Dear 2008 Volvo XC90,
I see you everywhere. Aside from the Range Rover Sport, you are the next Main Line mobile. Women decked out in shiny baubles from head to toe drive you, what appears to be effortlessly, from grocery store, to salon, to soccer field. Just today I watched from the deck as seven of you drove by within the hour. I will admit, I have been drooling over you for quite some time, especially in Ice White or Black Sapphire.
But not anymore. Driving you was a huge disappointment. Honestly, I was shocked and appalled. I expected a much smoother ride. I did not imagine it would feel as if I were driving around in a truck. Granted, you have nice torque, but for the love of all things holy, it felt as if I was driving around 8 or 10 tons. And where's all of your shiny gadgets? I had recently come off of test driving a 2009 Toyota Highlander and that baby was fully loaded! I mean, seriously. You couldn't even have an automatic back hatch? Puh-lease.
And let's not even discuss your snotty salesman. Steve over at Toyota? Way cooler. Or the fact that you were covered in dog hair. That "Bob" the salesman kept referring to as "must have been the Bichon." Weird.
Thank you for crushing my dreams of ever owning an XC-90 (unless it's the new 2010 which unfortunately costs about as much as the downpayment on a future house),