Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Doghouse.

One would think that the doghouse is an appropriate place for Sullivan. We're not talking, however, about the cute doghouse decorated with scalloped trim and outfitted with Milkbones and down pillows. We're talking about the other doghouse. Where little bad dogs go. For chewing on daddy's favorite boat shoes.

note the missing shoelace pieces.

You might remember this post, the one about my husband and his love affair with boat shoes. I may not have mentioned that at the hint of warm weather, these shoes manage to undoubtedly find their way out of hiding every. single. year. I wouldn't mind their constant resurfacing if they were brand new and the soles hadn't yellowed. "But that's what gives them flavor, " according to Hubs.

Poor Hubs. There are few things in life that he loves almost as much as he loves me and his boat shoes would surely be at the top of that list.

We're so very sorry Hubs. Sully's been a very bad boy.
but momma's secretly ecstatic that she can finally go out and buy you a new pair of Sperry's!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Wordless Wednesday, Worded!

I do try to keep my Wordless Wednesday posts.. wordless.. but sometimes it's just too difficult! So many of you wondered about the photos from today's earlier post, I've decided to let you in on a little more about them!

These photos were taken last September on a walk through the restored historic town of Colonial Williamsburg. More precisely, on the grounds of the George Wythe House. Who's George? Well, funny you should ask! Geroge is most notable for being the first Virginian to sign the Declaration of Independence as well as a renowed leader of the patriot movement.

Being the huge history-geek that I am, I swoon over historic reenactments and authentically restored colonial buildings. My favorites? The Hospital and the Apothecary, of course. (Duh!) There's just something so romantic and enlightening about being given the chance to re-live the Revolutionary period. I know, I'm sure you're thinking, "Ohmygoodness, what a loser!" But to go back in time and retrace America's early footsteps is just fascinating to me!

According to, "the house also served as General George Washington's headquarters just before the British siege of Yorktown, and French General Rochambeau made the home his headquarters after victory at Yorktown. In 1776, the house accommodated Virginia General Assembly delegate Thomas Jefferson and his family."

Okay. C'mon, blogfriends. How freakin' cool is that?!!

While walking the grounds of the Wythe House, Hubs and I stumbled upon a beautiful garden tucked away on the back of the property. It is there that we found the beautiful arched trellis covered in Kingsblood blossoms.

If you happen to have the chance to go.. do! I promise, you won't be disappointed. And for those of you who would much rather prefer to be immersed in a little more... er, modernity (yes, truly a word!), there are countless 21st century boutiques and outlets within miles of the historic downtown.

Wordless Wednesday.

c o l o n i a l w i l l i a m s b u r g

v i r g i n i a s e p t e m b e r 2 o o 8

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So Long Shaggy Dog... Hello Buzz Butt.

Once the 90 degree weather settled in,
we knew it was time for a buzzcut.
When you refused to leave the air conditioned bedroom (please don't remind Hubs that I suckered him into renting a house without central air) we knew it was time to call the groomer.
Sorry, Sully. You might look a little bit like a poodle, but we still love you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Chef Boy-Are-You-Lazy.

Yes. You are looking at my lunch.
Not only for today, but for the next three days.
Don't judge me.
And no, it will not always be "beef ravioli."
As a matter of fact, I ate "beefaroni" today.
And no, I was never allowed to have these growing up.
I'm making up for lost time.
Stay tuned for weekend updates, derby hat picks and a very late Flashback Friday.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

If I Could Only Remember... The Latte Factor.

Ever heard of the "Latte Factor?"

A term coined by David Bach, money guru and author of "Smart Couples Finish Rich," the "latte factor" refers to the amount of money that many people continually spend on small purchases (like a latte) that adds up to a ridiculously large amount of money over one's lifetime.
Not much of an avid fiction reader like myself, "Smart Couples Finish Rich" is one of Hubs' favorite books. Yes, indeed, a far cry from my current favorite, "Handle With Care" by Jodi Piccoult. But hey, to each their own, right?

In any case, when Hubs let me in on a little secret/flat out told me the hundreds of dollars I could save if I skimped on my daily morning $4 latte, I seriously gave thought to curtailing my caffeinated habit and saving the money for.. well.. other important addictions. Like shoes. And a little Yurman. And a new wardrobe. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

Well, let's say it was a LOT easier said than done. I tried switching to chai tea. I tried using our Krups espresso machine to make my own mocha lattes at home (dis-as-ter!). I even tried going cold turkey. Who was I kidding?

