Sunday, November 29, 2009

Oh, The Pressure!


So many secrets to keep!!
How is one little girl
expected to keep so many
BIG secrets?
Will divulge soon...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Marital Musings on Gchat and Why Pet Insurance is a Good Idea.

Here's an email I received from Hubs this morning, after what we thought was going to be a routine annual vet visit for Sullivan. Note, our one year old Olde English Sheepdog had an elevated kidney lab value.

To: Wifey
From: Hubs
Subject: Sullivan Needs a Job

Ok, so his belly (and most of the way up his sides) is shaved bare and he's passed out snoring on the carpet, completely unaware that this simple trip to the vet cost us the following:

310 - Ultrasound
95 - Cbc and SuperChem panel
69 - Urine protein/Creatinine ratio
110 - Leptospirosis culture
109 - Urinalysis
40 - Blood culture (Anaerobic)
61 - Amoxicillin (Side effects are Nausea and Vomiting... Awesome!)
52 - Annual routine exam fee
22 - Rabies shot
47 - Pre-op bloodwork
24 - DhP Booster shot
26 - Heartworm Antigen test

Grand Total: 917 dollars.

There was no, "I Love You" or "Don't worry he's fine, I promise I won't put him down and not tell you." Hubs simply left it at that.

We followed up shortly after with the following gChat conversation:

Mike: Well, I think we'll wait to see what these test results show and then maybe get him some insurance for the future. Seriously, his medical bills this year cost more than my yearly medical insurance!

Me: But he's really cute.

[Enter miniature Hubs meltdown]

Mike: I don't know what to do! How are we ever going to afford a house with all of our expenses? What if we had a 3k mortgage payment due this Friday?

Me: Honey, if everyone else can manage? I think you and I will be fine. I'll stop spending so much time at JCREW. Maybe we need a townhouse and have to stop looking at such big single family homes. You know, THIS IS NOT CRAZY! This is what happens when you own a big dog. Big dogs = big money.

Mike: I am just venting. This isn't about Sullivan.

Me: Poor Sheepie :(

Mike: He cost me my flatscreen, your Yurman and our vacation to Greece. And all he can do is lay here and show off his shaved peenie.

[For those of you that don't know, we refer to Sullivan's boyhood as a "peenie.]

Me: Um, you said peenie on Gchat. I almost spit soda out of my nose.

Mike: Oh, and we're eating Ramen noodles and Saltines for the next 4 months.

Me: Can I atleast get some peanut butter to go with my saltines?

As far as we know, Sullivan might have a kidney infection. Although he's showing no symptoms and he's still the goofiest, most loveable Sheepie in the entire universe, we're going to treat his likely infection with an antibiotic and wait for some of his cultures to come back. And I may or may not need to find myself a second job...

Please keep him in your puppy prayers!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Not Even Thanksgiving Yet...

and I'm already thinking about Christmas.

We have plans this weekend to break into No Man's Land
aka our attic
to bust out our Christmas decorations.

I. can't. wait.

I did promise, however, to not even talk about
putting our tree up until after Thanksgiving.
Becuase I'm pretty sure it would the proof my husband needed
to convince himself I'm crazy.

Don't worry, that tree will be up Saturday, November 28th!

Since my darling husband
and loving family read this blog,
I thought I might make this year's present shopping
experience a breeze. You know, by putting out there
just exactly what I would like for Christmas. This way,
there's no brain-wracking, no worrying, no long nights
spent tossing and turning, trying to figure out what would be
the perfect gift.

Keep in mind, I'm only half serious and both
my family and husband know this about me.

You know me, always thinking about others!

First up, the Canon 50mm f1.8 lens.
Word on the street is that this is a fab lens
to showcase the 15.1 megapixel goodness that is my camera.
I cannot wait to shoot with this lens!

Wipe the drool from my face, I adore this ring.
David Yurman's Prasiolite Albion Petite
Split Shank ring. There's also an 11mm beauty, but
I fear this might be too big for my dainty little hands.
I've been lusting over this ring ever since
Hubs devirginized me to the wonder that is
David Yurman for my birthday last year.
Size 6.
Muchas Gracias.

What's not to love about these boots?
I think I need them.
JCREW Chalet Shearling.
Size 10, please.

