Fear no more, Loyals - I'm Melissa from I Pick Pretty, and I'm here to help. I'm a wife, stay-at-home-mom to my darling 1.5 year old boy, retired lawyer, and non-retired smartass, which obviously makes me qualified to give you life advice. Obviously.
(Let's just pretend I'm not completely terrified to do this guest post for AP, one of my blogging sister wives and all-around star, and you eleventy billion fellow fangirls who also adore her. Breathing, breathing . . .)
Anywhooo, my Facebook feed has been buzzing lately with this gem for us stay-at-home-moms, based on this article - the sort that has you nodding your head furiously as you
And I'd thought the insults I got about being a lawyer were bad. This isn't to say SAHMs get the worst of it - I imagine all of us parents, whether we work outside of the house or not, get some howlers - but I can personally attest to being asked most of these, the "What do you DO all day, anyway?" and "Oh, so you don't work?" ones a regular, regularly irritating basis.
Here's where I got crafty, not in that awesome, Martha Stewart style sense that our AP impresses us with regularly, but in the revenge sense - I've devised a cheat sheet of responses for the "10 Things" list above. I've listed these in numerical order of response, though these can apply to a number of idiotic questions, number 9 being a standby here. All you need for my "craft" here is (1) pair of scissors and (1) tape, to cut the following out & affix to the inside of your diaper bag for heat-of-the-moment reference; (1) icy, withering glare is helpful when delivering these too:
Voila! Remember that, like most favorite dishes, these are best served warm with a side of sarcasm.
What's the dumbest question you've been asked about your job? Any parenting whoppers you want to add here?
(Thank you, AP, for the chance to spotlight here while you're getting your Blissdom prep on - if I weren't such a prude, I'd offer you an open-mouthed smooch of gratitude. xoxo)
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As a fellow oft quip-y and slightly snarky mom myself, this post is hands down one of my all-time favorites. I cannot thank THE smug-est of all smug mommies, Melissa, for continuing to snark and sass the heck out of this tiny slice of the internet. It's clearly evident why she is one of my forever favorite bloggers, no? Now, if she and the Wee CEO could just permanently relocate to, say, Maryland for the rest of their lives, my life would be complete. Ah, and I guess Anonymous Husband could come too?