Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Things I've Learned During My Third Week As A Mom (And A Funny Sheepie Story)

1. You'd be surprised what you can do with one hand. Like, for instance, writing this entire blog post. Granted, it only took three days, but either way, I consider it a raging success.

2. You would also be surprised, absolutely shocked rather, at how little sleep you truly need to subsist. I don't need to mention that this lack of sleep also comes with delirium and hallucinations, but regardless, you are known to still make superior, appropriate and safe parenting decisions on minimal sleep-age.

3. However, you forgot what you had for breakfast. And lunch. And that's if you even remembered to take part in those meals. It's okay though. If you have forgotten what you've eaten, simply comb over your newborn's onesie. Take note, this only works with breastfeeding mothers. Are you catching on? At least once a day I manage to spill some small part of my meal on C's ensemble, as I gingerly try to navigate the way to my mouth while simultaneously doubling as an all day/night boobie buffet. But hey, I do it one-handed! 

4. Double-stuf oreos are a perfectly acceptable breakfast. They are also a wonderful midnight snack. And 2am snack. And suddenly, you begin to wonder WHY those pregnancy pounds aren't melting themselves away. 

5. My darling newborn is one smart cookie. His mommy is one big sucker. 

6. It only takes a few days to become familiar with the daytime television schedule. Regis and Kelly, Ellen, Martha and Oprah have become my new best friends. I eat breakfast with Regis and Kelly every morning. Martha typically puts C and I to sleep. Ellen loves to eat Double Stuf's with us and Oprah... well, there's nothing really else on at this time. And she just happens to follow Ellen. Oprah doesn't like Double Stuf's.

7. Your son's peenie will outsmart you with almost every diaper change. Who know that little sucker could be so feisty? And yes, we call it a "peenie."

8. Personal hygeine falls by the wayside. You consider your day a raging success if you find time to brush your teeth. You absolutely blow your mind when you can sneak in a 5 minute shower. You suddenly don't care so much anymore if you don't have time to deep condition. The only one who sees you all day is the baby anyway, and he doesn't care how soft and silky smooth your hair is.

Speaking of showers, I gave myself quite the chuckle the other day. For the first time since C's birth, I attempted to take a shower all by myself, meaning while I was alone with C during the day. Typically, I had been putting off my showers until Hubs came home from work in the evening, this way he could entertain C and I could spend a few minutes feeling human again.

 Taking a shower, while home alone with a newborn requires a ridiculous amount of planning. The bouncy seat needed to be brought upstairs. Morty the Moose also had to make the trip as did a "nunnie" (or paci), a blankie and well, my baby. These items then had to be dragged into the master bath and assembled in such a way that I could both see and hear C from inside the shower stall. Why did I find humor in this?

When Sheepie was a brand new puppy and I needed to take a shower, I used to corral about a zillion of his favorite toys and lock him in the bathroom with me while I showered. This way, I could keep an eye on him!

Everyone always says "having a puppy is just like bringing home a new baby." Next time you hear this sentiment, don't laugh! Just think of me, dragging baby Sheepie into the bathroom.. and two years later.. dragging baby C in there, too!

Oh, and to this day? Whenever Sheepie hears the shower turn on? He comes running and plants himself in the bathroom with you- right on the other side of the tub. What a good boy.

17 comments :

  1. It totally made my day to see that you were following my blog. I've loved yours for a while, so I feel like a celeb is following me now! :) Congrats on the precious little one, I've so enjoyed reading so far! Happy Wednesday, dear!

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  2. My goodness this makes me laugh! I am right there with you. So funny how life changes so much. I currently have dried vomit in my hair and really don't care... sad, I know.

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  3. oh memories :)

    Your posts so remind me of my first few weeks home with Em. I still do most things one-handed. Although, she does like to be put down a lot more now.

    Also, I remember thinking lack of sleep was SO no.big.deal....but, sadly, after 3.5 months of not very good sleep, it stacks up. It begins to get harder. I hope your little man adjusts to sleeping better then E did. She totally reverted back to bad-sleeping-ways and I am so paying for it. Not one single full nights sleep in 3.5 months. I'm dying over here. But, functional nonetheless ;)

    And, I remember one post where I talked about dropping lettuce on Em's head. Yea. Been there, done it. Stained her onesie a few times.

    I have a brother 4 years younger then me and when we were all little we would use the term "peenie" too! ha.

    And getting a shower is STILL a major accomplishment in my book AND still takes lots of planning, or maneuvering around naptime :)

    you sound like you're doing great, mama! I'm thinking in a few months, lets get our babies together--whattaya say? We aren't that far!

    Worlds longest comment. Sorry ;)

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  4. Great list and oh so true!!! Love your blog!! I am a new follower!!! Babies are so amazing in what they teach us SO VERY quickly!!

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  5. LOVING these posts...makes me so anxious to meet my little man...and become a human udder....

    oh, and oreos are totally a staple for pregnant ladies, as well. i've devoured two packages in less than two weeks....

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  6. Haha, love this list! You're a one-handed wonder!

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  7. Never in a million years would I think that reflux vomit, poop, and pee would be my accessories each day. It is like a badge of honor that I wear proudly. I also called Connor my crumb catcher when he was in the Moby. I would always find crumbs in his hair, stuck to his neck, etc. while I wore him! Great list. Each day gets better, keep that in mind!

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  8. Cute! I've never even met Sheepie and I love him already, lol! He sounds adorable ;)

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  9. So funny! Loved the part about Oprah not liking the Double Stuf Oreos. And the Sheepie story is the cutest!

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  10. I love that I can relate to all your stories. I attempted my first alone with baby shower yesterday and was traumatized the whole time wondering if she was ok while I was in there. Insane!

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  11. I love getting this glimpse into what's to come - even though it's a total 180 from life right now, it makes me so excited :)

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  12. LOVE all that insight...that'll be me in a couple of months!

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  13. Congrats! I totally missed all of this - it's been 3 weeks already?!?! How exciting!

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  14. Oh man, your blog is my favorite!! I find myself laughing and nodding in agreement the whole time!!

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  15. I could totally relate to EVERYTHING on your list. Except I don't have the double stuffed oreos...I just have the normal kind. :)

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  16. This is so funny. I can relate to them all.

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  17. Ashley, I have totally become a stalker of your daily...well, almost daily blog. Your new adventure into motherhood is so fun to read about. I love looking at all of the pictures you post of the little man, Hubs, Sheepie and of course YOU!! I can't wait to meet your new addition. Miss you!!

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As always, thanks so much for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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