I knew I was going to have to ease myself into cutting back on the coffee. Therefore, I told myself "Lattes on Friday, ONLY!" And it worked.

When I remembered to bring my travel coffee mug with me in the car.

Which happens about 40% of the time.

Hi, My name is Ashley Paige. I am addicted to mocha lattes and I'm a forgetful spaz.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Family. Picture. Love.

I'm a very lucky girl.
Not only has marriage blessed me with a wonderful, loving, passionate, and patient husband but it has also blessed me with two awesome brothers-in-law. And with them, two fabulous fellow North Jersey girlfriends.
Don't even get me started about how three couldn't-get-more-Maryland-if-they-tried boys fell in love with three couldn't-get-more-North-Jersey-if-they-tried girls. Wait, who am I kidding? We North Jersey girls are just plain ol' awesome! No wonder these boys love us so much! What's even crazier is that each of us girls comes from a town located within ten to fifteen minutes of each other. Two of us even went to the same all-girls high school! Very early on we admitted to each other that we should have been friends loooong before tbe M boys came into our lives!
This past weekend was spent with two of my favorite "brothers" (seriously, they're so awesome that I'm not even angry in the least that I didn't get a sister out of the whole marriage deal, considering I already have one awesome brother of my own) breaking in their newly purchased home. Music playing in the background, beer pong tournaments in the newly constructed garage (don't worry they thought about rolling out extra vinyl flooring to protect the floor) and a pick-up game of speed quarters taking over the brand new island in the kitchen.
We couldn't have had more fun if we tried.
Maryland, April 2009

Joe and Krista, Hubs and I, B and Pam
(you might recognize this blogging lady as Pam from over at A Girl, Inspired)
and just to show that some things never change...
Fenwick Island, DE
Summer of 2008
obviously, our signature *group photo* pose
(check out those blonde locks! they are surely a thing of the past, as evidenced by the previous photo!)
Happy Wednesday!

Monday, April 20, 2009

If April Showers Bring May Flowers...

Dear Earth's Atmosphere,

Please immediately cease doing whatever it is that you are doing that is causing so much godforsaken rain. It's almost safe to say that of the 20 days we've seen in April so far, it's rained for 18 of them. And to think, Hubs was worried about me.. ME! forgetting to water all of the brand new flowers, thus bringing about their untimely death. Let's not even talk about how you've managed to drown $106.60 worth of pansies and petunias. You're lucky the strawberries are thriving. Should I even bring up the basement? And how after the first seven consecutive days of solid precipitation, you left the M household with an inch and a half of water surrounding the washer and dryer? Good thing our Landlord left us with that portable electric sump pump hooked up (that, FYI, doesn't work so well). The next time you decide to throw down upon us a deluge of rain, please remind me to tell him, OK? If you continue this ridiculous nonsense, I will be forced to purchase these:

And we both know that Hubs will not be happy. Especially since I will then need to purchase this to accompany me on dog walks:

So please, I'm open for negotiation. Don't listen to Sullivan. I know he begs and pleads with you for weather like this, but that's only because he's an 8 month old sheepdog and doesn't know any better. He eats toilet paper for goodness sakes! I'll do almost anything if you please make it stop raining!


Ashley Paige

Friday, April 17, 2009

Flashback Friday, Volume 5

I love writing these posts for three reasons.

1) I spend hours laughing out loud at my desk while taking a walk down memory lane, remembering some of my favorite childhood things.

2) I get such a kick out of your comments as you share your own childhood memories and faves with me! (I'm glad I'm not the only crazy kid who loved Punky Brewster, Pop Rocks and The Sylvanian Families!)

3) Whenever it's time to sit down and write these posts, I know the weekend is right around the corner! And it does't get much better than that!

Here's this week's edition of Flashback Friday!

There's so much to say about this computer game, I don't even know where to start!

I can't decide if I had more fun shopping for supplies at the General Store before even setting foot on the Orgeon Trail or deciding whether or not to suck it up and "forge the river!" (Let's be honest, your oxen were either going to drown or fall ill anway!) Who remembers talking to the Indians? Hunting for bear? (As they were the slowest moving targets and the easiest to hit!) Or perhaps, pausing for a moment to pay your respects at a trailside funeral for your family member that died of a snakebite? Or dysentery? Or typhoid fever? I can't even tell you how excited I'm getting just typing this post- I want to go home and immediately download a free version of this game! Weird? Probably. Awesome? Definitely.

