Monday, June 1, 2009

Mondays, You Suck.

Dear Mondays,

You suck. It has been decided, due to your immense suck-age, you should be stricken from the work week.

Sincerely,
Ashley Paige


Dear Over Jovial Patient,

Thank you for repeatedly referring to my ponytail as "scraggly" and "scruffy." I cannot help it that my hair can barely be brought back into a high pony without a few whispy stragglers fighting to stake their claim on top of my head. Unfortunately, I was too concerned with finding your chemotherapy orders and placing them in pharmacy in a timely fashion, to worry about my appearance. Having only met for the first time today, you and I do not have that kind of rapport in which we can make fun of each other.

Promising to use a little extra hairspray next time,
Ashley Paige


Dear Oblivious 1986 Dodge Neon Driver,

Thank you for paying no attention to the Interstate whatsoever while maintaining less than the posted speed limit and practically sideswiping my vehicle in an attempt to perfom some sort of kamikaze lane switch while chatting away on your cell phone. Oh, what's that? You couldn't see me? Maybe that's because the duct tape you were using to adhere you side mirror to your door was obscuring your view.

With utmost disdain for your craptastic driving skills,
Ashley Paige


Dear Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and Friday,

You'd better be on your best behavior this week. Or else I may be reduced to a tantrum-throwing, excess wine-drinking lunatic.

All my love,
Ashley Paige

10 comments :

  1. Strangers can be so rude sometimes!

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  2. you are hilarious! i needed this -thanks for helping end my work day with a smile.

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  3. Oh, don't you love it when patients make comments like that?! Just makes it allll worthwhile ;-)

    Hope the rest of the week goes better!

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  4. Amazing. Your Monday sounds about like mine. I hope for all of our sakes that the rest of the week is better.

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  5. awwwww.. Mondays do suck!! Im sorry for all the bad things.. hope your week brightens up!! xxoo

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  6. Love it! Especially the note to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Hilarious!

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  7. Aww girl! This actually made me laugh.. Sorry! But I really hope the rest of your week goes better!

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  8. Dear Carrots,

    I thought you looked HOT!!! today - for a Monday.
    But then, I only see the incredible good in you. (and all the good you have done for me)
    I speak only words of kindness. (when you are listening)
    And I walk poised with the knowledge that you rocket my chemo orders back to pharmacy.

    Ad don't worry I know a guy who can take that rude SOB for a ride in that 86 Neon. Two birds. One stone.

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  9. These open letters are cracking me up and I so needed them today. I had a horrible Monday at work and speaking of bad drivers, I feel like people are driving worse by the day around here.

    I was trying to get on 95 from the Ben Franklin today and this car came on the shoulder and tried to jump out in from on me on the ramp. I wanted to hurt someone!

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As always, thanks so much for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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