Wednesday, May 9, 2012

It Does Not Make Me Any Less Of A Mother.

Last night I received a series of comments on a post that really set my blood boiling. I made the mistake of reading them before bed and committed myself to addressing them here on the blog this morning. Please excuse the deviation from your regularly scheduled ILYMTC word vomit.


"You're acting like it's a burden to you to have a toddler and be pregnant as well as anything related to it."


"What you have is a blessing... remind yourself of that."


"Maybe next time you want to be funny and complain about your situation, you should remind yourself how it sounds..."


Let's get something straight here. 


I love my child(ren) with every single fiber of my being. Because I occasionally wish for a "break" from them doesn't make me any less of a mother. In fact, I believe it makes me an honest mother and a better mother.


I understand that it's possible to stumble upon a post of mine, such as this one, and judge me. I understand that I may be perceived as "selfish" and "full of complaints" and "ungrateful." But really, who are you to judge me? 


I am human. I do believe I am fully entitled to feel absolutely exhausted while chasing my toddler around while simultaneously being 34 weeks pregnant. It is tiring. It is emotionally draining. It is exhausting. It is painful. 


It is the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows.


Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had. Harder than the newspaper route I ran when I was 13 years old. Harder than working in the men's suiting department at Macy's when I was in high school. Much, much harder than administering chemotherapy, holding the hands of the dying, witnessing miracles and rejoicing with those in remission when I worked as a Bone Marrow Transplant and Chemotherapy nurse prior to becoming a mother.


That being said, would I trade it for anything in the world? Never.


Because I wish for a "break" or a "full night's sleep" does not make me selfish or insinuate that I am taking both my life and my blessings for granted. 


If you've been an avid reader of ILYMTC, which it appears you certainly are not, you would have a much clearer glimpse of who I am as a person and perhaps you might understand my "humor" better, whether or not you can appreciate it is another story. 


I don't appreciate feeling demeaned because I wish for a "break" from mothering. 


Since it appears that you're a relatively new reader around these parts, I am a twenty-eight year old "sort-of-works-from-home" mother who has endured plenty of her own struggles both in her past and in her present. Would you rather I blog about all of those? Hell no! I wouldn't waste my time blogging about them either. I'm sure you would find fault within them too. 


You are entitled to your opinion and I appreciate the time you took to share it with me. All six or seven times you attempted to publish your opinion here on my little space of the internet. You see, I read every single comment that graces this blog and I believe you made your point after the third, fourth, fifth and sixth time you attempted to submit it. 


The words "selfish" and "ungrateful" resonating time and time again as they filled my inbox. 


Would you like to know what I was doing just moments before you left those comments?


I was lying in bed next to my son, praying with him before bedtime, thanking God for blessing me with such an incredible little human (and another on the way) entrusting them in my care. I don't for a single second take that responsibility for granted.


And you think I'm selfish.


You spoke of loss in your comments. Did you know I experienced loss too? I know that pain too. I even wrote about it here. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I would never wish that pain on any one and it hurts my heart that you, a complete stranger, have endured it. 


I am human. Some days, I need a break. It does not make me any less of a mother. Any less blessed or thankful for what I have been given. So when you say that I need to be "reminded" of what a blessing I have? 


I don't need your reminder. Every day I am reminded. Even when my voice is raised and I'm on the verge of tears because The Toddler won't take a nap or won't eat his lunch or refuses to hold my hand outside. Our constantly puts himself in harm's way despite being told "no" for the 700 thousandth time. 


I am blessed. 


Please do not judge me when I say I need a break. It does not make me any less of a mother. 






121 comments :

  1. Amen, mama!!

    You know you never needs a break? Liars, that's who.

    I'm sorry that those comments affected you. I've been a mother since 1999. It is the hardest job I have ever had and some days I want to run screaming for the hills!

    Keep on, keepin' on, girl. You know what's in your heart and no one needs you to justify your gratitude and your love for your family. xoxox

    p.s. I hope you get a break soon!

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  2. I am applauding you. This troll can go suck it. You are allowed to complain and need a break. You are SO allowed. This mothering and pregnancy stuff? Hard. I have found that there is no correlation between complaining about the hardships of pregnancy and rejoicing in the blessing of it. Just this morning, I said to my husband, "I can't wait to give birth. I don't know if it's more because I want to meet this child or because I want to stop throwing up every single morning". Selfish? Maybe. Honest? Yes. Throwing up nearly every day (someitmes multiple times) for the past 7 months has been no walk in the park. Would I do it for a thousand years straight for my babies? Yes. Would I want to? No.

    None of these things make us any less of a mother.

    So, trolly troll? You can suck it.

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  3. I deeply appreciate your honesty because mothers need to know it is okay to want a break. No one should judge you for that. I've never suffered a loss, but some days being a parent is just hard! We are allowed to share our feelings about that. You did nothing wrong lady.

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  4. "I am human. I do believe I am fully entitled to feel absolutely exhausted while chasing my toddler around while simultaneously being 34 weeks pregnant. It is tiring. It is emotionally draining. It is exhausting. It is painful. It is the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows."

    I think that pretty much sums it up. And, I think it's especially important for those of us that have experienced a loss to feel like it's okay to complain about the difficulties of pregnancy / child-rearing once in a while. I'm sure the "commenter" will be eating her words if ever she is pregnant again.

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  5. I deeply appreciate your honesty because mothers need to know it is okay to want a break. No one should judge you for that. I've never suffered a loss, but some days being a parent is just hard! We are allowed to share our feelings about that. You did nothing wrong lady.

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  6. Preach sister! I don't usually comment, but I had to show support today. You are an amazing mother and wanting time for yourself is so, so normal and healthy. I read your post and thought YES!! This exactly!! and I'm not pregnant and just dealing our 19 month old. :)

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  7. It still shocks me when people have to write posts like this. That people think it is ever okay to say stuff like that to someone. It's insane.

    I laughed at your post the other day. And found myself agreeing with it more often than not. As a Mom who has suffered loss 4 times, I still am entitled to occasionally want a freaking break from the neverending job of parenthood. Kudos to you for admitting that you need such break. Those crazy Moms that are all "I could never leave my child" are the ones that snap and eventually do more harm than good. Just saying.