Jelly shoes. *Sigh*
I was never allowed to own a pair of these growing up. Can you tell that it has scarred me for life? All of my friends had them and I can remember just dying on the inside to try them on and run around in them! I think my mother thought I was going to hurt myself if I wore them. She was probably right.

How could I continue posting Flashback Fridays without including one of these fashionable accessories? T-shirt clips were a must-have in the 80's! Rhinestone-studded, puffy-painted, and scads of bright neon colors.. Could you even imagine wearing them these days?

Love, love loved these bracelets. As per Wikipedia, "A slap bracelet (or snap bracelet) is a bracelet consisting of layered, flexible stainless steel bistable bands sealed within a fabric cover. The bracelet can be straightened out, creating tension within the springy metal bands. The straightened bracelet is then slapped against the wearer's forearm, causing the bands to spring back into a curve that wraps around the wrist, securing the bracelet to the wearer." These were the original slap bracelets circa the late 1980's. After these bracelets were banned from schools for "improper use," companies created a less dangerous prototype with plastic bands.

If you were to open the top right-hand drawer of the desk that sits in my childhood bedroom back home in New Jersey, you would find my absolute favorite slap bracelet. A black fabric band with a crazy zig-zag pattern stitched in neon green and day-glo orange. I can totally remember trading these bracelets with my friends!

Popples. What more do I even have to say? Little stuffed animals that had a pouch on their back that you could invert so that they were then inside the pouch! Genius!

and last but not least, one of my all-time favorite TV shows:

Doozer sticks, anyone? Maybe a tasty radish? How much did I love watching Gobo, Red and Mokey carry on with their silly, carefree antics? Um, SO MUCH! Did you have a favorite Fraggle?

"Dance your cares away, Worry's for another day. Let the music play, Down at Fraggle Rock."

Happy Friday!! Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Zoom..Zoom.. Zoom?

Come late May, I will be saying goodbye to the first "big girl" car that I purchased with my own big-girl money. I'm sorry, did I say purchase? I meant lease. During the past three years, I've learned that leasing works well for me. Yes, it might be a gross waste of money, however, coming from the girl who tires of brand new, shiny objects both quickly and easily, leasing meant that by the time I became bored, it would be time for something new!
And what perfect timing it is...

Although I've racked up miles upon miles of memories with my little Mazda 3, I'm more than ready for something with a few more.. cylinders, for starters! Since being graced with a driver's license at the ripe age of 17, I've only driven around in 4 cylinder cars. Now, I'm no speedracer, a la Mario Andretti, (although my husband may disagree) but a girl's gotta have a little pick-up now and then and it's gotta happen before reaching 40mph!
So.. what's next?

My little heart desires this.. as I think this would be the perfect little "minivan" to cart Sullivan around in. You know, especially since I refuse to drive a minivan, EVER and this is the next best thing. Don't you think I could definitely play the role of "soccer mom" to a "T" driving around in this beauty!

But alas, since Hubs and I don't have $80 thou just lying around screaming, "Please use me for a Range Rover" I've had to switch gears and look for something a bit more... reasonable. Realistic. Which leads me to what will hopefully be the newest addition to the "M" family:

The Acura MDX. As you can see, we're clearly looking for an SUV-type vehicle and because my husband swears by Acura, as it's been the only make of car he's ever driven, I was left with few choices. And new? Never again. Certified Pre-Owned is more like it. Almost new and still under warranty.

I have yet to test drive the MDX and will likely do so over the course of the next few weeks. And no, I'm not limiting myself just yet. I will also likely test drive the Mazda CX-7, the BMW x5 and if Hubs allows, the Land Rover LR3, just so that I have something to compare the MDX to. I have to say.. I'm a little excited! (Not so much to haggle with the salesmen at the dealership, but that's what I have Hubs for! he's a great haggle-r!)

So what do YOU drive? Any experience with any of the cars the M household is interested in? I would LOVE to hear feedback!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sex.. in a Travel Coffee Mug.

Isn't that the saying..

"That's so good, it's like sex on a stick?"

I've never particularly understood that. For those of you who are with me on this one, Urban Dictionary defines the phrase as, "originally coined by a great man, it is used to define something exceptionally great, or something that is fantastic beyond belief." That being said, this little find, my friends, is so good, it's like sex in a travel coffee mug (which, in my book, is way better than sex on a stick!)

