Thursday, February 9, 2012

How Did I Get Here? And WHY Are You Finger Painting With Egg Yolks?

Some days, I just need to pee in peace. And Tuesday happened to be one of them. You want to know what happens in the two and a half minutes it takes for me to pee in peace? Oh, Loyals, I shall tell you. 

Carter had just finished throwing a delicious breakfast on the floor of tangerines, raisins and scrambled cheesy eggs. I quickly wiped him down, helped him to climb down from his high chair and turned "George" (Curious George) on the TV, hoping to quell any desire of his to get into anything while off I ran into the little girl's room. I watched as he took a seat on the couch, nibbling on some fingers, intent on watching whatever antics that silly little monkey would get into today.

Shame on me, Loyals. Shame on me. You would think by now I would know better. 

While in the bathroom, not only did I hear a loud "thud" but I then heard nearly 8 successive miniature "thuds" followed by ecstatic shrieks and laughs. 

Upon leaving the bathroom, to what to did my startling eye did appear? Oh, just The Toddler crouched on the mat in the kitchen, finger painting with the dozen (take away three for breakfast) eggs that his Go-Go-Gadget arms pulled from atop the counter. 

Finger painting. With four thick, gooey, dear-god-they-could-be-salmonella-laden yolks. All over my kitchen mat. 

Three of the other lone soldier eggs were cracked and beginning to leak all over the natural wood floor. Only two eggs were salvageable.

And that's when it hit me. How did I get here? 

Standing in my kitchen, twenty and a half weeks pregnant with baby number two, wearing three year old JCrew Christmas pajama pants, my hair twisted into an unruly mom-knot, sporting (not proudly) one of Husband's old T-shirts fitting tightly around my belly, watching my 18 month old fingerpaint with EGG YOLKS on the kitchen floor. 

Loyals, I used to save lives. Now? I'm barely managing to keep my sanity in check and my toddler from escaping through the front door sans pants. 

Life is a funny, funny thing, I tell you.


23 comments :

  1. Oh boy do you have your hands full. :) Good thing he is so stinkin cute! :)

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  2. Oh, honey, you STILL save lives! I mean, you washed his hands, right? ;)

    Wise women with grown children have told me not to let these parts of our non-perfect days beat us down...because finger-painting with egg yolks on the floor is exactly the sort of thing you're going to look back on FONDLY when they go off to college.

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. I wonder if I can turn Kitty into one of those weird homeschoolers who doesn't go to college and lives at home with her parents FOREVER? Cuz part of me would REALLY like that :)

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  3. Oh Carter!! I swear, you turn your back on them for a second and they do something like this! I want to know though......where was Sheepie during all of this?!? I'm just glad ge didn't eat the eggs!!!!!!

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  4. Love this post and can relate on so many levels!

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  5. Oh my gosh- this just affirms my thoughts of him and Kelsey being perfect for each other because girlfriend pulled the ENTIRE half gallon of milk onto the floor and painted the kitchen with it while I had some...err tummy troubles :/ these kids I tell ya!!

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  6. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! This is too funny! I can't believe they are big enough to get things off the counter now. The other day, it was Easton and the razor in the bathroom. I look down and he's saying 'shace' (face) and sliding the razor down his face like daddy!!!! OH MY HEART! Just shoot me now!!!!!

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  7. Oh my goodness! Sounds like Carter was inspired by Curious George! I have days where I question my sanity too, like when Emily figured out lever door handles, and took a toilet brush for a run around the house a few days ago.

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  8. That's all we ever want...our needs are simple...just to go to the bathroom in peace. That doesn't happen in our household either. The other day S actually was trying to shove a toy between my legs to get it into the toilet.

    I also think I need to retire some of my 4 year old VS pajama pants. Are 26 year olds allowed to wear pajama pants like that still?

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  9. Hahahaha! Oh my word, I am picturing this right now and that little boy cracks me up. I know all you can do is laugh, to keep from crying sometimes!! And I love your verbage, makes it even funnier!!

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  10. I feel ya. I had to run out to get something quickly the other day. I went out in yoga pants with a whole in the back...two day old sweatpants...no make-up...hair kinda in a bun and one of M's clippies in my hair. I thought the same thing "who have I become"??!? I used to wear make-up to the gym! We'll get back to our former selves soon right?!?

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  11. Don't you know, you DO save lives. I mean imagine what Carter would've done had you taken a 3 minute potty break :)

    Days like that are tough, but you got this mama! Hope today goes smoothly and no eggs are taken hostage by the little man of the house!

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  12. Amen sister, I often look up from my life and wonder how in the world I got here. How bizarre is motherhood?!

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  13. Honestly, AP, there are no words! Next year it will be 2 dozen eggs and 20 little boy fingers! ;)

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  14. It can all seem a bit surreal at times! How did we become parents? And who thought that was a good idea to trust us with these little ones??? LOL There is just so much fun and frustration all rolled into one. It is crazy!!!

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  15. Thanks for making my life seem perfectly normal...as usual!

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  16. If it makes you feel any better, they've found that virtually all cases of salmonella come from produce and poultry meat, not from eggs. ;-)

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  17. Not to laugh, but that story is pretty funny. I can just imagine little Carter on the floor playing with eggs. I give you SO much credit!

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  18. This post is super cute and funny! He is a mess!

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  19. What a mess but I'm sure something that you will look back and laugh about...and go go gadget hands...you crack me up.

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  20. oh my goodness! I couldn't help but laugh at this post!

    xoxo.

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  21. Ooooh this is SO TRUE! Especially about Christmas pants! I always find myself wearing my old Christmas fleece pants. They are just so warm and comfortable!

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