    People are insane. Realizing the need for a break is healthy. Not selfish.

    And if it is a bit selfish? well so freaking be it. Because as Moms, it's almost never about us. And we still deserve some "me" time just as much as the rest of the world.

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  8. Any good mother wants and deserves a break.

    People will be mean and hurtful that's unfortunately just the nature of this world.

    Hang in there and don't let this "person" get you down.

    As Mothers, we are all just trying to do the best that we can, but sometimes we feel like we've given it all we have and sometimes we just need a TO. And that's ok. That makes you normal. Not less of a mother.

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  9. Any good mother wants and deserves a break.

    People will be mean and hurtful that's unfortunately just the nature of this world.

    Hang in there and don't let this "person" get you down.

    As Mothers, we are all just trying to do the best that we can, but sometimes we feel like we've given it all we have and sometimes we just need a TO. And that's ok. That makes you normal. Not less of a mother.

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  10. When women have experienced loss, it's really hard for them NOT to see/read everything through miscarriage-colored glasses. I know you've been there, and I have, too. But it's not an excuse to get nasty with other people, just because they have something you don't have! THAT is selfish. And THAT Is ungrateful.

    My miscarriages changed me forever. They brought me to my lowest low. And yet? I effing HATE pregnancy! The migraines! The constant vomiting in all 3 trimesters! But that doesn't make me ungrateful - just a little more understanding of the people I used to judge for not fully appreciating and valuing something as highly as I thought they should.

    Great post, mama. Gracious & honest :)

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  11. Well said in every way. I'm sorry someone rained on your parade. I wish I could kick them in the teeth for you!

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  12. In fact, it makes you a more real and honest mother. I remeber thinking after James was born - I couldn't imagine needing a solo vacation or day off... I was wrong. We all need breaks from time to time and that's perfectly healthy!

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  13. I am a stay at home mother of 3 and you are absolutely right! We all need a break sometimes! Ususally the people who are so high and mighty about not needing a break and trying to make the rest of us feel bad about needing one are the exact same ones who stick their kids in day care for 50+ hours per week! I know plenty of people who have days off and still choose to take their children to day care instead of spending time with them. I spend time with my children. I am fully involved in their lives. For me to be an effective mother I need a break sometimes! I have worked full time in the past, even working more that one job at a time and being a mommy is WAY more difficult! If they don't need a break then they aren't giving it all they have!

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  14. What is wrong with people?? If we don't take breaks we won't be good mommies. We need to revamp and recharge to come back refreshed. I hate when people share their opionion by attacking others!

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  15. Love this! We all need a break and recognizing this makes us better wives and mamas!! Keep doing what you're doing.
    PS - your hair is amazeballs!

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  16. You tell 'em AP! ILYMTC is the real deal and your LOYALS know that you are an honest person. I commend you for your great Mothering, in fact, if and when I become a Mother I will be proud to be 1/2 the Mother you are!

    -Charlee
    thecoachswifecw.blogspot.com

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  17. You tell 'em AP! ILYMTC is the real deal and your LOYALS know that you are an honest person. I commend you for your great Mothering, in fact, if and when I become a Mother I will be proud to be 1/2 the Mother you are!

    -Charlee
    thecoachswifecw.blogspot.com

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  18. Amen! I love this post ans i love how honest you are. It is great to know that im not alone in mothering not always being peaches And cream. Thank you for blogging like you do!

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  19. ooo thank you for this girl. you're doing what YOU feel is best and no one should tell you differently xoxo

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  20. You go girl. We all need a break from time to time! I loved your list too, made me laugh out loud. :)

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  21. Love you! Great post -- sorry people are so ridiculous sometimes. You are a great mother. We all need breaks. It makes us better moms and wives. As much as we love our children, we have to put ourselves and our marriages, first, in my humble opinion.

    One of my fave "parenting" "marriage" books, Kid CEO stresses the importance of putting the marriage first and how important it is to let your children see that happy marriage.

    Sorry for my tangent, but yeah, you rock, it's ok!

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  22. Love you! Great post -- sorry people are so ridiculous sometimes. You are a great mother. We all need breaks. It makes us better moms and wives. As much as we love our children, we have to put ourselves and our marriages, first, in my humble opinion.

    One of my fave "parenting" "marriage" books, Kid CEO stresses the importance of putting the marriage first and how important it is to let your children see that happy marriage.

    Sorry for my tangent, but yeah, you rock, it's ok!

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  23. What the heck i demand a break everyday for an hour at least as soon as hubs enters the door If moms don't demand breaks we can not be good moms period

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  24. As a pregnant mommma with a toddler on the way....I feel the exact same way! I love my beautiful life as a mother and raising a wild 18month old. And I'm so very excited to be having another in the next few months. But being a mom is hard! I wish I had all my energy and never lost my patience! I wish my house could stay clean while we played all day and dinner always got cooked or my toddler always listened! It is human to wish we always felt great while doing our job but being a mother is a 24/7 job! If we do "take a break" to nap with the said toddler then we have to catch up later with everything else in the house to do. We may be grateful for our children and love we have the blessing of raising them but it doesn't mean we can't wish for a break or for some time for ourselves. It doesn't make us selfish it makes us real. As much as id love to be a machine, I'm not....and thank goodness because machines can't love or cry or laugh or pray. I'm a momma...flawed and all :)

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  25. Hater's gonna' hate! Some people just take everything too seriously. I don't have children yet, but I have friends with kiddos and they need the occasional break. Just because you need a break doesn't mean you don't love your children.

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  26. People are A$$HOLES!! I need a break and I want a full night of sleep. You are a great mother!! With a sense of freaking humor!!

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  27. AMEN! Claps hands over & over. I hate when people can be so judging, but the first to think they are saints. I have been a mother since 2001 & it is by far THE MOST hardest thing I have ever done. I have my days, we are all entitled. And tell the others to SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!!! You are a GREAT mother.

