This is obviously not the blog post I had intended to write today. I had intended to whip up this grand post showcasing both my wonderful Polyvore skills as well as my priceless wit and wisdom as a photographer and link up with these two moms as they share "What To Wear Where.. Family Photo Shoot" style. And then? I was going to write blog posts for the rest of the week and respond to the kajillion important emails that I have been neglecting, not on purpose mind you.
Instead, thanks to a Craptastic day of Mothering, this is all you're getting. I apologize in advance for the curse words.
Parenting two children, at least my two children, is fucking hard. Some days, I don't know how you Moms of Two manage to shower let alone get dressed in real clothing, edit pictures, write blog posts, cook dinners, meet friends, host play dates, love on your husbands, walk the dog, pin crafts, make said crafts and teach your Toddler how to speak a second language, video it and further share it on Facebook.
This may shock some of you but I'm lucky if I do one of those things each day. And clearly teaching my child a second language is not high on my priority list. We're having enough trouble with English, thank you very much.
Today? I suck at mothering. So much, in fact, that my Cool Mom Patient Mom card should be revoked. So much, in fact, that I should be put in Indefinite Mom Time Out only after having my mouth washed out with soap.
Please don't tell me how I'm such a great mother. Please don't tell me tomorrow is a new day. I know these things. I know I'm not a terrible person but if you heard me screaming at The Toddler today? You might think otherwise. I certainly do. I screamed so loud that not only did I make him cry but I scared the bajeezus out of the baby as well.
Hi, I'm Scary Screamy Mommy. Have we met?
Today is one of those days where I'm meeting basic needs and the rest can shove it. The only outing we might make today? Will be to the liquor store and I'm not kidding. There isn't a single drop of wine in this house and there is more than enough whine to go around.
I'm wearing the same yoga pants three days in a row. I smell of sour milk and could give the homeless hobos in nearby Manhattan a run for their money. Sure, I could shower now but I run the risk of waking said Toddler who, after finally going down for a nap, has been awake and downright foul since 4am this morning.
So here I sit. In my own funk. Writing about how much today has kicked my ass and taken my name.
Remind me of this day when I say I want to have another baby.
I had Oreos today too, only while sitting at my desk at work doing nothing when I should be doing something..
ReplyDeleteLet's just call today "I Don't Give A F*ck Tuesday!"
=)
I've been reading your blog for a while. I have a baby and a toddler myself, the baby will be 5 months old this week and the toddler is 2 years and a month. This morning my toddler spread my lip gloss all over herself and my bed while I was changing the baby. I still don't have my sh*t together and it's 3:45. It's ridiculously hard! I always feel so inadequate compared to the pinterest moms. At my toddler's birthday party one of her friend's moms said "I need to apologize in advance because Tyler's birthday party is going to seem so over the top compared to this." It was a 2 year old's birthday party in late July at a pool. Sorry if I didn't have time to hand felt any hair bows for favors. I just wanted you to know, you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am halfway through my second pregnancy and those are the days I fear - but know will happen. Sorry you're having a shittastic day.
ReplyDeleteNo words... just hugs. <3
ReplyDeleteMy only advice - get the Oreos with mint filling.
ReplyDeleteI love you for your honesty. Someday I will meet you and buy you a well deserved drink while we exchange stories about our boys, ok? xo
ReplyDeleteMy only advice - get the Oreos with the mint filling.
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ReplyDeleteAll I have is empathy for you. I have more of these days than I care I admit. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI have those days too. Our boys are pretty close in age, and it is fucking hard. I'm glad ai'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteHeck, at least you're meeting basic needs! Well done for that! Xxx
This post is pure awesomeness. I have days like that and I only have one, easy 3 month old...and then I drink all the wine.
ReplyDeletecheers!
Been there done that. As in yesterday, when in the car I said "What the fuck" to the driver in front of me twice, to which S said, "Mama, you don't say fuckin" 3 more times. We've all been there and my mouth should be washed out many more times than most. The good thing though? Is that S proudly puts me in time out when I lose my shit. Happy Tuesday/Monday! Hang in there AP!
ReplyDeleteThis was me the majority of Saturday - Monday, while I was off work and my husband was out of town. Full time mothering just one is WAY hard. And I only do it on the weekends, when my husband is usually home with me. I lost my cool more often than I would actually admit this weekend. I can't imagine adding another in the mix right now. Hugs mama.
ReplyDeleteSplurge on some really really good wine. Love you for keeping it real!!! Xo
ReplyDeleteI have my fair share of Oreos on the couch days too. And my own darling toddler was up for the day at 4:30 this morning. Grr.
ReplyDeleteI love you. Do you know how many times I feel this exact way (today, in fact) and feel like such an asshole, and that every other mom is doing it better than me?! Misery loooves company because I'm glad I'm not the only one!