I am a Chai-a-holic. Not just any Chai. Chai lattes. Specifically Chai lattes from Starbucks. What? You fail to see the problem here? Daily Chai lattes tend to add up and are putting a serious dent in my wifely stipend. Therefore, I have been forced to look into cheaper, but similarly delicious, alternatives.

Having spent this past weekend with little to no energy, sick and sulking around the house, I had little motivation to prepare meals. Here's where Momma M saved the day. In town for the night chauffering my little bro around for his soccer tourny, she knew that stocking the house with a few of my favorite foods would be the perfect little pick-me-up! Lo and behold, she brought home TAZO Chai Tea Concentrate. Equal parts of this delicious-ness and milk, three minutes in the microwave and wha-la! Yum-diddly-scrumptious Chai Tea Latte. For about a third of the weekly cost of my overpriced Starbucks counterpart. No, seriously. This stuff is amazing. Who knew it even existed?! Certainly not moi!

Sorry S'bucks. Looks like you've been replaced.

Husband Throwback a la Must-See Photo?

Thankfully, I don't think Hubs reads my blog on a daily basis, or does he? If so, he might kill me for posting this picture.

Sidebar: Hubs, I love you SO much and you are the best husband in the entire universe!

This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of my husband and one of his younger brothers, B. As you can tell, they were quite stylin' back in the 80's with their matching corduroy pants and boat shoes. This picture hangs on the corkboard right next to the desk in our office and every time I look at it, I can't help but bust out a serious case of the chuckles.

This picture epitomizes my husband. He's always smiling, always laughing and frankly, thinks corduroy pants and boat shoes can we worn all year round.

Not much has changed, huh?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Completely Gratuitous Doggie Picture Post

... of the bad boy who slurped down half a roll of Charmin, as if it were spaghetti, while I was sitting here uploading pictures. Why did I think I could take my eyes off of him?

mom likes to call this hairstyle my "Jersey blowout"

yeah, that's right. i eated the toilet paper. and it was good, too.

just hanging out with my dragon buddy here.

you tryin' to come up here? i says no, lady.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Honey Lemon with a Little Patchouli?

In the middle of the homily at Easter Mass while the family seated behind us with four little boys under the age of 5 was attempting to manage a meltdown, by said boys all under the age of five, Hubs turns to me (as I'm scarfing down Organic Honey Bee throat lozenges like it's going out of style) and whispers:

"You smell like the vitamin aisle at Whole Foods. The only thing missing is a little Patchouli."


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Cadbury Eggs? How about some DayQuil and a Sudafed?

Yep. You read me correctly. Instead of an Easter basket filled with malted milk chocolate eggs, peanut M&M's, marshmallow peeps and enough Cadbury eggs to choke the Easter Bunny himself, my momma should've given me an Easter basket filled with the contents of the Cold Remedy aisle at the local CVS.

Our much anticipated weekend plans that included a Friday night Happy Hour in Baltimore, Doggie Playdate on Saturday and what I'm sure would've been a wonderful Easter celebration complete with delicious food and family on Sunday, were quashed when this blogging lady woke up with "the Cold."

Why the capital letters? Because this is the Cold of all colds. I'm talking swollen lymphnodes, sore throat, sinus aches and pains, congestion that's backed up into my brain and more snot than I ever thought a human could produce. Lovely, right?

Well Mr. Cold, I hate you. I hate you for making me feel like my head doesn't even belong to the rest of my body. I hate you for ruining my weekend and I hate you for spoiling one fierce outfit that I planned to wear to Happy Hour on Friday night that included these newly purchased beauties by Michael Kors:

Don't even get me started on my brand new Easter dress. I'm sure it will look fantastic on a girl who doesn't even have the energy to blowdry her own hair. At least the pink tone of my overused-kleenex-chapped-nose will match the tea rose color of my Easter ensemble. (And for the record, I decided to pair it with the Light Citron cardigan!) Maybe that will detract from the sickly, sullen look I've got going on.

Yes folks, if you happen to be at 9:30am Mass tomorrow and hear someone with a horrible case of the sniffles that sounds a lot like Jabba the Hutt? You found me.

Happy Easter! Now... where did I put that Airborne?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Flashback Friday! On a Thursday...

Since today, Thursday, is technically my Friday for the week, I figured I'd share this week's Flashback Friday with everyone just a little bit early. Not to mention that with Hub's and my crazy/busy Easter plans on the horizon, there won't be much blogging done by the I Love You More Than Carrots clan over the next few days.