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  28. Don't let the haters get you down momma! You are a wonderful mother and all of your loyal readers know that about you! We ALL need breaks...even the haters (who won't admit it). Thank you for the honesty you provide on this blog. I adore that about you. LOVE YOU!

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  29. Seriously?! Who doesn't need a break from time to time? From anything they do in life, whether it be work, from the hubs, or from the children. I must be a terrible mother because I'm so excited about getting a date night with my husband for 2-3 hours on Friday night, which will take me away from my 5 year old and, gasp!, 3 month old!! Everyone needs to recharge their batteries and you should never be made to feel bad about wanting to do so. It never once implies you're not grateful for the blessings you've got! And btw, I thought your mothers day gimme list, it was awesome! :)

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  30. i know i posted on the fb post but i felt the need to post on here so that whoever this IDIOT is can see it. not many people know this but hubs and i went through a really hard time getting pregnant. i went through FOUR, YES FOUR, IVF cycles in a little over a year. are my twins literally our miracle babies? YES. were they worth the months and months of 3 to 4 daily shots, bloodwork every few days that left my veins bruised, my life revolving around my medication schedule and many MANY doctors appts, ultrasounds, nights of sleeplessness praying that THIS TIME it will work: YES ABSOLUTELY. but even i, a person you would think would bask in every moment of life as a mother as if it was the best thing ever, need a break from my twins. did i feel guilty about it in the begining?? yes. but its HONEST mothers like you that make me realize we all go through it. i suffered loss, disappointment, and even the possibility of never having our own children. and believe me i thank God EVERYDAY for blessing us with my two beautiful babies. we all need a little time to be selfish and have MOMMY time. there is nothing wrong with that. this person is living a LIE if they cant admit that to themselves and i feel sorry for them.
    P.S. i love you and send you a big sloppy smooch :)

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  31. i know i posted on the fb post but i felt the need to post on here so that whoever this IDIOT is can see it. not many people know this but hubs and i went through a really hard time getting pregnant. i went through FOUR, YES FOUR, IVF cycles in a little over a year. are my twins literally our miracle babies? YES. were they worth the months and months of 3 to 4 daily shots, bloodwork every few days that left my veins bruised, my life revolving around my medication schedule and many MANY doctors appts, ultrasounds, nights of sleeplessness praying that THIS TIME it will work: YES ABSOLUTELY. but even i, a person you would think would bask in every moment of life as a mother as if it was the best thing ever, need a break from my twins. did i feel guilty about it in the begining?? yes. but its HONEST mothers like you that make me realize we all go through it. i suffered loss, disappointment, and even the possibility of never having our own children. and believe me i thank God EVERYDAY for blessing us with my two beautiful babies. we all need a little time to be selfish and have MOMMY time. there is nothing wrong with that. this person is living a LIE if they cant admit that to themselves and i feel sorry for them.
    P.S. i love you and send you a big sloppy smooch :)

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  32. Seriously, what are some people thinking. I'm 30 wks with a 16 month old. I get it. My husband gets and most of the world around me gets it.

    We all need a break- some "me time" - one night off from the bedtime routine here and there.

    Thanks for always writing in a candid, funny way. I laughed my butt off on the mother's day post.

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  33. I am not a mom but most of my friends are a most of them had number 2 while number 1 was a toddler so I know from their experiences how tough it is. I have no idea why someone would criticize you. You say things that I assume most people are thinking. You rock AP!

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  34. A to the freaking men!!!! Love you girl!!!

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  35. I really can't believe people have the nerve to make comments like that. Everyone deserves a break every now and then. You are a wonderful mom and no one should ever tell you different!

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  36. I'm sorry that someone posted those things.

    Being a mother of two there are days where I would love a break. I think it's only natural when you have a 24/7 job! I do not think that it is in the least bit selfish to long for one.

    This post is so well written and I applaud you for defending yourself and being honest!

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  37. Every mom needs a break! I know I do. I was in your situation 2 years ago with an almost 2 year old and pregnant. It is hard and exhausting and at 3 1/2 and 22 months...it still is. I hope you have a wonderful mothers day! P.s. I wish for sleep, a tummy tuck, a get out of bedtime free card, and wine too :)

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  38. First of all, I can't get over the fact that people want to leave you those kinds of comments. The beautiful thing about blogging is that you can be as completely open as you wish. I think you are being real and not giving anyone a false sense of motherhood.

    Don't feel like you have to justify that! Haters gonna hate. We love you!

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  39. Holla!!!!
    Yes that was my attempt to act cool as a mom :-)

    I know EXACTLY how you feel and often have the exact thoughts. There is nothing wrong with ever wanting a break...in fact...it's necessary when you can. Don't ever feel bad for taking one or EVER let anyone tell you to feel bad!

    Being a full time, Stay at home mom is hands down the hardest job I've ever had in my entire life. I remember the first week that I was home alone after having my first (at the point when husband went back to work and mother and sister weren't able to visit as often) thinking that "work" (outside the home) is sooooooo much easier.

    It took me a while to take my breaks...around the point when my youngest was nearing 2. I make it a point to get together w/ girl friends at least once (sometimes twice) a month to take off my mom hat for a while (and for them to do the same). And what do we chat about???? Our kids usually!

    You are a great mother...don't forget that!!!!

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  40. I can't believe people actually have the guts to write that they did.

    I actually like when parents take breaks. it's healthy and needed. I was that babysitter who would tell stressed out parents to go out for an evening and don't worry about paying me. Lame? yes. But you get my point.

    Don't let this person get you down.

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  41. AMEN & I LOVE YOU.

    You are a fabulous mother!

    'nuff said!

    xoxoxoxox

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  42. First, thank you for your Mother's Day post. It made me laugh on a day I needed it, and it made me feel good to know that I'm normal for wanting those exact same things.

    Second, I'm so sorry that you had to read those words written by an obviously horribly insecure and mean person. I know that feeling of reading something so mean and then having it sit and fester in your head. "Selfish" and "ungrateful" are two of the very hardest to hear even when they're from someone who is so sick in the head (in my case, it's always from my own father). I hate that that person made you feel badly for even a second.

