Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Post You've All Been Waiting For.


I wanted to share with you a recent guest post that I had written for one of my absolute favorite Smug Mommies. It's all about those times when motherhood downright trips you and sweetens the pot by then kicking you in the kidney. No, Loyals. I'm not just re-posting this guest post. In fact, there's an alternate ending I've included just for you. Believe me when I say this.. you won't want to miss it

Just when you thought it was safe to say that you've finally mastered the art of Motherhood, your toddler goes and does one or more! or all! of the following. Thus otherwise proving to you, that you in fact, have absolutely no idea what you are doing. Even after sixteen months

Just when you thought it was safe to say that you've finally mastered the art of Motherhood, your fifteen month old, while in Rare Toddler Form, takes off running up and down the family room sectional, an act that you have forebode many a time, culminating in an impromptu swan dive off of the rear arm landing right smack on his noggin. With a side of temple-to-cheek rug burn to boot. 

Motherhood = 1. AP = 0. 

Just when you thought it was safe to say that you've finally beat Motherhood into some sense of submission, your 15 month nabs your Breakfast Dr. Pepper on the sly (no judgies) and takes off running with it into the kitchen. Only then does he proceed to spill the entire can of said Breakfast Dr. Pepper topping the whole disastrous situation off by laying down in the middle of the puddle trying to lick up his mess. Mothering at it's finest, Pretties

Motherhood = 2. AP = 0. 

Just when you thought it was safe to say, "I kicked Motherhood's Ass Tush!" Daylight Saving Time rolls around and royally screws up the months of sleep scheduling you've worked so hard on with your Crazy Wildebeest Toddler, thus rendering them asleep at 6pm and wide awake shouting your name at 5:30 in the morning. I always thought hearing my child lovingly say my name would bring tears to my eyes, but at dark o' clock in the morning, friends? It makes me want to choke myself with my Yuppy Tempurpedic sleep mask. 

Motherhood = 3. AP = 0. 


Just when you thought you had this whole Motherhood thing figured out, your toddler decides its time to cut not one, not two, but three of his molars all at the same time. Do you know what this means? Frankly, there is not enough Children's Motrin and Ketel One this side of the Mason Dixon line to survive Molar Teething. For clarification, the Motrin is for the toddler. The Ketel One for his sanity-hemorrhaging, grey-hair sporting, weary-apparent Mother. 

Mothering is not for the weak. Motherhood = 4. AP = 0. 


And lastly, dear Loyals, just when you thought it was safe to say that you've truly gone and made Motherhood your Pretty Little B*itch, you wake up one morning after a serious weekend bender, only to pee on a Pretty Little Stick and find a second pink line staring lovingly back at you in your face. 

Motherhood = 5. AP +1. Literally. 


And because everyone loves a good belly picture.. Look who accompanied us on last week's date night! 






Oh, Loyals.. Do I have a slew of posts headed to a Reader near you. There's just so much you need to be caught up on! You know, like how I'll be a Mama to two under two for a whole. entire. month this summer! Baby M number two.. headed this way June 2012! Yay!! 

109 comments :

  1. Ah I knew it! So exciting! Congratulations! Yay for babies!

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  2. Congratulations! You look fantastic!

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  3. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I vote girl this time around so you have a cute little princess to put in Burberry, Marc Jacobs...etc :)

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  4. I was wondering!!! Congratulations, so excited for you!

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  5. Oh! OH! OH! Haaa, I'm so surprised, in a good way. Congratulations. Now suddenly a bunch of recent Tweets of yours...take on a new meaning. Hope you are feeling great!

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  6. Finallllyyyyyy! :) *big sigh* YAY. Congrats AGAIN.

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  7. YAY YAY YAY!! So happy and excited for you! So glad this post was finally published! June 20122 is going to be an awesome month for babies!

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  8. congratulations ap ;) the bump is adorable!

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  9. Yay! I have notice a severe drop off in wine & booze mentions lately! :) Congrats! Can't wait to read all about the {mis}adventures! :)

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  10. YAY!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, girl!!! Love this post by the way...hope y'all are having a great day:)

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  11. Congratulations! You look awesome! I can't wait 2 hear all about it!

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  12. CONGRATS!!! So exciting for your whole family!

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  13. Oh my gosh!! Yay!! Congratulations! So excited for you!! Jealous but extremely excited. :)

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  14. SO happy you finally get to share it on here! Can't wait to follow along on your pregnancy adventures! Congrats to all 3 of you! :)
    -Shannon

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  15. So happy the news is finally out! I've been waiting to see how you would announce it. :) Congrats again!!