(Don't fret, it's a four day weekend for this blogging lady so I'll be sure to catch you all up come Monday morning!)

So, Do you Remember...

Gak? I loved this stuff. I also loved it's kissing cousin Floam. For some reason, I remember this stuff being ridiculously expensive- which, I'm pretty sure it wasn't. It was just that after I got it stuck to the ceiling in my bathroom, my parents refused to buy it for me thus forcing me to purchase it with my much-cherished allowance. Yes, you read that correctly. I got it stuck to the bathroom ceiling. How? By throwing it up into the air to see if I could get it stuck to the ceiling, of course! What a silly question!

Russ Troll dolls. Every. single. time. I walked past a Hallmark store, I was drawn in by this unexplainable force that insisted I buy these dolls by the handful. I even remember my favorites- the Painter troll, the Skateboarding Troll (complete with hot pink plastic skateboard) and the Birthday Troll. I loathed the Troll dolls that were sold sans clothes and accessories (go figure!), but admit to having at least one or two "nakie" ones with gemstones in their belly! Do you remember that it was good luck to rub their hair? I do!

I loved me some banana clips! Of course I never owned any normal colors. Mine were of the neon variety as shown above! As if 80's hair could get any crazier, somebody had to go and invent these lovely babies that allowed you pull your hair back and style it much akin to a horse's mane. Fab-u-lous!

*Sigh* Won't you be my neighbor? Let's take the trolley on over to the Land of Make-Believe. This guy was the real deal. Did you know that one of Mr. Rogers' cardigan sweaters is on display at the Smithsonian? I loved accompanying him on tours of different factories and seeing how things were made. I distinctly recall the Crayon Factory episode and how each puppet in the Land of Make-Believe carried with him/her a tiny little crayon. Touching on subjects that were often frowned upon in the world of children's programming, death, divorce and war amongst many others, Mr. Roger's was an icon.

And for the Flashback Bookworms after my own heart, here's a few of my FAVORITE childhood reads:

Who else cried a little when Corduroy was lost in the big, scary mall?

In honor of Easter, one of the greatest childhood books ever written. For those of you who've shared in this childhood treasure, you know that it's much like Disney/Pixar's movie Toy Story, only 100x better. Here's one of the greatest life lessons one could ever learn, written beautifully by author Margery Williams:

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

And quite possibly one of my MOST FAVORITEST of FAVORITES:

Deep in my soul, I believed I was Ramona Geraldine Quimby.

Happy Thursday, Happy Weekend, Happy Easter!

Rice Cakes.. Num Num Num.

So, I may or may not have eaten an entire sleeve of these delightful breakfast snacks on my way into work this morning. How many are in a sleeve, dare you ask? Maybe 6. Maybe 7. I may have lost count, what with all the crunching and crumb-making and whatnot. I don't even love rice cakes that much. Weird.

But scrumptious. And completely lacking all necessary healthfulness, being that they're coated in maple and brown sugar-goodness. And I ate 6 (or 7) of them.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Marital Musings.

I know I've mentioned in previous posts that my Hubs is plain ol' hilarious. While driving into work this morning, I thought of a catchy title to name this post (as well as future posts) regarding the funny/inappropriate things that come out of my husband's mouth. I'm going to need to start carrying around a little notepad with me so that I can jot them down fresh from the lips of the Funny Man himself!

Last Saturday, Hubs and I spent a small fortune in Home Depot on silly little pretty things like pansies, petunias, marigolds, strawberries and a hodge-podge of flowers in a pretty hanging basket.

Hubs: Why are we buying all of these flowers?
AP: We need to make the deck look pretty! Plus, we have all of those empty potters to fill.
Hubs: That doesn't mean we have to fill them all at once.
AP: I'll let you pick out whatever pansies you want.
Hubs: You are a pansy. We'd better not spend a hundred bucks on flowers.

While being run up at the register.. six flats of flowers later..

Cashier: Ok, that'll be $106.60.
AP: doesn't utter a peep and can sense the steam eminating from Hubs' ears.
Hubs: Remember last year when you killed all of the flowers and I had to keep bringing them back to life?
AP: I didn't kill them intentionally!
Hubs: You forgot to water them for an entire week..
AP: Yeah?
Hubs: Well, if you kill these, I am NEVER buying you flowers ever, EVER again.
AP: Sheesh! No pressure or anything!

Let's just hope it rains.. a lot.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Itty Bitty Shout to my Martini Swap Partner!