    You are such an amazing mom, wife and Internet friend. If anything, I think you need MORE time to yourself!

    xo

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  43. I am a better/nicer/more patient person and mama when I get a break!

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  44. Beautiful post, AP. I'm so sorry you have been getting nasty comments but I think that it's great to be open and honest And girl, you SO deserve a break!

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  45. Love, love, love this post!!! (Although I hate that someone made a dumb comment that compelled you to write it...)

    This is so true, being a mom is the toughest job that I've ever had. Mix in being 14.6 weeks pregnant and still battling on-again off-again nausea and it makes it even harder. You had every right to say what you said, I was nodding and agreeing with you when you wrote your last post. We are only human. We don't have an "S" on our chests, or a cape blowing in the wind behind us.

    You are a great mom, your kiddos are so fortunate to have you. We know you love them "more than carrots", but even the most patient mom needs a break every now and then.

    Preach on woman! You go girl! :-)

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  46. As my husband says---haters gonna hate!

    We aren't all "thug" or anything but it's really true. You are a great mom and no matter the circumstances, people deserve to bitch/complain about life if they so choose. Like you said, everyone has their hardships and you choose to share things on the blog and not share others. And you even did share hardships. People jump so quickly to judge.

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  47. As someone who is making their way through a first pregnancy (and all of the fun symptoms that go along with it), I often find myself wondering how on earth women are able to take care of another child while pregnant. I am sure that when we decide to have another child, and this little one currently growing in my belly is a toddler, I will have those days when I long for a mini-break from it all. In all honesty, I am sure there will be days when I will feel that way just taking care of this one child. It is crazy to me that anyone would judge you for such feelings or imply that such feelings make you less of a mother or ungrateful for the blessing of a child. It saddens me that there are those people out there who feel the need to put others down.

    I don't usually comment, but after reading this post I felt compelled. Love your blog and the honesty you bring to it :)

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  48. Wow, it's really sad that you have to explain yourself to this person. She must be "perfect", I guess. I can say that I have felt the exact same way that you have described. Growing humans and taking care of toddlers is hard work and it hurts and sometimes you NEED and WANT a break from all Mommy duty! And she obviously has no clue what's it's like to be a Mother...or she's just a big, fat liar!

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  49. So here's the thing ... I totally get both sides of you, as we all have them ... those moments we want to fall apart and just be - alone, in a food court or bathroom or wherever. And also those moments of prayer and thanking God for all we have (I actually didn't know that you, too, had experienced a miscarriage. It's devastating)

    All to say, I think I appreciate when people are real and talk about the moments of prayer more often ... you made mention of people not wanting to hear that, but I just wanted to say that I would respectfully disagree and say people like to hear it all! I think the Mother's Day post is funny and tongue in cheek and in no way is a statement on you as a mother. That said, please know people like hearing about the "deep" thoughts and struggles and moments of utter and pure love as much as they appreciate humor.

    Does that make sense? Just wanted to encourage you to do both - you don't always have to be funny or witty or snarky :)

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  50. Amen! Why do people insist on trying to bring others down? They must be first time readers because if they knew you at all, they would understand that your post was hilarious and truthful yet dripping with sarcasm.

    Hey you, if you don't like it, move on instead of posting hurtful comments. Or better yet, stick around, catch up and learn just who AP really is. Then maybe you'll post something positive that will make her smile.

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  51. AP--I have been going through the HARDEST time in my motherhood life recently. Yesterday I hit a breaking point, and cried for hours. I felt guilty for wanting a day--or a WEEK off from motherhood. I felt guilty because I stay at home, and feel like I am not "allowed" to complain, because I don't "work". I just want you to know, that I am in the same boat as you (pregnant w/toddler and all!) and you are not alone. I struggle sometimes on my own blog, and am afraid to be completely honest about how overwhlemed I am feeling...because I know people will read it and think I am selfish and spoiled. I admire your honesty, and am so sorry other people wrote comments that were hurtful.

    Just know I'm praying about it big time! Lots of love.

    Kendall

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  52. I just don't understand all the HATE and Jealousy that floats around blog land these days. It makes me sad, mostly because people can't support each other. Clearly you are a FABULOUS mommy. Funny, honest and genuine. I know it's difficult to not address haters like that and I would have done the SAME thing. And have before on my blog :-) But I just wanted to take the time to comment and say bravo momma!!

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  53. AMEN! We all need a break, hell a weeks worth a breaks. People who judge for that really are just covering up their own needs and wants. It feels better to bring others down. Sorry some ass took the time to rain on your parade. You rock at mothering! Keep on keeping on and don't forget to take a break.

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  54. I have had my fill lately of all the moms who want you to believe that they are blissfully raising their perfect children. I don't get the benefit of acting like your kids are always pleasant to be around and like you are never tired, frustrated, or simply depleted of patience. I have lived through years of infertility and raising 2 children I would die for at this very moment. I know what it's like to think you may never be a mom. I also know what's it's like to be around babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and school age children all day. Some days are maddening. I find it refreshing to be around moms who are honest. If we don't admit that's it's hard, we all feel like failures.

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  55. It doesn't make you any less of a mother in fact I think it makes you a better one that you can admit when you need a break. No mother enjoys her kids 100% of the time and if say they do they have to be lying!!!! I love my kids but there are days it is nice to have some alone time. I think that having me time makes me a better mother!

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  57. Ha! I don't think there is a mom in the world that hasn't needed a break. Clearly that person was in pain and lashed out at you. But just think of all the wonderful affirmation you will get from writing this blog. Plus, another bonus is sharing the story of your loss again. I read that story for the first time today which means someone else probably read it for the first time today too and that means it might have helped someone else. Luckily they lashed out at you someone who is so confident in her abilities as a mother they weren't able to beat you down! Have a great mother's day weekend! I hope you get everything you asked for! You deserve it!

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  58. You know you are an excellent mother and that's all that matters. You do not need other people's approval. And since we have the same life, I can agree with you that oh mah gosh, I need a damn break being 34 weeks pregnant with a 21 month old too! But just because I say that, does not mean I appreciate my blessings any less.