ReplyDeleteI'm legit on the brink from the past few days, and that's just with ONE child. God help me when there's two. You're my freaking role model, frankly, for holding it together as well as you do!
oreos, wine, and mindless television are totally my way to "reward" myself for not killing anyone. and i only have one to look after.
ReplyDeletebeen there done that. it happens. we're human. no one has visited the ER today, right? bonus points!
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ReplyDeleteHardest shit EVER! Cheers.
ReplyDeleteYou know why I love this post? Because you're honest! More people should blog like this!! It makes us all feel like less of a failure when we read things like these. I love you. haha
ReplyDeleteTotally have these days---let's just say I just finished an episode of Beverly Hills Nannies while my boys are free to reign around the house as long as they aren't crying! We all have those days---glad someone else is having one today. Maybe tomorrow will be one of the better ones?!?! Go get some wine and savor the kids' bedtimes!
ReplyDelete-Julie
http://www.thechirpingmoms.com
Love your honesty. Seriously I call Mia a little goober when I really want to say "little shit, little brat. or maybe something worse. and amen to you with another infant in tow.SAHM's never get a break! xoxo
ReplyDeleteWhy I am only finding your blog now?! This was my day in a nutshell as well!!!! :) So, glad you posted this!!!
ReplyDeleteLooks like sh*t just got real in the M household. Breathe, drink some wine, and practice those selective hearing skills. :)
ReplyDeleteBeen there.
ReplyDeleteDone that.
Wrote the blog post.
More times than I'd like to count.
Love your honesty. Hope tomorrow is better.
Girl, thanks for keeping it real as always. I screamed at Rhys on Sunday and made him cry too. Sigh. Hurt my mama heart. We talked it out and everyone is okay. It sucks, but it will pass. In the meantime, cheers from afar and hope I can treat you to a cocktail (or three) in person soon! xoxo
ReplyDeleteDamnit, AP...now I want Oreos. Double stuffed Oreos!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have a place to vent - you need it on days like today! Keeping it real: PARENTING IS SO HARD. Like, the hardest ever. Fist bump.
ReplyDeleteI lose my cool with my almost 2 year old more than I'd like to admit. Cheers to you. I don't drink alcohol, but some days I seriously think about taking it up.
ReplyDeleteYep, those kind of days suck! Been there more times than I care to admit...I don't
ReplyDeleteIke being scary screamy mommy :-/ and I have 3! 4,2 and 3 months. Then they go and be all cute and sweet and bring on all that fun mommy guilt. Sighhh
I worked in daycare for 6 years with sometimes up to 18 two-year-olds. This doesn't even bring me remotely close to mommy-status, at all.
ReplyDeleteBut, in my own way, I have had those days. We all have. They totally suck.
Here's to hoping you have enough milk for your oreos :)
pretty sure that is me this week too and I only have the one child... oy. I can't even imagine what 2 is like.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the i don't give a f*ck tuesday!
We need wine. No, liquor stat. It's basically the only cure.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you've had such a rough day. I know those days all too well. I hate when I lose my cool and use my screamy mean voice. Drink all you want tonight. There are millions of moms nodding right along with you.
ReplyDeleteHugs Momma! Hope hubby brought you home a bottle (hell, 20 bottles) of wine!
ReplyDeleteApparently we moms of 2 have you fooled. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe book Unglued is helping me cope with my crazed mom days. Check it out.
ReplyDeleteYou're amazing, and some days you do what you need to do. In my case, it's crying in the shower.
ReplyDelete:)
Megan
There are many, many days which I feel like a horrible mom. I think we all get you and know how bad it sucks. Thanks for the shout out and feel free to link up later, but only if it's a creative outlet for you...no pressure! I only got my own post together by locking myself in a room over the long weekend. Hugs and I hope you got some booze :)
ReplyDeleteOh these type of days are sadly frequent in my house with my two boys. Toddlers are amazing at pushing buttons and it certainly makes me feel like crap some days too...I feel defeated by a 3 year old its tough to say the least!!I guess we do the best we can and its a good thing that we can recognize the flaws in ourselves and hope we can make the changes we need to make... its a constant battle and constant learning process! Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeletehttp://lemoinefamilykitchen.blogspot.com
Truth? Not one mom has if all together. It's like Jenga, you take something away to build up another part of your mommy life. And the part you took from starts to crumble and that's when the freak out happens. At least for me. I've had MANY day like this. Days where you don't want to get out of bed and feed your kids because rolling over to sleep 5 more minutes sounds glorious. Screaming so loud at your kids because, well, what else can you do? They won't listen no matter what you do or say. I think the end of any mommy's rope is a dark, dark place. Fortunately your kiddos will love you no matter what happens. You are the love of their life! Sometimes I have to ask my 3-year-old for forgiveness for my behavior because I'm not perfect and I don't always handle life/things well. Tomorrow should be better...
ReplyDeleteI have days like that with only one child. I think all moms have been there, but it doesn't make it any easier to get through those hard days. You're doing a great job, but I know you know that :)
ReplyDeleteI love Boy Meets World! We've spent a fair amount of time watching that the past couple weeks because L is working 4 molars and making me want to scream some days.