And last but not least,
I haven't bought a watch for myself since my
parents gave me my Swiss Army watch when I
was first accepted into Nursing School.
Afterall, every nurse needs a watch with a second hand!
It was a very sentimental gift (my favorite kind!) and I wear it all the time.
I just think maybe it's time I add another one to my lone collection!
The Burberry Round Watch
It can be found at Neiman's, Nordie's, Macy's
and of course, the Burberry store.
You know, just incase you were wondering.
Not to mention it would coordinate ever SO nicely with
my fab wellies.

So there you have it.
Ashley Paige's Christmas List.
What about Hubs, you ask?
You should see Hub's list.
Xbox 360... the new Zune.. the Nook..
His list goes on.. and on.. and on..
He says,
"Now you know how I feel!"

Silly Hubs.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

On Things I Love So Much... But Shouldn't.

Particularly as a meal (ie: dinner).
Queso for breakfast is a punishable offense,
let alone completely undesirable and unthinkable.
I do have some self-restraint and good nutritional sense, people!

Happy Tuesday!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Marital Musings. On Christmas Cards.

AP: Hey Hubs, what's my budget for this year's photo Christmas cards?

(Ahem, let's take a minute. I'd like to point out how awesome it is that I'm actually concerned about our budget. Bud-get. See? It really is in my vocabulary!)

Hubs: How many do we need? Like 50?

AP: FIFTY? You practically have fifty people on your side of the family! I was going to get between 100 and 120!

Hubs: You don't even have 100 friends. Who are you kidding?

AP: I bet I do! [Start rattling off names of friends and family...)

Hubs: Alright, alright. You can order 100 but for every one that you don't send, I'm going to make you eat it.

AP: Deal. [hesitates] Can Sullivan help?

Hubs: Of course. [hesitates] Wait, he'll really eat them!

AP: Duh, that's why I asked!

Monday, November 9, 2009

It's That Time Again.. Family Christmas Photo Time!

Hubs and I spent this past
Fall weekend in Hometown, New Jersey
attempting to pose long enough for this year's
M family Christmas picture.
Needless to say, it's not easy
when you're working with
105lbs. of sheepdog!

Lot's and lot's of love and thanks goes out to my
extremely talented father/photographer
who captured some amazing pictures of us!

Here's a windy family photo
that snuck up on us inbetween photo ops.

Stay tuned- Once we've chosen the winning Christmas card photo (we only have approximately 170 to choose from), I'll be sure to share it with you!

And because I know you can't get enough of the adorable Sheepie, here he is again, snuggling with me on the kitchen floor!

Happy Monday!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

On Vehicle Warning Lights.

I'm already running 10 minutes late. I hate being late.
No, really. I hate it.
With every fiber of my being, I loathe being late.
I am chronically early. All the time. For everything.

But I digress.

I'm already fifteen minutes late. I start my car to get the defroster and fabulous seat heaters running, close the driver's side door, and run to open the gates at the bottom of our driveway. I get back in the car and am greeted by a day-glo orange warning light glaring back at me.

That's not really what I said.

It looks like an exclamation point embraced in a parenthetical bear hug.
Perhaps, an exclamation point wearing a modified inner tube.

WTF, Lexus? Are you serious with yourself?
It might as well have been a monkey holding a plunger.

It can't be my oil. I know I'm due, but it doesn't look... oil-like.
It can't be my wiper fluid, we just refilled that!
And doesn't that warning light usually look like ocean waves?

I should have been out the door fifteen minutes ago.
Oh. My. God. I'm going to have a breakdown.

Tearing through my owner's manual, I realized my tire pressure is low.
My tire pressure. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Thank you, inner-tube-wearing exclamation point!
Happy freakin' Wednesday.

Monday, November 2, 2009

My Husband Is On a Funny Roll..

Let's start by setting the scene:

We're on our way home from Maryland this weekend,
minutes from home, to be exact, when Hubs realizes he needs
to put gas in my car (after driving all over God's creation all weekend)
and if we'd like to eat something
for dinner other than wine and leftover Halloween candy,
stop at the grocery store for a box of macaroni.
Meanwhile, Sullivan is in the backseat and it's
taken us nearly three hours to get home.
And we've already stopped at PetSmart for
overpriced "poop bags."


[in the grocery store parking lot]

Hubs: I'm just running in for a box of macaroni
AP: [as the door shuts] and coke!
Hubs: [huffing and puffing, storms away]

Literally 5 minutes later...

AP: Well, that wasn't bad now was it?

Hubs: [as serious as ever] Obviously, because I wasn't dollywagging.

AP: [on the verge of hysterics] dollywagging?
AP: I'm sorry, don't you mean lollygagging?

Hubs: [desperately trying to keep a straight face] Just go with it.
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