    FYI I started taking 50-75 mg of benadryl every night (with OB approval) and have been waking up much better rested!

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  59. I admire your honest and how real you are about the whole motherhood thing. Anyone who was in your shoes would have no choice but to be exhausted unless they weren't doing their job/motherhood duties right. You are a great mom and I love that you tell it how it is so that when I become a mom in the future, and go all kinds of crazy and get exhausted, I know that I'm not the only one and that I'm not a bad mom when I feel these things. Please don't let these comments get you down. You, girl, are awesome!

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  60. I can't believe some people. That makes me so sad for them. As a very long time reader I completely got what you were saying. As a new mama, and one who loves her kiddo dearly, I definitely need breaks. Judge away, but I think my kid needs breaks from me as well. I am also a working mom who enjoys working away from her baby and find that I get my sanity back at work, so when I come home I am 100% there for my husband and baby. So maybe in those judgie people's eyes I am an ungrateful mama too. Oh well...at least we are strong enough to say that we love our children, breaks from them and all;-)

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  61. Please don't let a small, angry, judgmental person get you down! I TOTALLY appreciate your honest- it keeps me sane and lets me (and other mommas out there) know that we're not alone.

    I am currently pregnant, I have a (very energetic) toddler, and I've suffered multiple loses. Yet sometimes I still need to vent and to complain. Because I'm tired and sore and trying so very hard to hold it all together. And I'm still a good mom. And so are you!

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  62. I ♥ you and your honesty more than Biscoff. That's saying a lot!

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  63. I ♥ you and your honesty more than Biscoff! That is saying a lot.

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  64. I ♥ you and your honesty more than Biscoff! That is saying a lot.

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  65. Well I won't go on and on and say what everyone else has said but I will just say--ditto to it all. I think you are an awesome mom and you are such an inspiration to me. I am so glad you wrote this post because it shows that you are confident in the mom that you are! Hugs--have a great day!

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  66. When commenting, it should go as follows: if you don't have something nice to say, DONT TYPE ANYTHING AT ALL. I thought we all learned that when we were young? Based on this post, I thought wrong.
    It confuses me why people do not understand that a blogger chooses to display whatever part of their life they wish and present it in whatever manner they wish. This isn't our full life nor our full thoughts. This is just what we want to share because of our mood/etc. And if you don't like reading it...move along! Dude....are these people serious?!

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  67. I see how they might have meant well with their comments, but I see more how it got under your skin. It got under mine as well. Sometimes people just don't realize that mommas get tired and mommas have EARNED their right to want a break. That doesn't mean we don't love our children or want to be around them as much as possible. I'm sure if they had a 24/7 job, they'd EXPECT a break. Moms don't expect a break. They just sometimes wish for one. *hugs* Try not to let people get to you. Some people just don't think before speaking.

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  68. Stupid haters! YOU are an amazing mother AP!!! C and M2 are lucky boys to have you as their mother!

    On mother's day I'm going to a restaurant and eating lunch by myself! While it may make me a loser it does not make me less of a mother!

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  69. AMEN! I read but never comment. This one got me... I've never thought once that you were ungrateful. I hate that people comment negatively towards mothers. This is some hard work and by all means.... everyone needs a break from life every now and again... mother or no mother at all!

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  70. Amen lady! I think that anyone who can admit that they need help, that this mothering stuff is NOT easy or for the faint of heart or that they need HELP should be commended and congratulated. All too much people see this through rose colored glasses which only makes those of us at our wits end feel incompetent and alone. It's so sobering to hear that other people struggle b/c, let's face it, we all do. Just some don't admit it.

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  71. God Bless you AP. I am so sorry you received those comments as you are NOT deserving of them. I enjoy reading your blog and I enjoy being your "friend" on twitter. I have never once thought you sounded ungrateful for all of your blessings. Anyone who assumes that clearly has not taken the time to get to "know" your blog. Every mother deserves the right to complain now and again. I am so sorry someone took your words and made them into something they were not.

    You are a wonderful mother.
    Hugs, friend.

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  72. Amen! Obviously a stumbler-upon to your blog. Your honesty is refreshing and hilarious. It bothers me that blogging has opened up so many people to negative comments -- yes, it is a public domain with a free speech component, but common courtesy dictates otherwise...

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  73. I love you and your honesty AP :) Keep it up woman. Cause lord knows I need to see how it's done with TWO littles before my little one shows their face! ;) hugs!!

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  74. Admitting and taking a break will make you a better mother! Love you AP!

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  75. FYI I asked for the day off from mommy duties for mothers day. Guess I'm selfish too. Ha!

    Way to squash that mean woman with this post and the overflowing support you've had in response. She really does NOT read this blog if she thinks those things of you. Boo on her and yay for you being a GREAT mother!

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  76. You're real. This troll is NOT. I have been a "loyal" to your blog before I became a Mom, and in a lot of ways reading your blog has taught me that it is OKAY to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and full of love. - All at the same time. It's your words that have helped me become a better Mom. So to the Troll - well...you know.

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  77. Well written, honest post. I haven't read the initial post, yet, but every mother needs a break once in a while. People on the internet get way too judgey. We all know you love your life and your kiddos, that's all that matters :) xo

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  78. What one does not often realize until they have little ones is that ME time is truly important for a mom to be a good mom. Whether that means catching up on uninterrupted sleep, getting your hair/nails done, a massage, girls' night out, it's good to refresh yourself. No different than when I have a rough day at the office and need to walk away for a bit or go out for an unplanned lunch to refocus and come back recharged. It does not make you any less of a mother, or any less of a worker. It truly does make you a BETTER mother. You are in tune with what you need.

    I cherish the time with my 2 1/2 year old, especially since I work all day and he's in daycare, but there are days where I just want to crawl into bed the minute I get home. Being a mom is hard. And waiting to be a mom is hard - been there done that. But sometimes you need to take a break for yourself when doing/waiting for either scenario. What's wrong with doing something nice for ourselves as moms or hoping to be moms? Or just as women?

