Monday, May 7, 2012

10 Things I Want For Mother's Day

Don't be dismayed, dear Loyals. I would never pass up a diamond or some other shiny bauble, a vacation or a full day at the spa, but let's discuss what I really want for Mother's Day this year... And no, it's not a new door.


1. Sleep. Real, tried and true, out-like-the-dead sleep. The kind that only comes with Ambien, a glass (or several) of wine and a padded room. Sadly, in my current pregnant state, Ambien and wine are off limits, so I'll take the guest room, sans baby monitor, instead. 


2. My weight in ice pops. I don't know what it is about this pregnancy but I can demolish a box of sugar-free Tropical ice pops like they're going out of style. Each night I lay on the couch with at least four of them within arm's reach and within minutes I cannot be held responsible for how quickly they were devoured. Did I say four? I meant six.


3. A vacation. Not just any vacation. A vacation from my Toddler. There, I said it. Call CPS but Mama needs a break. If it weren't for the sudden termite issue and, well, my current human-growing ability, I would have demanded somewhere warm and tropical. At this rate? I'll take a few uninterrupted hours at the Mall Food Court where I can indulge in a milkshake, Five Guys and a cinnamon pretzel all without having to venture very far. 


4. A tummy tuck. After indulging in said ice pops, milk shakes, Five Guys and cinnamon pretzels and birthing what will likely be another giant baby come June, I fear I may desperately need one of these. 


5. A "Get-Out-Of-Bedtime-Free" card. In my whiniest of voices, "Pleeeeeeease don't make me do another bedtime! I just don't wanna!" 


6. A pool. Like, tomorrow. 


7. Tickets to see Newsies on Broadway. I know, I know. This one isn't nearly as funny but I really do want to see this show and I'd like to see it before I have to worry about major abdominal surgery, engorgement, pumping/feeding, fitting my post-baby, fat-ass into respectable clothing... balancing life with two children, etc. 


8, 9 and 10. Wine. And lot's of it. And while we're at it? A TV in the bedroom. And no sex for, like, the rest of my life. Because that leads to things like pregnancy and babies. Christian Grey, you can go suck it


It's not really too much to ask for, right? So, Loyal Mamas out there: What do YOU want for Mother's Day?


34 comments :

  1. I second a tummy tuck -- for myself please and thanks. LOL ;)

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  2. I'm with ya on the Get Out Of Bedtime. Some nights I just don't wwwwwwaaaaannnnnaaaaa.

    For real though, I want a day at the spa - mani/pedi/facial/massage and by myself. Allllll day. :)

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  3. Can I just say you made me feel better for asking for Mother's day "off" from mommying. Haha. I told the hubs I'd love to share breakfast and dinner with him and the babe but I wanted the day off!

    I'd say you've got a prett good list going!

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  4. HA HA HA HA!!!!! Always entertaining! Always! I can't decide which is my favorite...8\9\10 made me laugh the hardest...and I agree on bedtime. I love to do it because I"m a sentimental mush, but wouldn't it be nice to just lay on the couch like L does from dinner on?!?!?! I might have to compile my own list! ;)

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  5. I requested a Shark mop, jogging stroller, and/or patio furniture. I third the tummy tuck though, but only after I'm finished having kiddos. I would also dearly love a vacation since the Air Force is ruining the whole cruise that was paid for! Anyway, you deserve a break. Hope your Mother's Day is perfect. :)

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  6. Seems to me you deserve all that and more!

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  7. I'm with you on the tummy tuck...I feel like I can get everything else tightend w/ working out, but my stomach will never go back.

    Also...I second you on the vacation w/out children...When I do have the chance I try to get out of the house w/out the kids...even if it's to the grocery store. It's glorious when you can do it alone.

    I'd be happy to have the afternoon to just sit on the beach...and not run after tiny people.

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  8. I love this post!

    I'm not a mom but I would like to indulge in your afternoon at the mall food court, only I'd switch out a milkshake for a DQ blizzard!
    Yumm......

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  9. Oh AP my love for u grows!! I am a newsies freak!!

    Is it bad that M got me an iphone for mother's day but all i really want is a day to myself and some bridier baubles?

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  10. Hahaha i love all of these! And I need a break from my toddler sized (Yes, he's 25 lbs and 31 in) 8 month old.. I sent text pleas to my husband last week begging him to take me anywhere!!! I think it's only natural right?!

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  11. a day of shopping, sans baby, cause it would be nice to just wander and browse for a change!

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  12. Oh, girl, I love it. You never cease to give me a chuckle. But in all seriousness, I hope you get all of it! ;) I mean, you are being pretty realistic!

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  13. hahaha! love it! Lots of these are definitely on my list, too!!

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  14. Once again I am dying.

    I don't just want, I NEED a tropical vacation. I NEED a week of sleep. I NEED a new Louis.

    lol

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  15. I would like my 3rd baby to GET OUT OF MY BELLY for Mother's day! Actually...I don't want her to wait that long. I was ready last week...38 weeks pregnant, I am just done. But she would make a pretty cool Mother's day gift :-)

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  16. HA! I've already told the Mister that if he ever wants to have sex again, he'll have to get snipped after baby #2. Pregnancy is for the birds.

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  17. I like the "get out of bedtime free" card! I want THAT! And a vacation, day at the spa (or WEEK), and to be skinny again. And I would love a glass of wine too. But the last two wont happen for me either since I'm also prego. Love this!

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  18. Hahaha- way to keep it real girl!

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  19. a tummy tuck yes please!!! sleep yeah a full nights sleep would be nice :)

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  20. Ok, for reals right now. I laughed out loud at this! Specially at the last one. Husband just kind of looked at me like I was nuts. He isn't aware of my Christian Grey overindulgence yet....I'll fill him in one day. :-)

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  21. Hahahah, I love that your last THREE were wine. My kinda girl ;)

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  22. A vacation sounds good to me!! Great list!! xo

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  23. I just love this post! I def need a break from my toddler lately too. Love her dearly but she doesn't stop talking!!

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  24. This list made me laugh and smile! You are too cute! ;) Happy Mother's Day, early! xo

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  25. Ummm I'm with you on the toddler break. Just one weekend. And it can also be a break from the hubs. That would be okay too ;)

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  26. all of these brought a smile to my face. Two years ago, before I got pregnant, I never really "got" this. But now, as a mother to an 8 month old- I TOTALLY get all of them.

    My husband keeps asking me "what do you want for mother's day?" and I honestly don't know. Granted, I would love a nice new piece of jewelry or something, but what I REALLY want- is pretty close to your list here. I should email him this blog post to give him a hint.

    Especially the "all day vacation from being mom" Or sleeping in. God, how I would LOVE to sleep in until 10 AM just once. LOL

    and yes, on the tummy tuck. my stomach is forever poochy now. My weight is lower than it was pre-pregnancy, but my gut is forever there. Gah!

    Your blog cracks me up!

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  27. Wow, I want every single one of these, too. Even the Newsies tickets (uh, it's a CLASSIC!).

    I've requested the ability to sleep in. Guilt-free sleeping in. Get the toddler out of the house if that's what it takes. I haven't slept past, oh, 7 in like two years.

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  28. I want a maid to come in and clean my house while I sip a passion fruit smoothie on the couch. Ooh and a steam cleaner. Oh, the irony.

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  29. I had to get 4 new tires last week...his response? happy mother's day

    umm isn't that more of a father's day thingy?

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  30. Your list looks good to me! A vacation toddler free is #1 on my list. Along with a watch- I need one!

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