Friday, January 4, 2013

Can I Be A Renaissance Mom?

I never knew how many different kinds of moms there were. I mean, I kind of thought that once you became pregnant, were matched with an orphan, birthed a baby, et cetera,  you became a mom and that was that. Seemed logical, right? 

Well, it's not. Apparently there are many different kinds of "moms" out there and just like everything else, we love to put a label on them. In doing so, it helps us further continue to do what we, as women, do best which is judge each other. 

And here I was thinking that you somehow procured a baby and became Mom. Silly me.

It wasn't until my first son was born that I realized that not only could you be a mom but you could be a "crunchy mom," an "attachment mom," a "slow mom," an "authoritative or authoritarian mom," a "nuturant mom" and so on and so forth. 

I like to think that I'm a little bit of an "everything mom," kind of like a Renaissance Mom or the melting pot of moms so to speak. However with my latest purchase of an amber teething necklace that I realized I may be just a touch "crunchier" than I ever thought. 

I imagine myself going down the proverbial "checklist" of The Crunchy Mom. I co-sleep. I babywear. I make my own organic baby food, I clean my house with vinegar-based chemicals and have plans to nurse my youngest, god-willing, for at least the first year of his life if not even a touch longer. 

Don't worry though, you'll never see me on the cover of a magazine for nursing my nine year old.  

But then what kind of mom am I that I diaper with disposables and drive a gas-guzzling SUV? Not to hate on any Prius-driving mamas out there but I just can't cram two kids, all the crap that comes with two kids and a one hundred pound Sheepdog into one of those suckers. Not to mention that I don't even own a pair of Birkenstocks and employ the use of chemical cleaners where vinegar-based products just don't cut it.

I also consistently leave the lights on in every room of the house long after I've left said room much to my husband's dismay.  

Does that make me a Sometimes-Crunchy-But-Sometimes-Environment-Loathing Mom? Can I get a t-shirt made with that title? 

What gives?

As a parent I believe that it's near impossible to fit the cookie cutter image of one particular type of mom. After all, don't we each have the same end goal in sight? To raise civil, loving, well-mannered and well-adjusted kids? 

With my first baby, I formula fed him, never wore him, had him sleeping in his bassinet by day ten of life and he managed to cut every single tooth in his mouth without the aid of an amber teething necklace and lived to tell about it. 

That must mean that I am a Once-Reformed-Non-Crunchy-Mom-Who-Sometimes-Hates-The-Environment-But-Sometimes-Doesn't-And-Indulges-In-Semi-Crunchy-Mothering. 

I'm sorry that just makes me laugh. 

I'm a mom. I love my boys with every fiber of my being even though some days they drive me to drink. I reward my toddler with processed Red #40 M&M's for good behavior but try to balance that out with an organic carrot or two. I'm just trying to do my best by them so they don't end up in therapy later in life. 

Where's the label for that?

31 comments :

  1. I really enjoyed reading this. I'm part of a local moms grp on Facebook & i'm about to quit. They are SUPER judgemental about any comment that doesn't "fit their code". I too am a mix "mom types". I just do what I think is best for my kids at the time! Maybe i'm making up my mom method as I go :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well said! Again! Amen! I totally feel ya on this one! Totally! You're a good momma Ashley!!!! The boys are LUCKY and BLESSED to have you!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love this!
    I think 'Mom' should be the only title because that pretty much sums it up, right? I think putting adjectives in front of it just sets ourselves up to be judged by those who don't agree with whatever title we've given ourselves.
    I'm just a mom, that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this and am totally the same way. I'm so conscious about something things which makes me a little "crunchy" but other's I could care less!

    I do swear by the Amber teething necklace though, we just wrap it around Hayden's ankle instead, as my husband said there was no WAY his son was wearing a necklace haha!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I believe the label for that is "mom". =)

    I'm right there with you... a little bit of everything all mixed into a goal of raising delightful children who will one day be {hopefully} delightful adults.

    I have no idea why I chose the word "delightful" when there are so many other ones to choose from... but it just felt right.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cute post. Motherhood is tuff work. I'm a bit of everything too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't know ANYTHING about being a mom, but I DO know that you ROCK at it. Love this post, AP. Who cares if you don't have a specific label? I think it's more wonderful to be unique. Those precious boys are so lucky to have you, whatever kind of mom you are :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cute post! I think I'm a bit of everything too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This post kills me! My title would be very similar but throw in I'm a vegetarian who can't stand the thought of killing something that buys my carnivore husband his meat! Whoops:) as long as you, your husband and your children live a happy full life! That's the only thing you need;) so far baby girl is well and thriving, so I'm happy!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Amen, sister.

