Loyals, I am 28 years old and to this day I still remind my mother that she never bought me that godforsaken doll. Perhaps I am still waiting for it to show up under the tree one year? Let's be real. As a child, I did not go without. Instead of that creepy doll head I was given kitchen sets, easels, motorized cars and any piece of clothing a girl could have ever wanted. But there was something about that doll.
Since Carter wouldn't find nearly as much joy in the Barbie Styling Head as I would prefer, I figured I would get him the next best thing.
A ball pit. A giant blow up ball pit. Because once again, Loyals, how cool would it have been to have had one of those growing up?
Shortly before Carter's first birthday I went out in search of the best deal. I came across this ball pit and immediately decided it would be The One.
Not only did I purchase the ball pit but upon further inspection, I noted that it only came with 24 balls. Now, Loyals. In hindsight, I clearly understand why a ball pit would only come with 24 measly balls. But at the time? In my moment of sheer motherly weakness, I thought to myself, "BALL PITS ARE NOT COOL UNLESS THEY COME WITH AT LEAST FIFTY BALLS."
So? I bought 25 extra balls. Worst move of my life, Loyals. Worst move.
If only I had known that I would spend roughly 17 minutes of every single day corralling said forty-nine balls and throwing them back into the pit? I think the initial 24 balls would have sufficed. Been more than enough, actually.
17 minutes every day. That's 119 minutes every week. Which translates into roughly 6,188 minutes per year. Picking up fu*&ing plastic balls.
Because what is Carter's favorite activity? Oh, only running around the playroom, diving headfirst into the Super Awesome I-Have-The-Best-Mom-Ever Ball Pit and throwing every. single. ball. from it.
So, Moms. Aunts. Sisters. Whatever your kid-friendly relation may be, the next time you have a hunch to run out and buy your kid a ball pit? Think about those 6,188 minutes. That's my friendly PSA for the day.
And if by chance you suffer the same lapse in judgement as did I, well then, you only have yourself to blame. Say goodbye to your sanity.
Happy Friday, Loyals. Have a great weekend! We've already arrived in Hometown, New Jersey and in less than 48 hours I'll be getting my "10 Year High School Reunion" on. Don't worry, IHA. I don't think it will become blog-worthy and if it does, I'll be kind enough to change your names.
I'm kidding! Maybe.