    Thanks for sharing AP, as in general I think women have too much guilt when they ask/wish for things. We should not have to worry about someone judging us or accusing us of being selfish or ungrateful. Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  79. I know I'm not the only one, but this type of behavior in general pisses me off and here's why:

    Within 6 months, between the end of 2009 and first part of 2010, I broke my leg, had a miscarriage, my dog died unexpectedly and right after we found out that we were pregnant again, my mom died VERY unexpectedly.

    All of that f-ing sucked. But, do I go around and tell people how good they have it because none of these things have happened to them? Uh, no.

    I honestly think that people who start trouble like this have real issues in their own lives that they can't deal with very well and thus, misery loves company. Little do they realize that, they are not honoring themselves or their own situations by trying to create flaws in others.

    As someone in your shoes, a few months behind you, I feel all your pain and I am so glad you wrote this post because it makes me feel so much better. It's so good to know that there are others out there who feel the same as me. Thank you for ALL your posts, mama-friend!

    xo,
    d

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  80. Well, I don't have much too add since everyone's already beat me to it.

    You're an amazing mama, and don't let ANYone tell you differently! We all need a break sometimes. We're human. And, we damn well deserve it, too! ;)

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  81. Amen mama!!

    You shouldn't feel ashamed to say you need a break. Being a stay at home mom myself to 2 toddlers is hard & there are some days I wish/need a break from them. Doesn't mean I don't love them any less or that I'm not blessed everyday to be their mom. Your a great mom & there will always be people who will want to bring you down for something you say.

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  82. thank you for such an awesome post. it is hard. it is exhausting. being a mom is always the best and sometimes the worst part of my day. and you know who gets that?? other moms. and for those that say everything is absolutely perfect and they are never tired and they don't ever want a break ... i call b.s.

    i feel your pain, i'm 24 weeks with a 22 month old temper trantrum maniac. would i change anything. never. but do i want/need a break sometimes. hell ya.

    hang in there. and piss on mr/mrs debbie downer. :)

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  83. I agree with the comment above. I had thought the post in question was HYSTERICAL. I am not YET a mother but around LOTS of them. You are awesome - do not stop being you for any ridiculous comment from some out of no where reader! You are a joy and your family precious!

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  84. Oh Momma, bless your heart!

    I have not read through all the comments, but I am sure they say what I'm about to say now:

    I think WE as MOTHERS put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to parenting that we do NOT need anyone from the "outside" bringing it up as well. Just because we vent on our blog, FB, Twitter, Text, or even in person does not make us any LESS of a parent. AND? You know what? If we actually were "ungrateful" and "selfish" parents as a random person tries to convey, then we would not even take the time to notice what "bad" things we do to our children. We'd be paying too much attention to ourselves and not care to even write about the REALITIES of parenting!!! So, the fact that you are actually taking the time to address this nonsense rubbish makes you ONE GREAT MOMMA!!!

    Many, many kudos to you and much love and ((hugs)) all the way from Texas! Remember: we believe in the right to bear arms....do NOT mess w/ friends of mine! :P LoL!

    PS: I hope you get to end your day w/ a smile. :) :) :) xx ~Ash

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  85. Please don't take to heart any hurtful comments. Mothers do a lot - and until you are put in that position - unless you are lucky enough to have a live-in nanny, they have no idea of that daily routine. At one point or another, we've all wished for a little break from our kiddos. We are human. Those who deny it just are hiding from the truth and too embarassed to admit it. You spoke the truth - and if anyone was able to relate to it - they chuckled. Thank you for your honesty. Even though my kids are a little older -2 girls in HS and a boy in 5th grade - life is still crazy. It just becomes a different kind of crazy depending on the age of the kids. We all love our kids more than anything. You are enjoying them. And if you ask my kids - I'm sure they'd say they'd love to have a break from me too!!! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!!

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  86. I wish I had commented on your previous post when it first appeared instead of now. I would have told you how relieved I am to hear you say things that I think about often as a mother to a 1-year-old (not even a stay-at-home mother and not even a pregnant one at that). I have a major case of parent guilt when I think about needing a break or when I get frustrated when my boy refuses to take a nap or throws his food on the floor or has a tantrum. And to hear some other parent going through some of the same things was a wonderful thing.
    I would have told you that it was great to read that you are human too and that you are doing a great job and that being a SAHM is something I could never do because it is so hard. I think what you are doing is great and I get exhausted just thinking about it.
    Sorry this weirdo got you down - it is very obvious that you do not take your life and children for granted and that you are very aware of your blessings.

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  87. Girlfriend you are one hell of a mother and a wife and you look cute while doing it, YES even in your mom uniform. So everyone else can suck it. Not much has changed since high school for some women and they.are.just.jealous. and the only way to make them feel better about them selves is my putting others down. Have a thimble of wine, cheers yourself and C, and get on growing your next super cute kid.

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  88. Clearly this poor woman is so upset and bitter over her loss (rightfully so) that she comes across you and your gorgeous Carter and M2 on the way and finds you completely ungrateful for what you have been given. She made a very harsh judgment of you solely based on emotions and not facts. Hopefully someday she knows the blessing of what you are going through so she can look back and say "That bitch was right. This shit is hard."

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  89. I am a mother of two (soon to be three) girls. They are 6 and 2 and I am 23 weeks pregnant with number 3! I am also a stay at home mom and I babysit 3-5 days a week. My first wish for Mother's Day was a prenatal massage, but then after I really thought about it, I told my husband I just wanted a whole day off! I don't think it makes me a bad mom at all. And I don't think it makes you one either! I think it makes us better moms. We'll be stress free and relaxed, which will make us calmer when our dear children throw their next fit. The person who left those comments obviously doesn't have any children or maybe they're just delusional. Who knows!

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  90. I know you like to say you word vomit when you blog, but this lady has truly word vomited.

    Loss is never a reason to look down on other people and say hurtful things. Right now she may think you dont know how lucky you have it, but Ill be she never stoped to think of how down right hard it can be sometimes to be a Momma. You have EVERY right to complain, and as I read that list I couldnt help but agree with most of your wishes!! I love my bean with every fiber of my being, but the nights when he refuses to fall asleep or wakes up at 4 am thinking its time to play- I would pay money for a full, un-interrupted nights sleep.

