my husband first! I know, I was pretty shocked too.


I explain the situation to AAA, they tell me someone will be to my rescue within the hour (an hour? Seriously? I have DVR'd shows to catch up on! And a husband who is on his way home from Charlotte tonight!) and so I hunker down in the random parking lot, locking my doors and hoping nobody can smell my fear of being alone, stranded, in a random parking lot on a Friday night with a car that is certainly un-driveable.


Approximately forty-five minutes later, my knight in shining (sweatsuit) arrives. He's young, maybe a few years older than me, driving a ginormous pimped out tow truck, and weighing approximately 300 pounds. (You'll soon understand why this last fact is so noteworthy).


He's all a' tinkering in the back of my SUV, while I'm dilly-dallying on the phone and before I know it, the tire has been changed and I'm good to go. While this was all taking place, I did place a phone call to my Dad to make sure I was supposed to tip this guy. How is a girl supposed to know these things? Dad says, "yeah, AP, you should tip him a few dollars. I usually give him five or ten."


I quickly rummage through my car and find six dollars and my brand new box of Samoas. That's right. You heard me. Girl Scout cookies. I sheepishly turn to the kid, offering up my six dollars and the Samoas and say, "I'm really sorry, but this is all I have. I really do appreciate you helping me out though!"


Let's just say he grabbed that six bucks and the box of cookies so fast I didn't know what happened. As he climbs into his truck, he yells, "Thanks lady! This is the best tip I've ever gotten from somebody!"


Samoas. I can't believe he took my Samoas!! But hey, it just goes to show ya.. you never know what you can do with a box of Girl Scout cookies!!

Hello, Baby M! Meet the Blogworld.

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

Is that not the cutest little button nose you've ever seen?

Whew. If that wasn't the hardest secret to keep for nine whole weeks! Hubs and I are absolutely over the moon excited and so happy to be sharing the news with everyone! Not to mention, I can't believe that I'm sharing my due date/due week with a few of my favorite bloggers! It's been so wonderful to have been following along with these women on their journeys to motherhood but at the same time, so frustrating for me because I hadn't quite found the confidence to post about our new addition! Well friends, the confidence has been found.

And this may or may not be turning into one of those blogs. You know the kind. Where I post pictures of my uterus. And gush over every single second of my pregnancy. Don't worry. I'll be straight with you all. I'm honest like that. It's not all lambs and lillies. It's been tough! And pregnancy is NOT always pretty. In fact, I'm waiting for that part of it. And even though this might turn into one of those blogs, I'm going to love every single minute of it.

Don't worry. There will be plenty of Sheepie pictures and posts. And posts about the hilarious things my husband says. And when I find the energy to shop again, I'll throw pictures of my loot up here too. Same as always. But there will be some baby thrown in there. I'm just warning you.

Did I mention that Hubs and I may or may not have bought a house along the way? I do believe we have some serious catching up to do, blogworld. It's been way too long.

Ok. Before I go, let's not kid ourselves. What would a baby post be without the infamous weekly survey?

12 weeks, 3 days

Total Weight Gained/Loss? Up 3.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet. Mostly because I live in scrubs and black yoga pants. But it does look like I ate a few too many Dunkin Donuts.

Sleep? All the time. I don't think I've seen 9:30pm for months. No joke. And I've been curling up in the infusion chairs at work during my lunch break and snoozing away my lunch hour since December.

Best Moment of the Week? Hearing Baby M's heartbeat for the second time, 155 beats per minute!

Movement? Only seen on ultrasound. Which is especially weird when Baby M is bouncing all over the place in there and I can't feel a single thing.

Food Craving? NumNumNum. Milkshakes, please.

Food aversions: Don't even talk to me about red meat. Just the thought... Woof.

Morning sickness? I prefer to call it Functional Nausea. Okay, so I gag a little from time to time, but no real pukage. Just nausea. All day.

Gender? We cannot wait to find out!!

Labor Signs? No thank you.

Belly Button? I'm starting with an outtie. This is going to get interesting.

What I miss? Chardonnay. Margaritas. Sigh.

What I'm looking forward to: Every day! Just knowing that we've created another life just absolutely blows my mind. I don't typically get too "deep" on this blog and I personally would like to keep it that way- but holy smokes. I'm growing a human being. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't deny yourself a craving here and there. Go with the flow.

Milestones: Getting to see our baby grow from 8 weeks, to 10 weeks to 12 weeks. Hearing the heartbeat and steadily and healthily approaching the second trimester.

So there you have it. We've had a lot going on these past few months. A new baby on the way and after months of searching, a new house. Well, almost. You know, pending home inspection and all those other pesky things that make this already difficult process even more difficult, drawn out and frustrating! Needless to say, we've been quite busy around these parts! But not nearly as busy as we will be the next few months- what with moving, decorating a new home and preparing for the arrival of Baby M the first week of August!

So that blog hiatus I was talking about? Consider it over.

Damn You, Thin Mints. And Your Tagalong Counterparts.

First off, I can't believe I am writing a second post about cookies. You may as well paint me blue and call me the Cookie Monster. (Lame, I know. Laugh anyway). But I am. Another post about cookies.

I should be writing to you from a diabetic Thin Mint-induced coma, although by now I believe my pancreas has kicked in full-swing and is releasing buffalo amounts of insulin to combat my sugar overdose. It's that time of year again.

Girl Scout cookies.