    P.S. What on Earth is a "Slow Mom"?!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Every child is different and I guess that's what makes us Moms so different too. Not just from each other, but from ourselves too! I too surprised myself with how "crunchy" I became with Rhys -- nursing past a year even though I was 100% formula-fed, making all his baby food, even whipping up homemade excema salve for his super-sensitive skin! If there ever is a second bambino, I'm sure I'll have to evolve again. Luckily for Carter and BabyMac you are exactly what they needed you to be at each moment -- their mama. xo!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I just go by "mom" - labels are so middle school ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great post! I laughed out loud a few times. Even if your kid goes to therapy later in life (for whatever reason) you will still have been a great Mom. Rock it Momma!

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Excellent Mama"....there's your label!! You rock and your beautiful boys know it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I haven't even heard of all the types of moms. Ha! What does "crunchy" even mean?! I thought that was attachment parenting??? Bahahaha. Oh man. I love this post! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. OK, just have to respond (again) but this time to your first commenter (Courtney Byrne)...I cannot stand when others moms judge! I went through feeling this too early on when my baby was born and finally one day just realized that I "Mom" the way my child needs me to. Everyone is different and that makes life more fun!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I believe the label you are looking for is "MacCarter Mom" Trying to fit into one mold leaves us feeling like we have failed in all the other molds at some point. Just keep doing what is best for those babes and you are sure to win in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Can I get an A-MEN?

    I am so much in agreement with you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm definitely an everything Mom. I co-sleep with my babies when they are small, cloth diaper, {sometimes} babywear, and tend to lean toward baby led/toddler led parenting. However (and that's a BIG however), our generation is super trendy with parenting and I think there is a lot of pressure out there to be a "certain" way in regards to parenting. It kinda drives me bonkers. I do things that I want to do, for the reasons that I want to do them. We're all Moms that are doing our best. So I'm kind of a crunchy Mama, but I also will NEVER drive a Prius, I am not the biggest recycler, and I believe in sleep training. And also, I'm a cloth diapering Mama that does it to save money, and the fact that it's good for the environment. People can judge if they want but the bottom line is, my kids are happy and healthy. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love everything about this, and you! I strive to be as good a mother as you are!

    xo

    Jaclyn

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, goodness, some moms out there, I swear! You sound like one of the good ones.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm a M.O.M (Mom of Many) which means I have six children and a full time buisness (my Husband and I own and run a Hotel). I drive an SUV and send my kids to public school. But I am blessed to have the best of both worlds as a Stay-at-Home-Full-Time-Business-Mom! Thanks for your posts, they bring a smile to my face when I am having a hard day in the trenches.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love this. You're a Mom of All Trades!

    ReplyDelete
  24. WELL SAID. I feel the same way. I was hippie in that we breastfed to 13 months, practiced baby-wearing, did baby led weaning, eat (mostly) organic, and use natural based cleaners. But I too own a SUV and use disposable diapers and gasp will give my kid a french fry.

    Absolutely love this post because I can relate 100%.

    ReplyDelete
  25. That's the label to a good mom, doing what's best for your fam and your sanity but whatever means.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yep! I was tweeting about this very thing a few weeks ago with some girls. Someone (IRL) made a comment to me that they were surprised I gave Gwen medicine when she had a fever. You know, because since I home birth, cloth diaper, baby wear, extended breast feed etc etc ... That automatically prohibits my children from getting medicine.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ah I'm still new mom, but boy do I love this post!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think the label is just "mom." :-) I'm extremely irritated by labels and the women that perpetuate them!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Love this post! I can totally relate. I never considered myself a "crunchy" mom but just realized I do everything you listed above. Along with drive an SUV, feed my kids hot dogs, etc. Ha. All I know is I love my boys and I'm doing the best I can.

    You are an awesome mommy!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I believe the label for that is "perfect" ! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  31. So very well said, A.P.!! I love love love this post!!

    ReplyDelete

As always, thanks so much for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...