Monday, October 3, 2011

"Mom, These Sleeves Are KILLING Me!"

It's true. If you were a fly on the wall or a passerby mid Friday afternoon of last week, you would have thought I was torturing my child. The telltale screams and shrieks surely would have given away the secret torture chamber full of whips and chains that I work so hard to conceal every day way out here in the suburbs of New Jersey. 

And I guess in a way I was torturing him. If by "torture" you mean I was being Responsible Mommy and attempted to dress him appropriately for the cooler weather we've been having. In long sleeves.

Not just any long sleeves, mind you. A super cute and adorable striped long sleeve T from JCrew's Crewcuts, might I add. 

As if it wasn't difficult enough to pass the shirt over his head, what with the back arching and Crazy Wildman Toddler dance happening, once the shirt was on, arms through the sleeves, it was as if I had dipped the child in molten lava and tied him to a chair using a rope made from metal spikes. 

Keep in mind he is still pants-less because heaven forbid I attempt to put his pants on after clearly forcing him against his will to wear long sleeves. 

Oh, it was the meltdown of all meltdowns. There was even more back arching and screaming. And then? The Limp Noodle Move causing him to fall to the floor in a fit of Toddler Rage. Furiously shaking his head and rubbing his face in the carpet. Kicking his legs and more screaming. There may have even been a few tears shed. 

Umm. Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on? All because I made him put on long sleeves? Holy crap. I can't wait to see what he does when he's 4 and I tell him he needs to keep his peenie in his pants. Or when he's 17 and once again, I'm telling him he needs to keep his peenie in his pants. 

These were sleeves! Long 100% cotton, overpriced but ridiculously cute sleeves. 

I have a feeling I'm totally going to be That Mother walking around Target in the dead of winter with a child who is wearing half a Halloween costume and his bathing suit trunks. Please don't laugh at me, okay? 

Just remember this is why I drink. And so I learn which battles to pick and which battles to just sit back and laugh at. 

Oh, Motherhood. You sly fox you.




24 comments :

  1. Kendall has been having issues with sleeves, pants, socks, hair bows, you name it. I swear I think I'm raising a nudist.

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  2. OH MY GOSH, I thought we were the only ones. We had the meltdown of meltdowns this weekend too. And you guessed it. All over long sleeves.

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  3. Kitty just stares at her sleeve-covered arms and sock-covered feet in disbelief. She saves her Exorcist-type meltdown for HEAD HOLES. Oh, the humanity!

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  4. I am suffering through the same thing... but it's with him wearing anything with a collar or jeans. My son prefers to dress like an unemployed 40 year old who lives in his mother's basement.

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  5. That is too funny. Babies do go through a naked phase right? Maybe this is it for you! Oh well, you have a little time to get him adjusted before winter hits haha. Good luck!

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  6. Hilarious!! Grayson is beginning those awful tantrums. He pitches a FIT when I won't give him a sip of my coffee.I mean, for real, a 1 year old crying over coffee. Ridiculous.

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  7. E freaked out hardCORE with sleeves last week. And if I put anything like a hoodie on top her clothes, etc, with a zipper, it MUST be zipped or else she can flail it off. They're so used to summer clothes. Poor babies.

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  8. My favorite part.....when he's 4 and I tell him to keep his peenie in his pants... And when he's 17.... Hahahs

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  9. You are not alone...we are going through the exact same thing. Cole's room is the torture chamber I swear...anytime I try to get him dressed it's a fight. I want him to wear pants, he wants shorts. I put out long sleeved shirts, he tries to wear a t-shirt. The joys!!!

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  10. LOL! Peebs was OK with sleevs but not too thrilled with the shoes! We went barefoot all summer so when I put shoes on his feet during this cold spell he was all. WTH mom?

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  11. Baby J threw the SAME fit this morning when I tried to put pants and long sleeves on him. We never made it to socks because I couldn't take the screaming! What a wonderful Monday, right?

    I hope C listens better when you tell him to keep his peenie in his pants lol :)

    And yes, this is definitely the reasons moms drink!

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  12. You're too funny! I have the same exact battle, except every.single.day! when I'm attempting to dress Giada or heaven forbid change her diaper. Oh the meltdown! They are beyond belief.

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  13. My SIL is that mom at Target with a 4yr old wearing his too small spider man costume (in Sept, from last Oct) and a sword from his upcoming costume.

    Presley 10months. Hates being dressed. It's getting worse by the week. Lord help us when we hit 1+

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  14. Oh man. The things I have to look forward to. Let's face it, maybe we should just all be naked?:-)

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  15. Wish I could have been that fly on the wall :)

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  16. I am literally laughing out loud! Now I have a bit of an idea as to why I saw my neighbors kid running around in his sisters tutu, cowboy boots and a basketball jersey yesterday. ☺ Ah, I have so much to look forward to when I become a Mommy!

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  17. Oh, I could have written this post too! Tommy's issue is not the sleeves, but just getting dressed in general lately. And his issue is more with SHOES for some reason on certain days. He doesn't understand that the sandals and flip flops are done for the year. And now he's always lifting his shirt and bearing his belly in public. Too funny!

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  18. HAHAHAHA!!!! I'm dying laughing over here...that's hilarious. We've entered the meltdown stage over here too..the other day it was over ice cream. Zoe doesn't seem to mind long sleeves, but it's literally taken me 14 months to get shoes on that girls feet...she HATES them

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  19. OMG, I’m dying. It’s official. I can’t read your blog at my office anymore. I just snorted my coffee again and I’m guessing my coworkers think I’m bananas. You’re hilarious in the best way!!!

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  20. Haha. That's hysterical. Thank you for sharing. :)

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  21. And this is why I will always be a loyal Ash- because when I am having one of the crumiest days- you will inevitably post something ridiculously awesome that makes me laugh til I cry and then magically- it's better! Thanks mama!! (and good luck keeping C's Peenie in his pants- I hear that once lil dudes are potty trained that makes it difficult to contain it!) xoxox

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  22. I can so relate to this meltdown, right down to the Limp Noodle move. In my house the epic battle du jour is over diaper changing, but my guess is that we mothers of boys all end up fighting the same "peenie in the pants" war eventually. Sigh.

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  23. The first cool day when I put Jamie in long sleeves, he kinda looked at me, then looked at his shirt...like WTF are these things?!? Thankfully (for once these days) it didn't result in a meltdown!

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  24. You gotta do what you gotta do!! haha xo

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