    I read this blog daily because of your honesty, and would never once judge you for it.

    If youre reading this and you feel the need to make a nasty comment, before hiding behind the annonymous tag just kindly click the red X in the corner and never return.

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  91. I just adore you! So much. I applaud your honesty, your transparency and that you blog about REAL LIFE. I'm not a mom and I'm still trying to figure out how to be a wife but especially in this stage in life when becoming a mother is "the next step", I appreciate blogs like yours. Plus, this is your space. You can do whatever the hell you want. Plus, I think that you are a wonderful mother. And Carter is a happy child. You can see it in his eyes. That alone says it all.

    Sending you a virtual hug, a virtual glass of wine and lots of love.

    Those negative nancy's can put a stick in it. No avocado for them.

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  92. I thought your post was awesome and I was nodding along with every single item. It is clear you love your kid(s) and it is clear you are a great mom. The fact that you admit to needing a break (and maybe some wine) now and then only makes me like you more.

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  93. You rock!
    I thought the honesty of your post was amazing!

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  94. When I read your post the other day, I thought, "Wow. She probably needs a break!" And then I wished for my own... even though I'm not at the "can't sleep through the night" stage in this pregnancy.. it's still the most exhausting thing ever to have a toddler and be pregnant. I've heard from EVERYBODY that I've talked to that Baby #2's pregnancy is the hardest. I really wish that people would grow a freaking brain and realize that everybody needs a break from EVERYTHING that they do. That it's completely natural to want/need/crave alone time... Ah, I hope you get it soon... =)

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  95. uhm, yeah, they're completely ridiculous! Of course you need a break, children are exhausting! AND you're pregnant and should be resting anyways, right? I've never been pregnant, but that's the word on the street anyhow...

    But seriously, I'm certain that you're doing a brilliant job as a mother, and by taking breaks, you're modeling positive mental health for your babies.

    You go girl!

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  96. I cannot stand people like that. Do they never complain about anything? A bad day? Be thankful you're alive. A job that sucks? Be thankful you have a job. You could go on forever, but ultimately WE ARE HUMAN, we complain, we are allowed to complain, and unless it's incessant and, well just plain miserable, then complain away, my friend! If those people came to my blog to read MY pregnancy posts? Dear god, they'd probably show up at my doorstep ready to punch me in the face.

    I hate that you even had to write this post and clarify that you love being a mother and love your sweet little boy.

    Keep on keepin' it real, Mama.

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  97. I cannot stand people like that. Do they never complain about anything? A bad day? Be thankful you're alive. A job that sucks? Be thankful you have a job. You could go on forever, but ultimately WE ARE HUMAN, we complain, we are allowed to complain, and unless it's incessant and, well just plain miserable, then complain away, my friend! If those people came to my blog to read MY pregnancy posts? Dear god, they'd probably show up at my doorstep ready to punch me in the face.

    I hate that you even had to write this post and clarify that you love being a mother and love your sweet little boy.

    Keep on keepin' it real, Mama.

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  98. Amen! You're a wonderful mother. Any of your "Loyals" will be able to tell that person that. All mothers need a break, and if they feel they don't, then good on them but don't judge us for being human and ADMITTING that we need a break. I 100% admit I could never be a full time SAHM. I enjoy working as an RN and being a SAHM part-time. BUT, when I am in SAHM mode like I am right now...ask me in a few weeks if I want to throw MY Toddler off the deck. I'll probably answer yes. Does it mean I will? Of COURSE NOT, it's just a figure of speech and I too thank God every day for him in my life as well as for my 15 week old fetus that is a cooking. It is HARD WORK being a pregnant mom chasing around a toddler, trust me - I hear you. Just because someone suffered a loss, does not give them the right to judge us for their opinion of us "not being thankful" for our blessings. The only one who can judge is his Him. Period. If that person does have children, I dare them to go every.single.day of their life without complain EVER about the joys of motherhood. Double dog dare her.

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  99. I think it's really unfair that mothers want to put other mothers down. I find it extremely hard to believe that any mother out there has never had similar thoughts of frustration. It's just part of being a mom. That doesn't mean you love your kids any less, it doesn't mean you're any less thankful, etc. it means you're being honest. And being honest about these things goes a long way in making all of use feel like it's normal to feel stressed because this Motherhood thing? It's HARD! That doesn't mean it's not also great, but it's a mixed bag and some days are better than others and I think it's totally appropriate to sometimes say, "I NEED A BREAK!".

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  100. I love this post. People are so quick to judge other. There is nothing wrong with needing a break. Kids are tough. I don't have any but worked in a daycare (primarily with infants then with 2 year olds). I have so much respect for parents, especially those moms and dads who stay home all day. 8 hours was enough for me...the last thing I wanted to do was take one of those children home with me for the remaining 16 hours of my day.

    You are an amazing mother. C and Baby #2 are so lucky to have you as a mom :)

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  101. Anyone who judged you for your post either A isn't a mother, or B isn't being honest to herself as a mother. I appreciate your raw honesty on your blog. It means you're REAL, and I couldn't be happier to be reading your blog!

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  102. I think appreciating what you have but wanting a break here and there is totally normal. When I read your post I didn't feel like you were ungrateful or selfish at all. Just honest.

    However, I do kind of feel bad for the troll. She is probably struggling with infertility and wants a child her own. Which is so devastating and brings up so much ridiculous envy. She's jealous of what you have and thinks that you don't appreciate two healthy babies you have because she perceives you are complaining. But her insanity and envy doesn't make her right. It just makes her sad.

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  103. Amen sister! As a working mother, I sometimes don't know how in the world you SAHMs do it. When I have multiple days off in a row with my toddler, I find myself exhausted after chasing my son around more than I normally do on a weekday.

    Seriously. I always say I think daycare workers/teachers don't get paid enough for the crap they put up with. So staying at home is HARD.

    With that being said, I love your humor because I can so relate. And just because I see my kid less because I have a full time job doesn't make me less of a mother either. So take that HATERS! And because I see less of my son doesn't mean that I don't COMPLETELY relate in so many ways. Our boys are so close in age that I just can't help it! Almost 21 months, an as ornery as ever!

