Thursday, September 27, 2012

Outsmarted By My Toddler... Again.

Some days I swear my toddler is out to get me. 

Despite my Bachelors degree in saving lives and curing cancer there are days when I have to step back and seriously consider how it is that my toddler, my uneducated or rather educated by my own hands toddler, has the wits to outsmart me yet again.

Just yesterday he walked me over to the couch, sat me down, handed me a book, draped me with a receiving blanket, patted my hand and lovingly whispered "night-night." Now, don't be fooled like I was, Loyals  As I sat there, my heart overflowing with pride and emotion that my kind, sweet boy was thinking of others with such an altruistic heart, my kind, sweet boy was hiding behind the drapes, emptying an entire box of Vanilla Wafers and sliding them between the slats on the heating duct while alternately tossing one to the dog. 

A day before that, he walked upstairs from the playroom and closed the door behind him, leaving me to play trains and read books by my lonesome, an activity we had both been enjoying together just minutes prior. 

As I crept up the stairs and quietly opened the door to the kitchen, I found him pulling a chair up to the counter where he had lovingly placed his leftover mac-n-cheese in front of the fish bowl, muttering "Choo-Choo Fish, eat! Choo-Choo Fish, cheeeese!" I can only imagine where he was headed with that one. 

He's a smart cookie, that C. A smart, conniving, wily cookie. 

A cookie that purposely goes through the motions of distraction so that he can, once again, slip out the sliding glass door unattended. 

A cookie that uses the dog or his brother as a scapegoat for ill intentions. 

How does he even know how to do these things? 

Last time I checked, Thomas the Tank Engine didn't release an episode on Outsmarting Sir Topham Hatt. There isn't a Veggie Tales movie on Pulling The Wool Over Your Mama's Eyes. 

So what gives? He's only two. I can only imagine what his teenage years will bring. Somebody hold me.

18 comments :

  1. My daughter does some of the same things! It's amazing how at 2 years old they are so manipulative and can plan out exactly how to misbehave!

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  2. I'd give you advice AP, but sadly my 3 year old LABRADOR RETRIEVER outsmarts me on the regular :( Clearly, I'm doomed when it comes to Mothering...human or canine! ha!

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  3. I'd give you advice AP, but sadly my 3 year old LABRADOR RETRIEVER outsmarts me on the regular :( Clearly, I'm doomed when it comes to Mothering...human or canine! ha!

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  4. Found you on My Three Biggles. Your blog is great and I'm following along on GFC (Marilyn Clark)

    I am currently celebrating my blogiversary as well with 5 day as of giveaways. I'd love for you to come check it out and follow along if you like the blog.

    http://4you-withlove.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-12-of-blogiversary-celebration-huge.html

    Have a great day!

    Marilyn

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  5. ha I ask myself all the time how is it that P can be so smart. Once she was hitting (this was about 6 months back) and I stood up, pretending that I was extremely hurt bu her tiny little hand. So she looked up at me, those big brown eyes turning soft, reached up and said, "mama." I melted, bent over to pick her up and got a smack across the face. At 1. What the??

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  6. This is flippin' hilarious. You have to give him credit... he's pretty smart!

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  7. Oh C don't you know your mommy is smarter than u! They try so hard to outsmart us with their cute antics!

    I found H outside the other day in only his skivvies, what? They think they are to adorable to get into trouble...sometimes they are

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  8. Good Gawd this makes me nervous for what is to come with Mrs. P!!! Gahhhhhhh right now I am dealing with an 8 and 6 year old that are already gooing and gagaing over boys at school and lying about forgetting their homework at school so they don't have to do it! Effffffffffffffff

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  9. mama- I swear two year olds should come with a year subscription to the wine of the month club because of how clever, err- whitty, they can be! Kelsey has figured out more things than I care to admit (for fear I'll have DYFS called (kidding)) and I have double kid-proofed things only to be fooled by her and Jules tag-teaming me...hugs to you!

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  10. My daughter is six months and I feel she is quickly on her way to outsmarting me. Ack!

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  11. I can't even begin to imagine the trouble Carter and Bennett would get into if they ever have the pleasure of meeting. B is also conniving and has beat me at my own game on many occasions. I have no idea where they get these ideas.

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  12. Toddlers might be the slickest little folks out there. Never trust one alone.

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  13. This is pretty much hilarious!! Oh C!! :)

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  14. Ohhh mannnn I laughed out loud at this post and his level of smartness ... scary the things they come up with!

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  15. Carter makes me laugh, but it would not be nearly as funny if this was Rhys pulling this stuff on me! At least he's a smart little cookie! :)

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  16. Mommyhood is completely different than the babysitting/nannying that I do... But I've got to say, those kids are so stinkin' smart! I have to wonder where they learn the things they do! It is simply INSANE.. The things they come up with. LOL. Hang in there. ;-)

    I know that I was a really sassy, trouble maker of a child and as a teenager, my parents dub me the "easiest" one of their four children. There's hope yet! ;-)

    Lots of love, AP. Hope your week is stellar!

    XO,
    Kenz

    lifeaccordingtokenz@gmail.com

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  17. this made me laugh. e and c would be a DISASTER together. e likes to come to you all sweet and say "here's your phone mommy". then when i take a second to look at the phone that she's had for no telling how long, she disappears and finds cookies, or goldfish or whatever she can get. tonight? she tried a new one. she was in the tub (i walked out for two seconds to return to her playing with the soap). I told her to quit playing with said soap and she got mad. then quickly said "what's that mom? i think you should go check the tv". yea good try kid. you're not playing with the damn soap!

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  18. I need you to do two things for me...1) write a book, because you are absolutely one of the funniest, most dry people I know. Cracks me up. And 2) Come to MS so we can have a girls night, complete with lots of wine and lots of food. Oh, and so I can love on those kids of yours!

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