Monday, October 17, 2011

Parenting and Hangovers Do Not Mix.

Disclaimer: After a few comments, I felt the need to reign in the sass and be clear. The Poor Parental Decisions that were made in no way put Carter in harm's way. The Decisions in question were made on Saturday night, to which The Husband promptly stepped up to the plate Sunday morning and eagerly tossed on his Mr. Mom Hat. Carter's clothes matched, meals were fed and there was only one slight mishap involving Carter's near brush with death and the dishwasher. All the while Mommy rested peacefully on the bathroom floor in her bed. Today I am parenting in my usually tip-top shape this fine Monday morning. Although still lacking an appetite, which I've noted has been good for a little tiny extra weight loss. But, I digress. 


Parenting, itself, is hard enough. Throw a hangover into the mix and it's damn near impossible. 


Loyals, I am not nearly as cool as I once was. Given that fact, I also do not have nearly the same tolerance for drinking as I once did. I am choosing to write of this godforsaken day that involved Poor Parental Decision Making mostly because if the feeling ever strikes again to hang out with our new Really Cool Parent Friends, I will have something to quickly refer to that will freshen my memory and have me choosing seltzer over a Stella any day. 


Tiny humans make any hangover approximately 150 billion times worse. That pounding in your head? Magnified greatly by the constant whining and "mom! mom! mom!" 


Those waves of nausea that seem to slap you across the face every 7 minutes? Only made more intense by having to change the tiny human's diaper. 


And if you think that your tiny human would love to lay with Mommy on the nice, cold tile of the bathroom floor, you are wrong. They will not enjoy it nearly as much as you do and all they'll want to do is stick their hands in the toilet while you're trying to dry heave and sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. 


Loyals, I am not proud of my behavior this weekend. In fact, I am grounding myself. There will be no imbibing in the hair of the dog this week, regardless of how many 4:07pm Meltdowns there may be in my future. As it is, if I let myself think about it long enough, the room is still spinning just a teeny, tiny bit. 


Gulp. Happy Monday, Loyals. Stay tuned, I'll be announcing the winner of the Erin Condren coupon code later this evening! 









20 comments :

  1. Girl you are brave! I always cut myself off b/c I just can't even imagine. Those nights are reserved for overnight Grandma trips

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  2. Oh, honey I'm so sorry! I always cut myself off at "tipsy" because I just can't imagine The Next Day with my wild beast...I mean...precious angel :)

    Coffee, coffee, coffee. Water, water, water. Take two Excedrin and blog us in the morning :)

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  3. I'm not sure I would even attempt it when I knew I'd be alone with my daughter the next day. Thank god for my mother.

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  4. Bless your heart! Must be a yucky feeling...here's to a nausea-whiney-temper-tantrum-free monday!

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  5. I have yet to have a hangover since becoming a mom. However, there have been several occasions where I stayed up WAY TOO LATE because "that's what I used to do and I was fine" and then I had to be a mom at 7. Except for EVERY TIME that I do that, Zoe thinks it's great to wake up at 6:30...which means I get 4 hours of sleep. I can't imagine puking on top of that. Why do we always have to learn the lesson the hard way?

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  6. Oh chica! Our Nova days have blown by- lol we can't hang with the bold ones anymore! J/k I pulled the same stunt two weeks ago at the black tie wedding- 7 or 8 shots later I was all "what toddlers at home" until the next morning when advil and the biggest bottle of h2o I could find joined me on the bathroom floor! Rest up mama!

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  7. I did that to myself a few weekends ago after a wedding. The Hubs stepped up and thank goodness for that. Hope you feel better soon! And PS, I told myself I would drink that week either, but I did not make it the whole week without a glass of wine. It's just necessary :)

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  8. This is why I stop after the second (usually first) glass of wine! Glad you're feeling better!

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  9. It's a vicious cycle. Drink so much because it's been so long since you did. Hangover from hell with a small human. Go so long before the next time because it was so horrible that you forget how horrible it was. Do it all over again. At least that's how we roll in my house :)

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  10. It was hangover hell in the L household yesterday..due to an eventful wedding in NJ on Saturday night. Remind me never to do shots of scotch & whiskey please. HOWEVER, I ended up having to drive the whole way home and take care of Saige all evening as the husband slept, bitched, and moaned. Extra coffee was a definite this morning!

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  11. We went to a wedding a few weekends ago and BOTH parents were in this state. She stayed at Noni's and Grampa's but we got her back at 8 AM, so the whole day was bad. AND, she chose that weekend to get really mobile and into everything. It was pretty awesome. Oh, and I couldnt nurse her until that night bc my test strips came back positive for alcohol until then! So, she was even more pissed that she couldnt eat from mom! OOPS!

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  12. OHH.. my friend..

    I was so there last weekend after my brother's wedding on Friday. It came in the form of Dom+Grey Goose/Cranberry+barely eating all day. I yarked 3 times the next day, which hasn't happened in quite some time. I seriously thought i was going to die. I was contemplating going to an urgent care center for fluids, but more for an escape from mommyhood. Pedialyte & advil proved to be a much cheaper solution. Every time I heard "OH TOOTLES" I wanted to dropkick a disney character and then torch their precious little clubhouse. I still don't feel right.

    Rest up.. and get yourself some pedialyte ASAP.

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  13. Shake it off girl, you're doing great.

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  14. I just love you. I'm totally picturing a hungover AP changing a rank diaper. (gag)

    XO

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  15. Ughh hangovers suck once you have a baby! At least your Hubs helped out :)

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  16. I hear you. The morning after my 30th birthday I would rather have been dead.

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  17. Ha!! I am laughing so hard AP! Too funny.. Glad your Monday was better :)

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  18. Oh girl, you just described my life...expect mine is NOT the result of a fun night! Well wait...maybe the result of a fun night, but...nevermind. You get the picture. This pregnancy has got me yakking all day long! I laughed so hard at the part about singing itsy bitsy spider while dry heaving. True story. Happened yesterday. Good for you for having a fun night though!! Surely it's worth it...right? Right?? :)

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  19. It's the worst - and I say this from experience. I hope the kind Caffeine Fairy paid you a good visit that day.

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  20. Friend! Ahh..... I've missed the blogging world (been busy having fun!)! For starters, LOVE the new design - looks fantastic!

    Is it totally weird that I feel "off" when I'm not blogging or keeping up with my blog peeps? Okay, random statements are over... glad to catch up on things at your casa! As always, you make me laaauughhhhh!

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As always, thanks so much for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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