A month or so ago, I entered Ashley's Martini Swap and was paired up with the lovely C from Shortbread. She has a super cute blog and I couldn't wait to read more about her so that I could find her the *perfect* martini glass. It was so much fun reading through her posts and learning of her loves, likes and dislikes! Even though she's a Duke fan and I'm a Villanova-gal, we still have much in common!

So... after a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day at work yesterday (ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration. It wasn't that bad, just filled to the brim with patients demanding their chemotherapy in a timely manner) I came home to a pretty little package waiting on my doorstep!

C, let's just say you couldn't have picked a better martini glass for me! I LOVE IT! And your little notecard was just icing on the cake. I definitely laughed out loud a little! Thank you for being such a great swap partner! I'll be sure to put that glass to great use!

I'll be posting a picture of my fabulous beach-y martini glass later this week!

Ashley, from According to Ashley, thanks so much for organizing this! It was a blast!

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Great Jeans Fiasco of 2K9.

Speaking from years of personal experience, shopping for jeans is almost as fun as a trip to the dentist for a root canal without anesthesia. (Not that I've ever had to undergo a root canal, with or without anesthesia, but if I had to guess, it must be pretty downright awful!). Dare I say it, but I might even enjoy bathing suit shopping more so than shopping for the perfect pair of jeans. Yes, you heard me.

Just thinking about having to dig through rack upon rack of indigo and dark wash and then schlep said indigo and dark wash into a fitting room gives me a headache.

Is this blue too dark? That one looks purple.

I could definitely do that with a straight edge razor and safety scissors. With my eyes shut.

Faded denim went out with the 80's.

These have butt pockets. With flaps?

Butt pockets? I am so anti butt pockets with flaps.

Especially when snaps are involved.

Is that strategically placed grafitti? Oh, hell no.

My inseam is 34". All of those cute, popular pairs of jeans with the 31" inseam are floodpants on me. I might as well be out working in the rice paddies. And unfortunately, I was in the market for a pair of casual everyday jeans that I could pair with cute flats (or one of the umpteen pairs of gladiator sandals that I now have my eye on).

So, as I was saying.. After the disappointment that was JCREW, Hubs and I headed over to Nordstrom to check out some denim.

Hubs: I don't understand why you need another pair of jeans.
AP: Well, if none of your jeans fit you, would need a new pair of jeans, too.
Hubs: Why don't you bring them to the tailor?
AP: Because it's expensive and it takes too long. I just want a new pair of Sevens, just like the ones I'm wearing now. However, I would like a pair that I cannot pull off without unbuttoning them. Thats the sign for "IT'S TIME FOR NEW JEANS!"
Hubs: What-e-v.. OH MY GOD. Those aren't really $200.00.
AP: Babe, that's just how much nice jeans cost.
Hubs: Ok. Well, all of those jeans in your closet that don't fit anymore? We're hocking on eBay.
AP: Don't say that! I know you love how some of those jeans look on me- so isn't that just more of an incentive to buy a new pair?
Hubs: I could love you in a pair of jeans from Marshalls. Why don't you just go there? Jordache? Levi? I hear they make good jeans.
AP: It's not the same. When a girl finds a pair of jeans she loves, there's no turning back. Did you just say "Jordache?" Ew.

Let's just say that this continued every. single. time. that I picked up a pair of jeans. The only respite I could find was while I was hoarding jeans in the fitting room, stressed to the max and absolutely disgusted by almost every pair that I tried on.

Finally, after having tried on what felt like 47 pairs of jeans (but in reality must've been more like 9 or 10 pairs) I exited the fitting room and slumped down in the chair next to Hubs, who truly was waiting rather patiently. I was determined to find a pair of jeans before leaving. Hubs, however, had other ideas.

Hubs: No luck?
AP: No luck.
Hubs: Ready to get of here?
AP: No! I didn't find any jeans! And this isn't very much fun for me.
Hubs: Well, I don't see how spending this much money on a pair of PANTS could be!
AP: No, I mean, well. I'm not enjoying this experience. I can't shop with you. You're making me crazy!
Hubs: So, what? You want me to come back and pick you up?
AP: What am I? Thirteen? Are you my Dad? Dropping me off at the mall with my friends?
Hubs: I'll run to Costco, buy some steaks and you can go into all the stores you want.
AP: Be back in an hour?
Hubs: One hour.
AP: Don't forget me?
Hubs: Hurry up.