I had the same type of day and I only have one child!! Sorry you had such a shitty day. xo
ReplyDeleteI foresee many a night like this in my future. I would toast you, except I'm still pregnant. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI only have one child & I am BEYOND thankful for my little miracle. But man, sometimes I think we get on each other's nerves. Like last week, we were going on day 3 with no power from our good friend Isaac & by Friday, we were both incredibly happy to part ways for the 8 hours I was at work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this... I m having one of those funky days and I only have one. So I sit drinking Miller lLite out of a can because we are out of wine....
ReplyDeleteSeriously were you at my house this past weekend? I think you were. This is exactly how I feel...thanks for sharing and letting me know I am not alone. This having a newborn and toddler? It's like for real hard. Why didn't they tell us this?
ReplyDeleteTonight my kid threw his cereal at my head, pulled my hair and kicked me repeatedly while I tried to alligator wrestle him into his jammies. Hes currently in his crib wide awake yelling RAHHHH at the top of his lungs. Pass the wine, please? The only repreave I will have is dropping him off at the Grandmas while I drive off to work tomorrow...and I feel like the worst Mother for saying this but I.can.not.wait. Thanks for being real and making me remember its okay to have a craptastic mom-ing day.
ReplyDeleteI have one child and I call him a ding-dong, when usually I want to call him a dummy. My husband still wants eight. I still want to get a full-time job and leave him home with the kid...
ReplyDeleteBEEN THERE. And? I'm a kick-ass mom. It happens to the best of us. A lot.
ReplyDeleteGod, I love how honest and real you are. That's why I LOVE reading your blog. For real.
ReplyDeletelove your honesty so much! love you!!!! you honestly make motherhood more embraceable--because NO ONE has it together all the time, and anyone who claims to is totally full of shit. your honesty is refreshing and I truly admire you. really, really.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and if I could, wine. I feel guilty for days when I use my scary scream voice. Rarely is it warranted, but usually misdirected. Wait til Carter does tell you, in English, like Tommy does me, "you're not being very nice Mommy!" it will actually make you laugh at yourself. Some days are challenging, and worthy of Oreos and alcohol and the bare necessities. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI love how you real you are. I only have one who just turned 2 months and sometimes find any excuse to have a glass...or two...or three. You are not alone. :)
ReplyDeleteRosa
Man, oh man. I am nervous about those days as a mom of two but I am not even close to that point in my life! I am sorry that it was such a craptastic day. Oreos sound great.
ReplyDeleteI hope it was an AWESOME trip to the liquor store. Much love!!! Today will be better, I promise!
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I've been in a funk and appreciate knowing I'm not alone. I know I'm lucky to get to stay home with my son 90% of the time, but man there are days...where I hide with oreos...and would do anything for an 8 hour workday at an office, that someone else cleans, with other adults. Then later in the week I would smack someone if they suggested I look at working outside of the home. Hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteOh Mama, pass the Oreos and wine! I am at work all day and my child is at school all day, yet I still manage to lose my cool with her far too many times. It happens!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post - seriously.
ReplyDeleteI have been freaking out a little bit about the (less than) 2 months I have left with just 1 child.
I see all of your cutesy little projects and the birthday party planning and the OOTD and I am all - Is she a superhero or something? I felt like I was missing something, like I should be able to do more in a day because you with your toddler and newborn and dog are accomplishing way more than I am.
So this is refreshing to me!
I also yelled at toddler this week - like serious voice, way too loud, totally angry yell ... he laughed - I almost lost it!
I seriously had to debate how much harm a glass (or 2) of wine would do to my fetus (IWISHIWASKIDDING!)
I love you- you are awesome, btw, I have been wearing the same yoga pants for about a week now, lol!
ReplyDeleteDitto. Ditto. DITTO.
ReplyDeleteDitto. Ditto. DITTO.
ReplyDeleteYears ago,i had 3 in tow... In the grocery store. My llittle girls were hiding behind the paper towels in the paper aisle while i waited for the slowest lunch meat cutter in the universe with my son who, on a good day, was super impatient. Just as i was about to get waited on, he let out an ear ripping scream that horrified a little old lady who was standing next to us. She turned to me and said, "that child is the worst behaved child i have ever seen!". As i stood there too stunned to believe what i heard, she turned away and left the store. Of course, 2 minutes later i think...as any perfect mother would, "how dare that woman say that about my son?" i take off after her to share some of the nastiness ripping through me and i stopped dead in my tracks when i realized that my son... With the piercing scream hadn't even been as bad in the store as usual. Embarrased for being such an awful mother, i picked up the paper towel girls and the now wailing son and headed for the door without groceries. "never fear," a voice said from behind me, "someday u will look back on this day and wish u had it back.". That was 34 years ago, and i can assure u i don't! Maybe it needs to be 50?
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