Dear Plastic E-Collar,
You suck. Sure, you are see-thru allowing my poor recouperating puppy a little extra peripheral vision, but Sullivan is a clumsy boy and you sure aren't helping matters. Not only is he afraid to walk up the stairs without me by his side holding his head up so that he doesnt get his head caught beneath said steps (like he's done a bazillion times since coming home from the Vet yesterday), but he also has an incredibly hard time eating, drinking, walking, sleeping, running, laying down, rolling over and just plain acting like his normal puppy self.
I would also like to take this time to say thank you for the black and blues and cuts and scrapes all down the front of my legs. From a far, it looks as if I went running through a briar patch. No, no. Alas, I did not. I've just been trying to stay out of poor Sullivan's way. Don't even get me started on your price tag. Because frankly, it's about $40.00 more than you're actually worth. That's right. I'm calling you worthless. Had I know there were alternative collars out there, I would NOT have wasted my time with you. That's right. We're breaking up.
As I'm writing you this letter, I've just gotten back from the Organic Pet Shop down the street where they sell Cozy Cones. They're moldable. Pliable. And they certainly won't give Sullivan whiplash. Doesn't this face look much happier to you now? Thanks for a whole lotta nothin'.
A Much Happier (without YOU) Dog-Mom and Sheepie