So there I was. Left standing outside of the food court, feeling a little bit like one of those tweeny-boppers whose parent just dropped them off at the mall. You remember those days, with enough money for a Cinnabon and couple of shirts from the Gap? I was sad to see Hubs go, but secretly excited to retrace my steps through JCREW and the jeans department of Nordstrom. Feeling a little less.. flustered.

In Hubs' defense, he really did try to be a good sport about it. If I were him, I'm sure I wouldn't want to pal around the mall with my wife while she tried on a million pairs of jeans either. So Hubs, I'm sorry I put you through that. And the next time I try to convince you to head to the mall with me? Just tell me to go read my blog.

PS: In the end, it was a success. I ended up buying the Garland Cami in White Sand (on sale for 59.00, Hubs!) and a brand spankin' new pair of Joes Jeans. As a true lover of my Sevens and my Citizens, I cannot say I am a convert, although I'll definitely be wearing these babies out to Happy Hour on Friday!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Husbands. To Shop (Or Not To Shop) With Them?

We all know how much I love my darling husband. He usually graces just about every post that I write and not that I'm biased or anything, but I truly believe he's God's greatest gift to me.

I have to admit though, I love him a little less when we're at the mall together. It gets me EVERY time. Apparently I forget how god-awful the last experience was, because each time that I go, I beg and plead for him to come with me! Deep in my subconscious I know it's just so we can spend every waking minute together, but damn girl, I wish my subconscious would remind me why I shouldn't bring my husband to the mall in the first place! Let's revisit last Saturday's trip to one of the biggest malls in the country.

Having made weekly trips to this mall since the early 2000's (and everyone wonders why I chose Villanova University? Nursing program? Bah! Ginormous mall only 10 minutes away? Sign. me. up!) I know this mall like the back of my hand from every strategically placed kiosk to the locations of all my favorite stores to the nail salon that must move it's location at least once a season. I know it all.

I also know that one shouldn't be attempting to shop here on a Saturday- as the crowds en masse would deter even the most obsessive of shoppers. Since Hubs is only home on the weekends (more on that story later) I have to work with what I've got and I really needed an Easter dress and I really wanted Hubs' opinion. No problem, right?

Problem. It all started when we got in the car and I proceeded to drive "the long way." It wasn't necessarily the wrong or long way, but it wasn't the way Hubs would've gone. I'm a creature of habit and therefore, I drive the same roads over and over again- even if it means an extra traffic light or two. Hubs has this innate sense of faultless direction that I was never graced with- so this is usually a common quibble between us.

We arrive safely at the mall and I park in the lot closest to our first destination. JCREW. Now, JCREW doesn't usually tend to stock a lot of their dresses in-store but they very rarely let me down, so I assumed it was a sure bet.

Walking into the mall, the first store we pass is a MILAN diamonds store. Donny Downer, ahem, Hubs immediately says, "Really. Who is going to come to the mall to buy diamonds? Especially from that place? This is why I hate the mall."

Let me interject and say that my level of stress and anxiety regarding this mall trip is already at an all-time high. Not only did I have to battle throngs of oblivious women pushing baby strollers as if they were competing for a prize in the Daytona 500, but I also had to serpentine through the hoards of tourists and tweeny-boppers who like to come to the mall to do nothing more than dawdle and window shop. C'mon people! Wake up and step to it! Look lively! This girl is on a mission here!

As we walk into JCREW, Hubs and I go off to our own separate sides of the store. I never really gave much thought as to why department stores would segregate their men's and women's sections. I always just assumed it was to de-clutter and organize the clothes- but now I've finally realized why. It's so that husbands and wives can walk into a store together, husbands head off to their side of the store for a cleverly designed distraction while their wives shop for simple items at a cost that would only blow the minds of their male counterparts. Ingenious.

I don't even have to watch the direction Hubs walks in, as I already know it's immediately the way of the clearance section. I set off in search of the perfect little Easter dress and find myself growing more and more disappointed in the Spring lines that JCREW has set out. Where are all the cute tanks and shirts that I've dog-eared in the catalog? And the perfect little Easter dress that I've had my eye on? I knew they wouldn't have it in stores. Ah, but wait.. What beautiful piece of turquoise silk catches me eye? None other than the Garland cami I've been drooling over for months. Despite it's eighty dollar price tag, I swoop in a grab the last size four on the rack in my desired color. And the new matchstick jean? I mean, I've been dying to hop on the skinny-jean bandwagon and now's a good a time as any, right?