Approximately seven cookies for twenty dollars. Okay, fine. That's not true. It's more like fifteen cookies for four dollars. But you catch my drift. Overpriced wafers of scrum-diddly-umtious goodness. All for me. With a side of, "Aww, I just helped some little girl add another badge to that hideous sash (or vest) she's forced to wear to all those meetings!" Been there. Done that.

No, a little girl with puppy dog eyes did not come a' knockin on my door to sell her wares, but rather, one of the Nurse Practitioners that I work with piled fifty-five boxes sky high in her office which is literally thirty steps from the infusion bay where I work. Cruel and unusual punishment.

I could practically smell the Tagalong's peanut buttery centers. I could hear the Thin Mints calling my name. The Samoas. Oh, the Samoas! Every second of every day.

From the foot traffic that this particular NP's office had seen, one would think she was selling cocaine.

Hubs doesn't care much for Girl Scout cookies. But I thought he might appreciate an extra box of Tagalongs. And a box of Thin Mints. Oh. And a box of Samoas, too. Unfortunately for him though, the Tagalongs barely survived the car ride home. Le sigh.

Hopefully he doesn't check the serving size portion on the back of the box. Teehee :)

Marital Musings; Give Me My Oreos and No One Will Get Hurt!

Disclaimer: I'm only slightly ashamed of my behavior last Friday night.

While on the couch catching up on our DVR:

Hubs: I'm going to get some tea. You want anything?

AP: Could you bring me some oreos and a glass of milk?

Hubs: Sure. Be right back.

[I go upstairs to put my jammies on and come back downstairs to find Hubs holding only four oreos and a glass of milk.]

Hubs: Did you know that there's only two oreos in a serving?

AP: [truly angered by Hubs' meaningless and innocent insinuation that I completely took in the wrong fashion]

AP: What the f**k? (Yes, I did curse. I said I was shamed) Are you serious? Are you trying to ration my oreo intake?

Hubs: Uh, no? You could always go back and get more.

AP: I always eat more than four oreos!

Hubs: Are you seriously upset? You didn't even say "thank you!" This was all I could fit in my hand, Ashley Paige! Just go get some more when you finish these!

AP: I don't even want them anymore. [Even though I proceeded to sit on the couch in silence and dunk and eat my four oreos].

For the record, Hubs and I have reconciled. I apologized for my rash and rather ridiculous and inappropriate behavior and blamed the entire incidence on horomones. We are still madly in love regardless of my temper tantrum over being handed only four oreos and not the twenty seven I had intended on eating. Stay tuned for additional posts about our weekend later today and of course, I haven't forgetten about the surprise post I had promised! It's in the works!

Today's Lunch. Don't Judge Me!

Coming to you live from an empty chemo infusion chair back in the infusion bay at work. My feet are up, Everybody Loves Raymond is on TV and I'm ready to enjoy my large fry and large chocolate milkshake. Granted, I could name a million places that mix up a better milkshake than Micky D's, but a girl's gotta go with what's available at the moment.

You know your blogging skills have been more than slacking lately when your own father tells you, "You know, Ash, your blog has been running pretty thin these days!" So, Dad, Nanny and all of my bloggy friends out there, I promise to be back and writing with a vengeance soon.

Big things are happening around these parts.. Stay tuned for a surprise post sometime this weekend! Happy Wednesday!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Taken this morning on my way to work..

Sometimes I think that a temperature this frosty without snowfall is just a plain ol' waste of cold.

Don't get me wrong, I hate snow and could without a doubt get through the rest of winter without any more of that wintery white powder. Sure, it's pretty but it quickly turns brown and gross and really just gets in the way of my day. When you have a job that is a lot like the post office (you must be there come hell or high water, rain, sleet, snow, wind.. yadda yadda yadda) you quickly learn to loathe the snow.

So Spring? If you could make an early appearance? That would be fabulous.

PS. I promise to be back and regularly blogging soon! I've missed you all so much!

The Secret Life, 80's Actor Resurrection?

Okay, did anyone else notice Blossom as Dr. Bink on TSL last night? Um, maybe I should start by asking if any of you out there even watch this show? Jeepers. The only show that I am more ashamed of watching than this is MTV's Jersey Shore. Don't judge! Molly Ringwald looked fab last night with her new bangs and sleek hairstyle- but Blossom? Seriously? Seriously. Don't worry, I DVR'd The Bachelor and plan on playing catch up after work tonight!

Happy New Year, Sheepie!

Hubs and I happily rang in the New Year quietly this year. After venturing out for some fabulous drunken mussels and pomme frites at a local bar, we caught an evening showing of Sherlock Holmes; a great movie which has done nothing but further solidify my girl crush on Rachel McAdams.

After the movie, we made it home just in time to curl up with Sheepie on the couch and watch all those crazy idiots freeze their hineys off in Times Square. Truth be told, I fell asleep before the infamous ball drop. However, I made sure not to miss Britney's kickass performance in front of the Bellagio. Girl, you are amazing. Seriously. Your performance actually made me think that you've come full circle, having graudated from Mega Hot Mess to some sort of normalcy. Shaved head? Meltdown? Driving with your baby on your lap? What? Not that Britney. You go, girl.

I know I've been lacking in the Sheepie picture department lately, so without further ado, here he is in all his Christmas Sheepie glory. I promise I'll be back to my regularly scheduled blogging soon!

h a p p y n e w y e a r !