Blood, Baptisms, Frosting From A Can and Melissa G's Poly-Blend Spandex Dress. (Or Not).
1. In my quest to ditch the Mom-Uniform and start wearing what I refer to as "real clothes," I've now managed to get blood on not one but two brand new JCrew T's. The first was a stranger's(apologies for bringing up the vommy feeling so early in the day) and this morning I found myself busting out the Hydrogen Peroxide just minutes before 9am because a certain 103lbs. sheepdog decided to pounce on the big toe of a certain 10 month old.
2. I'm roughly a few glasses of wine short of losing my shit. Why? Because we're getting ready to host nearly 55 friends and family at our home for Carter's Baptism this weekend. Being of sound mind, I had brilliant plans to rent out a back room of a local restaurant, however that's not apparently "how we do" down here in Maryland. The Husband figured we'd save a little moo-la by hosting the party in our backyard. In an earnest attempt to avoid finding ourselves on TLC's next big show, "Redneck Backyard BBQ," I've been going out of my mind crazy trying to coordinate table and chair rentals, catering, cake-baking and the like. Husband? For the record? We ain't saving any moo-la. Sorry, Charlie.
3. Did I mention there will be a Cassata cake at this celebration? Oh, because there will be. And the nearest Italian bakery? Forty-five minutes away.
4. And no, I will not be wearing a bedazzled hot-pink slice of poly-blend spandex a la Melissa G. this weekend. I know, I'm sure many of you had your hopes up, but I just couldn't steal her thunder. Not to mention, I didn't have time to book my personal hair or makeup stylist either. So? A JCrew shift dress and glitter wedges, it is. However, I am trying to squeeze in a little spray tan action.
5. It's that time of the month and in celebration I've been eating frosting out of a can with a spoon. Maybe even at or after each meal of the day. What do I always say? No judgies. So zip the lip ladies.
6. The M House has four bathrooms. Do you know how much that sucks? I'll tell you. A whole freaking bunch. Want to know a secret? One of them is rarely used. Therefore? It's rarely cleaned. That's just how we roll.
7. Speaking of cleaning, I have about 539 things to check off of my To-Do list today and neither Blogging nor Twitter are one of the 539. Good thing it's all I want to be doing today.
Alright, Loyals. That's all I've got for you today!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Give all your Daddies out there a big giant squeeze from us-
In honor of mine, I'll be telling you all just how