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  16. YAY!! I have been impatiently waiting fort this post! Been thinking about you and the newest Baby M. So happy for your family! Can't wait to hear more details. Oh, and you look great!

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  17. LOL! I die, I have BEEN WAITING for the announcement since you know I happen to open blogger for the 2.2 secs that that post showed up!!! Super excited for you, husband, Toddler C and Sheepie!!! Congrats!!!

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  18. HOOOOOOOOOOORAY!!!!! I'm so glad you're public. Congratulations again AP!

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  19. The belly! So cute! Congratulations, so very, very exciting!

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  20. THANK GOODNESS I wasn't losing my mind! I SWEAR I saw a post about this and then I couldn't find it LOL I wanted to email you but didn't want to be nosey!! haha

    SO excited for you!! CONGRATS!!! xo

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  21. YAYAYAYAYAYA!!!!! You look amazing!!!! Glad everyone is healthy! Can't wait to see new baby in June! And you with bump in February! XOXOXOXOX

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  22. Hoooooray!!! So many June babies!! I am so excited for you! What a cute little bump:)

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  23. Ah yay! So excited for ya! :) You look amazing.

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  24. HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!! You are looking ADORABLE!! Perhaps this means baby #2 won't come out as a toddler?

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  25. Congratulations you crazy mama!!! You look amazing, and I can't believe you were able to keep it a secret for that long!!! Hope you are feeling good and Carter is letting you get some rest here and there!!!!

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  26. I am happy/terrified for you. But you look great!

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  27. Congrats, such wonderful news!! Love the announcement!!

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  28. I knew it! Congratulations! So exciting!

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  29. YAY Congrats! I thought this was what the "secret post" was that I missed. That is so exciting!

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  30. First of all, this cracked me up! Second of al, and more importantly, congratulations of baby #2!!

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  31. Congratulations again friend!!!!! You look amazeballs (my inner rzoe is coming out for you) and so excited for you!!!!

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  32. Congratulations AP and The M Family.

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  33. I just knew it!!
    I am so incredibly happy for you and your adorable little family!
    Congratulations!!

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  34. Congratulations to you!!

    YAY YAY YAY!!

    XOXOX

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  35. So, of course I'm really happy for you...but I'm also really happy for ME now that I don't have to watch every tweet or comment I send you. Keeping secrets is hard for ALL of us!!!

    BTW, any Loyal worth their salt should have noticed the lack of Chardonnay mentions and had some serious questions ;) Just sayin'.

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  36. Congratulations!!! Although, I know that after a bender, I can usually get a belly pic just like that. No joke. I may post my Friendsgiving preggo pic. Thankfully for my life timing, I have not had to pee on a stick post-bender.

    I'm excited for you, hubby, C and to see how ILYMTC 2.0 comes along!

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  37. AHHHHH!!!! Congrats!! So exciting!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!!! And your bump is beyond adorable!

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  38. Congrats girl! I am so very excited for you and your little family!!! :)

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  39. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!! That is such exciting news!!! I am so so so happy for you! WOW!

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  40. I am so excited for you! I am so excited! oooh maybe we will get a girl this time and get to send you lots of big bows for her to wear. Oh my goodnes. I am so happy for you. Congratulations!!

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  41. YAYYYY! Is it weird to say I've been waiting for this post? Ya, probably. Anyway, as excited as a total stranger can be for another, I'm that excited for you all. Congrats! You are beautiful!!!

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  42. Well it's about time!! I thought I was going crazy... big congrats mama, I am SO SO happy for you and your family.

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  43. So excited for you! I caught your "accidental" post a few weeks back, but I've been good and kept my mouth shut! Glad the cat is out of the bag! :) Can't wait for the details!

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  44. Congrats!! What exciting news!! You'll have to give me tips- I have Baby #1 cooking now. :)

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  45. Yay so glad this is finally out!!!! Congrats to you! I vote girl!!!!

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  46. Congratulations!! Your little bump is adorable!

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  47. Yay!! I've been checking back, every day, waiting!!! :-)

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  48. Yay C is a big brother!!!!! Bout time girl, bout time (you announced it)

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  49. Ooooo two under two rocks!
    Congrats!!!!

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  50. so cute! I wish I looked 1/2 as cute as you do while I was pregnant!
    Congratulations!