Sure, Saleswoman Barbara, I'll take a pair of those too. And I'm off to the fitting room.

"Hm. I'm actually in love with this outfit," I say outloud to myself, causing a few other faceless pairs of feet to giggle in the rooms around me. I dial Hubs' cell and direct him to the fitting room so I can get a second opinion. From a guy who's wife picks out all of his clothes. From a guy who never owned a pair of jeans until his freshman year of college. From a guy who's go-to colors consist of Navy, White and Grey. What was I thinking?

AP: Don't you love...
Hubs: What's going on around your neck, there?
AP: Huh? It's part of the shirt..
Hubs: Those things aren't even laying flat- there's some sticking up under your ear..
AP: You really don't like it, huh?
Hubs: And it's not very fitted.. I mean, it makes you look a little bit like (and here's where he breaks into song) "She's a brick houusssse."
AP: trying to stifle laughter and flushed cheeks Ok, what about the jeans?
Hubs: Going for the tapered look? No. Don't like them. I like the jeans you have at home. The closetful of jeans. In the guest room. Remember that closet?
AP: Sigh.

Ok. So for the first time in a long time, I struck out at JCREW. But in all honesty, I really did need a new pair of jeans. While on our walk to Nordstrom, which thankfully happened to be right across the way from JCREW (or else I don't think I could've coerced Hubs to come along), he fills me on the salesman assult he suffered while perusing a rack of khakis.

Hubs: I think that guy in there really liked me.
AP: Oh yeah? What makes you say that?
Hubs: He kept trying to help me.
AP: Honey, thats what salespeople do!
Hubs: Oh yeah? Did he tell you how great you'd look in a pair of pants? I tried to escape him by heading over to look at oxfords but he found me. He proceeded to tell me he owned that particular shirt in every color. And that he thought seafoam green would look great with my blonde hair and skin tone.
AP: Ok, that's a little weird for a guy, I guess?
Hubs: Seriously, why was he checkin' out my skin tone? I'm a dude!

Are you still with me? The is turning into quite the long post.. Go grab some lunch or a snack.. heck, go out and enjoy the GORGEOUS weather and come back later to read about The Great Jeans Fiasco of 2009 that resulted in Hubs being sent home from the mall... lovingly, of course!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Flashback Friday.. Wa-Hoo!

Alright friends.. it's that time again.
Here's this weeks edition of Flashback Friday!

Ahhh, swoon.
Anybody else love/obsess over these guys back in the day? C'mon. I know you have the sleeping bag, the matching bed linens, the playing cards and the Jonathan Knight doll. Wait a minute. You don't? Maybe that was just me. I can't say much for their recent comeback, as they've pretty much fallen off of my radar after the second grade, however, I have been known to bust out a pretty stellar rendition of "Step By Step" after a few bombay tonics. "Ooooh Baby!"

I'd rather not divulge how many summer days I spent making T-shirts with my friends in the backyard. My favorite shirt ever created was actually done by my Momma. It was a peach colored t-shirt (with matching leggings, of course) that was adorned with little circular mirrors edged in puffy paint. Obviously there were many other swirls of puffy paint strategically placed throughout the t-shirt. Let me tell you, boy, was I stylin! I might even condone the use of Puff Paint in later adulthood. Everyone's weekend kickball league needs a creative team shirt, right?

Legos were for sissies. I grew up with this tin can of fun. How angry did I get when I ran out of the tiny connector pieces or didn't have enough wheels? Needless to say, my set of Tinker Toys was made of wood. My brother's set, circa the mid-late nineties was made of plastic. Loser.

My kid-idol. I wanted to be her. Hankerchief around the knee and all. When Henry was finally able to adopt Punky after he rebuilt his photo studio that burned to the ground, I may or may not have jumped for joy!

When I wasn't running around the house trying to be Punky, I was running a muck, much like my other childhood idol, Pippi. I'm not ashamed to admit I still know every single word to her themesong and can remember begging and pleading with my mom to let me borrow "just one more" of her VHS tapes from the local library. One of my all-time favorite episodes? "Scrubbing Day"

And last but certainly not least, who remembers the myth, "if you mix pop rocks with soda, your stomach will explode!?" Oh, the things they'll tell children. Mmm. Sugar rush.

Happy Friday! Keep wishin' some good juju the way of the 'Cats! Goooo 'NOVA!

Have a fabulous weekend and stay tuned for the new and improved (hopefully) I Love You More Than Carrots!

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