Thursday, September 8, 2011

I Can't Help That I Needed Lip Gloss While Driving Through The Ghetto.


Have you ever seen better Publisher skills? I think I may  have found my future calling. Graphic design, sign me up. Bear with me Loyals, but that homemade graphic is imperative to this post.

I would like to take a minute and thank Lexus for including an "avoid Ghetto" button on their 2007 model RX350's GPS. Oh wait, there isn't one. Right. And that is why I find myself driving through a less-than-desirable neighborhood at least five times a year.

Why would this past weekend be any different? At least I had the Husband with me this time, so he could hand me my lip gloss.

Husband: Ash, seriously, WHY are you stopping at these stop signs? JUST DRIVE!

AP: Honey, there is clearly someone in front of me. I can't just drive through them.

Husband: No, but you can DRIVE AROUND THEM. 

AP: Babe, there's a red light. You need to run into the Mini Mart for anything? Perhaps a quick forty?

Husband: I don't know why I let you drive. 

AP (while stopped at light): Could you check the glove box to see if my lip gloss is in there?

Husband: REALLY, ASHLEY? REALLY? You don't need lip gloss in the ghetto!

Men. What do they know?



  1. Hahah Oh my gosh you are too funny! Loving this post. It made me smile this morning. THanks girl :)

  2. hahahahahah!

    My husband doesn't know why I stop at stop signs in the ghetto either.

    But then when I look over and see the removed from a van bench seat on the corner, it gives us good fodder for later.

    And of course, you need lip gloss.

  3. I am guessing your GPS is built in? Do you know how much it costs to update that navigation DVD? Mine was copyright in 2006. A newer version is available and I checked in to it. $200! I might as well bend over and let Toyota ass rape me. As much as I use my navigation in small-town Illinois, I will be perfectly happy with a Garmin in my next car.

  4. My GPS does the same thing! Maybe they are related?

    What was my sweet Carter doing all this? Im picturing him pouring some juice out for his lost hommies... Am I correct?

  5. Haha, too funny. That's how I feel when I have to drive through Trenton.

  6. Haha. This is awesome. Thanks for the laugh.

  7. Been there!!! Oh how creepy. But it's true, where are you supposed to go??? Omg I thought a hooker was going to throw herself on the hood of our car once in Phoenix. Oh, and on another adventure in Phoenix, I DID stop & get out at a gas station. I needed directions! And probably a diet Pepsi... Hey, it was 2007... Like HELL if we had a gps then we were broke hos in college! Ha, speaking of hos... How exactly DO you spell the plural form? Huh. Anyway, gladly we don't have any true ghettos within 40 or so miles. So these days, I'm not so wild & risky.

  8. Oh my word, the homemade graphic was the best part of this entire post. :)

  9. Best post ever! HA HA HA HA HA! It's so funny how us women don't get nervous in the ghetto but the men get all in a tizzy!

    GPS really needs to get it together... "anti-ghetto" option!?!?

  10. Now that work in the ghetto, I'm pretty immnue to it. My husband about died when he met me for lunch one day. "Seriously? You work here?!?" The other day my coworker pointed out a prostitute on the corner. I didn't even bat an eye. Just another day at the office!

  11. