Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Time I Wanted To Kidney Punch A Stranger.


So there I am, singing that godforsaken Wiggles song "Hot Potato, Hot Potato" as I wheel Carter and a cart full of groceries into the checkout line. Note, I didn't say buggy, despite how much cuter I think that word is than "shopping cart."


So there I am singing, probably shaking my ass and most definitely making a complete fool of myself so that Carter will, for one full minute, stop trying to dive head first from the cart in a kamikaze act of gravity defiance, pulling every single trashy magazine from the nearby racks down with him.

Let's be honest, perhaps half of that scenario isn't a bad thing. I can't stand to bear another look at Kim Kardashian and her Neverending Story-esque inspired headpiece. 

I quickly notice a woman rolling up in line behind me. I make the usual mental note of "if you don't smile and talk nicely to my adorable child, you have no heart" and I continue "Hot Potato-ing" away. Can you believe it? There are actually heartless people at the grocery store who ignore my smiley, chatty and ridiculously adorable child. 

Until I hear said woman ask a question. "He's adopted, right? Your son? Is he adopted?"

Pause. Because she can't possibly be talking to me.

I glance over my shoulder, expecting Brangelina or a similar lookalike family to have joined us in line.

Nope. It's just me and the stranger. The stranger who flat out just asked me if Carter was adopted. In a grocery store.

To be honest, I was so caught off guard that my mouth may have been left hanging ajar for a second or two. Until I was able to pull myself together and mumble a reply, "Carter? Oh, no. He, uhh, umm, looks like his Daddy. His Daddy is blonde."

Now, I've had plenty of passersby ask, "is your husband blonde?" or "where does your son get his coloring from?" and I'm okay with that. I've accepted the fact that although I grew a human being and carried his 9lb 10oz self around for months on end, he may not come out looking anything like me. I get it.

But there are certain respectful ways you can ask a complete stranger why her apparent child looks nothing like her. 


What if C had been adopted and was capable of understanding those words? What was I to do? Casually break it down for him in the checkout aisle that he was, in fact, part of another family first? Or lie?


And hello, have you ever heard of hair dye? I mean, what if I was really Barbie Blonde underneath this head of brown tresses? It wouldn't be the craziest thing to have happened!

It's true. For a single moment, I wanted to kidney-punch that lady behind me in the checkout aisle. She must've left her tact back in aisle nine. 


Happy Thursday, Loyals!







54 comments :

  1. Whaaaaaat?! I am in shock that someone actually asked you that. That's so crazy! I don't even know how to react to it. Good job for keeping your cool!! :)

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  2. I just don't get it. I think having a child opens the door for people to just be complete asshats. And what if you were babysitting or something? Just rude.

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  3. It probably comes as no surprise to you that the same thing has happened to me...the stranger actually prefaced "Is she adopted?" with "Is she yours?" as though being adopted would make her any less mine.

    But I get NO questions when the 3 of us are out together :) My brown hair & hazel eyes just make me the odd man out!

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  4. Some people are so weird. What would EVER make that question okay to ask, no matter WHAT the circumstances?! And who cares if he was????

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  5. At my grocery store the checkout clerk one day was commenting on how cute my boys are. However, in the next breath she says, "they must look like their daddy, huh?"
    I reply that yes they do look like their daddy, but then wonder if she is also trying to tell me that my looks are not cute ;)

    You are right though. That lady's question was inappropriate.

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  6. Wow!! The nerve of some people. I don't think I would have been as polite as you.

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  7. I get pissed when people ignore her too! And this dumb questions requires cutting.a.bitch. So rude
    Hot Potato!

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  8. People are unbelievable. Seriously. They never cease to amaze me!

    When G was just 2 months old we were at Target in the checkout line. He was in his carseat while I was unloading our stuff. I turned around and a lady was stroking his face! I about spider monkeyed over the shopping cart to get her away from him! Some people are just nervy.

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  9. Grrr! WTF is wrong with people!! This is one of those times when I would have slapped her for you if I was a passerby! Even if C was adopted- you would have been the one that gave him a loving family to cone into so who the hell is this lady to judge that! How rude! Sorry mama!

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  10. I got the "I bet your mother is so disappointed in you" comment leaving a Target restroom once {after changing my then infant daughter}. I could not believe what I was hearing. The woman went on & on...because she assumed I was still in high school.

    I guess I don't need to describe the look on her face when I told her I was 24, college educated, working full-time and that my {soon to be} husband was waiting outside for us. Oh, yeah, and that my mother was MORE THAN happy for me.

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  11. Wow. I am just flabbergasted at this one. I would have kicked her in the teeth.

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  12. Some people have no manners at all. I can't even tell you how many times people look at my husband and I, and even doctors ignore my husband because they don't think he's the real dad.
    ignorance.

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  13. This story still makes me insanely mad.... You handled that with so much more grace than I would have.

    I'm going to say it one more time...."Who the heck asks that???"

    (on a totally different note my cousin is adopted - and people ask my aunt every day "what country did you get her from?" ummmm...rude)

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  14. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "how rude!".

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  15. What a b*tch! That takes a lot of nerve to even ask that to ANYONE in the first place!

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  16. My sister-in-law gets this kinda stuff all the time. She's black, her husband's white. Their son? White as his father. Makes for awkward looks, and even more uncomfortable conversations.

    Sorry. Some people have NO class.

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  17. People and their comments will never cease to amaze me!

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  18. What is wrong with people?! My C looks exactly like his daddy too and I hear it all the time. Its annoying to be honest. So I feel your pain.

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  19. AMAZING! Some people!!!!! But, you handled it better than me. I'd have probably had some smart a$$ comment- so you did well. And whether he looks like you or not, he sounds like he's got your spunk and snarkiness! That's how it is at my house too. Easton looks like daddy but acts JUST.LIKE.ME! and I love it! ;)

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  20. I really don't get it, you would more likely be a babysitter or something - adopted - really? maybe she is thinking of adopting and was HOPING you had adopted and would enlighten her on the whole experience while scanning your coupons? I don't know, maybe she is just a Looney Tune!

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  21. I just am in shock! Some people have no tact at all!

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  22. Goodness! Some people just have no filter. That is just so crazy! I don't understand some people... like the old lady at WalMart that shoved the pacifier in my 2 month old son's mouth when he was wailing. Yea. Those people.

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  23. Seriously! What is wrong with people!!??

    AP, thanks so much for your sweet words on my wall! I actually blog-stalked you a couple of weeks ago and back read your posts when you were preggo with little C :) Stalker, yes. Ha, but really, I might be asking you for advice!!

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  24. The gull on some people! Unbelievable!

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  25. Ugh. I secretly hope to run into the Ramona Singers of the world just to have the opportunity to kidney punch someone. Now that I am a mother, I understand how fucking offensive that comment is. I wait for the day that some asshat will pose the same question to me, the tan black-haired, brown-eyed mama about my babe, the fair skinned, brown-haired, green-eyed child.

    I'm convinced some people are aliens with the supernatural ability to say stupid shit to people who don't give a fuck.

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  26. Omg! Gol! Gasped out loud! I can't believe people! I would be so stunned if someone asked me that!

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  27. Sometimes people are sooo crazy! How rude!

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  28. What a weirdo?! Children aren't always the spitting image of their parents. In fact, both my parents have dark hair and one has green the other has brown eyes... and I still ended up blonde and blue-eyed. But I have many physical traits of my parents that developed later in life. (My mom's legs, my dad's nose.) Carter still has quite a bit of time to inherit some of your LOVELY characteristics. :)

    And even if he doesn't, she's still an idiot.

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  29. Seriously some people just do NOT think before they talk. Ridiculous!

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  30. I would have punched her. :-) Jason and his friend Paul were puching S in Target the other day while I went off to grab something. Some old lady made a comment about S and Paul said "oh thank you WE just love our daughter." Ha. That put her in her place:-)

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  31. Some people...Seriously. I don't get where they come off.

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  32. I have the opposite happen to me with my niece... my very blonde and blue niece who looks nothing like my mousy brown and green action standing to my very half banana boat husband... "Oh she looks just like you guys, what a darling!" *blink blink* seriously?

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  33. WOW! I cannot believe someone would ask you that!! I mean you're right, to ask about the "coloring" is one thing. But to straight up ask if he is adopted?! NO WAY!

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  34. That is sooo funny. My kids both have pale skin like me, bright blue eyes like me (they have my hair color - but I dye mine and it's never the same color) and seriously, they both look like me. I've had people say "They must get their pretty eyes from their dad" - WTF. No, no, they don't. Look at me and see we have IDENTICAL eyes. I've had people ask if I was babysitting. SMH.

    Woooos-fa-ba. People just don't have a lick of common sense anymore.

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  35. could you imagine in C was a bit older and someone asked and he was actually adopted, and you hadn't told him! people need to think!

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  36. could you imagine in C was a bit older and someone asked and he was actually adopted, and you hadn't told him! people need to think!

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  37. OMG! What is wrong with people? I would never think to ask ANYONE that...including those that are obvious (like you said, Angelina)! It's okay to think it, but I think they need to teach a mandatory class in schools for people to understand how to think before they speak.

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  38. Mean G-store people!

    I had my god baby with my at Martins over the weekend (I know mistake 1 go to Martins of a Sat) and a old lady ask me how old she was. And I had to think for a minute because she was just 17 months the previous week. And I had gotten used to the 16th month response. I guess I didn't respond fast enough to her liking, because her response- Young mom typical! I just walked away- I couldn't even give her the time to explain that in fact she was my god daughter not my daughter.

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  39. People are so amazing sometimes. In the worst possible way.

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  40. wow! I can't believe that anyone would ever say that to a stranger!! I am in shock right now! I would have flipped a lid on that lady. Good job of restraining yourself!

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  41. I cannot believe an actual person said this to you! Some nerve!

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  42. Ok, seriously?!?! What is wrong with people? Even if he were, why is it her business?

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  43. That comment just shocks me! Where are the boundaries people??
    My daughter definitely resembles my husband and I was once asked if I was the nanny.....nope, just her mom! :)

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  44. My goodness!! People say the rudest things!
    But you are so funny! I definitely laughed reading :)

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  45. Ah, I know this feeling too well. When Logan was a baby, I actually had someone ask if I was his babysitter. I guess I should have been flattered that they didn't think I looked like I had just birthed a 9lb 5oz baby, but seriously? That's rude. If the roles were reversed, I would just assume the child was theirs and let them correct me if I were wrong rather than risk insulting them.

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  46. People are so thoughtless sometimes. I would have been furious!

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  47. OH MY GOODNESS! I am as dark headed as Elvira and my daughter is a complete white headed child...so I get looks all the time but never can I imagine someone so rude to ask that. You did better than me...I would of hard to put on the southern charm and been as smart as I could in the nicest way!

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  48. People are just so weird. It's like they have a license to say whatever they want no matter where. I don't think I'll ever get it.

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  49. WOw@!Im speechless! What a HEIFER ( which means bitch in the south HA) I am very impressed with how you handled that because not sure I could have been so polite!

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  50. LOL. Some people are idiots. Maybe they thought he was adopted from Russia or something because of the blonde hair and had it on the brain b/c their struggling with infertility/adoption? Probably not, but maybe?!?!

    I get the opposite. "You can tell who your mommy is! You have such chubby cheeks!". Ah, thanks.

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  51. I wonder if you were singing the "hot potato" song at the same time I was at the grocery store meat counter singing the "hot dog" song?!? I'm telling you, AP, we are telepathically connected........

    But, hair color aside, that kid looks just like you!

    ~D

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  52. Wow what nerve....who would ever ask that even if you could clearly see the child is adopted (i.e different race, etc.)

    WOW just WOW

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  53. Wow what nerve....who would ever ask that even if you could clearly see the child is adopted (i.e different race, etc.)

    WOW just WOW

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  54. I lack words right now!! Congrats to you for being nice! I too have dark brown hair and a blondie for a son, and from the looks of it, my newborn daughter will be a blonde too. I often get things like "Were you shocked you had a blondie" or "Were you a blonde as a child?" (I was.) But I cant believe someone would say that!!

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