    Keep calm and carry on, cause they can suck it.

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  104. I echo what everyone else said and AMEN.

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  105. So I just found your blog this week, but seriously I can't believe any one would write those things!!! (Or anyone that stays at home with little children)

    I think that any good mama needs a break, and you know we all dream of a little time away-it's just healthy.

    From just reading a short time, you are an amazing mom and should be commended for caring, loving, and nurturing your child.

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  106. I believe you gave me the "don't address the haters" speech a few weeks ago via email after I whined about my trolly troll....with that said...I'm glad you addressed her. :) ha. Because I reeeeeally want to address mine, so all the faithful friends I've made can stand up for me and stuff--and one day, when I get the guts maybe I will, until then I'll live vicariously through you. :) on a real note, sorry you had to deal with this. You KNOW I can relate to being called those things and also having my kid be called names (balls people!)--and it sucks. Hope you feel better after this post! Us moms all need and deserve a break. Truth!

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  107. No matter if someone has experienced loss of a child or not, it doesn't give them the right to make you feel bad for wanting a break. I know multiple women have already said this in previous comments, but it is perfectly healthy and smart of you to take a break from your toddler. It definitely makes me a better mom when I take breaks. Being very pregnant with #2 and trying to entertain my toddler at home every day is exhausting, I can totally relate to what you're going through. When we think it's selfish to take a break and wind up building up all that stress and exhaustion, we would probably do things that we would later regret.

    Take all the breaks you need. No one should judge you for it.

    Love your blog!!

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  108. As my mother would say, "The nerve of some people!" Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, especially when expressed so honestly (and hilariously) as you do here in this space. After all it is your space, your own little corner of the internet, and I would never ever want your thoughts to be censored because someone is feeling badly enough about themselves that they take it out on you. I say, Blog on and forget the haters!
    (I've never commented before, but you may know me as ladykatie32 on Instagram. I'm a big fan! :)

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  109. We all need a break. Honestly kids are exhausting and have so much energy. I call it a good day if I can go anywhere alone (including the bathroom) because being a SAHM means you never leave your job.

    It's on 24/7 because the kids ask you for everything even if their dad is sitting next to them on the couch and you are trying to hide on the computer in the basement.

    I joke with my first-time mom friends because they never want to leave their sweet little babies and I'm all I need to get away from my kids (6 and 2). Does that mean we love them any less. NO! It just means you need some time to yourself when there isn't a little person touching, grabbing, drooling, hanging on you all the time.

    You are being honest and there will always be people out there ready to knock you down.

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  110. The war on mothers needs to end... I saw someone in the comments mention seeing the world through "Miscarraige glasses" and I can understand that. I see the world through infertility and m/c glasses. However, that is NO excuse for being ignorant and just plain MEAN. When I read posts like the one that sparked the anon comments, I say to myself "oh wow, this shit is funny AND I am SO going to remember this when and if I am ever blessed to celebrate my own day as a mother". I worry about this. As someone who has had over three years of trying to become a mother, I have had a lot of time to ponder whether I really WANT to be a mother. Especially when toddler nephew shits his pants for the fourth time that day. Potty training FAIL! I worry that I will have had so much heartache over trying to become a mother that one day when it finally happens I will feel unjust in wanting a day...week... away from my kid. I will feel judged, I know I will. But, hopefully I will think back and remember this post and posts like it and all of the comments that go along with them saying WE ALL NEED A BREAK.

    So, thank you AP. Honesty is almost always the best. ;-) Thank you for making the sacrifice of the nasty comments in order for the rest of the women that read the post to be able to relate to you and know that what they're feeling is in fact, okay.

    Also, I would like to second one of the commenters that said they like the more raw posts also. I do! I love your funny side, but knowing you're human is such an awesome trait to see as a reader.

    Um, novel for a comment, huh? <3

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  111. I just read this post and wanted to say that you are such a wonderful mom and wife! A break every now and then only makes you a better mom and wife and whoever says otherwise is just crazy. Thank you for being honest, it is what makes you so relatable and makes us mom's that have never met you feel like we are friends! Carter is so lucky to have you, as well as baby #2 and I hope you do get at least one of your list items for mother's day :)

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  112. Love your blog. Love your parenting style. Love your humor. And love that you are REAL!! Who ever this 'you' who commented is probably one of those people who say 'my husband and I never fight'. BULL SHIT. Everyone has disagreements. So you go Mama! Do your thing... and be sure and take breaks when you need to. You Need them, C needs them and YOU DESERVE them!! xoxo

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  113. Amen! Hatters going hate.Every mama deserves a break! I love how real you keep it! Keep doing what you do AP, You rock!

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  114. I'm not a mom, but I just wanted to say, if you need a break, then GO FOR IT! Everyone has stressful times in life where they need a break to recharge and relax. Someday, when I'm a mom? I'm sure I will want an hour off, a night off, and sometimes a whole week off. Nothing wrong with taking some time for YOU so that you can keep being the best mom you can be.

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  115. Awww hell no. I'm so far behind on this, but even still, that gets my blood boiling. I'm not even a mother, but I know good and well that you are one of the best Mommas out there. I hope that one day, if I ever have kids, that I'm half the momma you are. C and M2 are SO BLESSED to have YOU as a momma. Don't you ever let mean, hurtful people like them get you down...I agree with every word in this post. I am SO proud of you for holding your head high. Keep it up, missy. Love you long time.

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  116. very well said, mama!!! People need to get a grip....especially the cowards who hide behind their comments.

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  117. Just reading this. Very well said and I applaud you for responding to all the jerks out there!!

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  118. I am like years behind on reading posts, but hunny - I would judge you if you didn't need a break. Scratch that, I would call you a "fibber" if you said that all day, every day was sunshine and roses. From my limited (but personal) experience, toddlers are the most trying little human beings there are! They love to test our patience and their boundaries and it is crazy exhausting! You are blessed, you know it, thanks for also letting us know that you are human.

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As always, thanks so much for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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