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  51. OMG! So exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGE congratulations to you!!!!!!!! I love how everyone in my blogging circle is preggo or (like myself) having babies! Woooo hoooo!!!!!!

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  52. Congratulations!! You look amazing!

    xoxo,
    megs [at] Shine On

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  53. I am a fairly new reader but just wanted to say- congrats! You look fabulous!

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  54. Congrats lovie!!! Sooo excited for you!!! If I can do two under two you can too!!! Love all you m's!! Xoxox

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  55. The guest post was one of my favorite posts you've done. This is THE favorite post you've done.

    I can't wait to hear all the great stories from your first trimester!

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  56. yay!!! so excited for you AP! :) you're gonna be an awesome mama of 2!

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  57. Congrats again AP! you look so cute :) I think its a girl :)

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  58. YAY!!! I'll be a mom of 2 under 2 for close to 4 months depending on when P-nut decides to show her face!! So exciting! I'm thrilled for you guys!!

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  59. Love it Mama!! You're going to rock motherhood of two!! You look amazing by the way!

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  60. Congrats again! :) You look great!

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  61. Congratulations! You will be a great momma to two under two! :)

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  62. WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!! Congrats, my fabulous friend...it's time for a girl, I think. I am so excited for you, can't wait to read allll about it :)

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  63. Congrats!!! You look great :) C is going to be a great big brother, so is sheepie!

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  64. Congrats!!! So exciting :) We are expecting in July...I have been reading your blog for awhile and have been learning a few things about being a mom! So excited to watch your journey #2!!

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  65. thank God its out!! I needed bump pictures in my life!! And I'm just going to say it now.... That looks like a girl bump to me.. Oh goodness if we get another AP ;-)


    I love that little bump already!

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  66. CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) So exciting!

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  67. Yay!! This is such exciting news!! Congrats to you guys!

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  68. FINALLY! I've been waiting for this since the "oops post" weeks ago. You have some good secret keepers as readers. You look great, and also, can't even tell from the front that you have a belly! So Congrats for real this time.

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  69. You look AMAZING. I can't wait to find out what you're having! I hope C gets a lil sis to protect!!! Congrats M Family!

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  70. Good lord, from these comments, was anyone surprised at all? Seems like we all knew!! YESSS I'm dying for those first trimester stories! And hopefully E won't seee this embedded within all these comments.. but The Fever is spreading and you need to knock it off. LOL!!! I KID!!!

    CONGRAULATIONS!!!!!!

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  71. CONGRATS!! I love the new header and everything! The belly is just too cute!

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  72. Congratulations! Such exciting news!

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  73. OMG so excited for you!!! You can do it mama! I promise! Congratulations!!!

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  74. Cannot wait to see if that little onesie in your header needs to be blue or pink. Love you sister friend!

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  75. OMG OMG! YEW HAZ BAYBEE IN YOUR TUMMMYYYY! So excited for y'all!! xoxo

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  76. So excited for you :)
    Congrats again girl!!

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  77. YOU are the cutest! Congrats again! Love ya, mama!

    Dannielle

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  78. Oh my gosh, girl! So exciting! I have been MIA for a few days due to the fact that our bundle of joy decided to make her appearance so I am just now seeing this. You look so cute!

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  79. Ha, well I guess I'm not that far being, just saw you posted today! First time I've been on in awhile! ;)

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  80. Congrats to you!!! You look great!!!

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  81. awe, congrats AP! Can't wait to watch it unfold!

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  82. Congrats!!! I was a little suspicious with all your tweets about being exhausted and having weird food cravings! And look at the little baby bump already!

    I told the husband that yet another one of the summer 2010 mamas is pregnant with #2 to which he told me I was falling behind! Ha! I'm more than happy to watch you take this journey with my butt firmly planted on the non-preggo bench!

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  83. Yeah! So happy for you Ashley! Can't wait to follow along. You look fabulous :)

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  84. Congrats! You're looking so cute!
    Two under two though.. sounds scary to me, but I'm still in the newborn stage.

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  85. How exciting! Congrats! (P.S. i know what it is like having a crazy toddler running around and running your life - in very messy and chaotic ways!)

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  86. A HUGE congrats to you! How exciting!

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  87. Congrats! I am a mom of 3 under 3 (I was 3 under 2 for a while there) and it's freaking insane.

    New babies are always fun!

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Thank you for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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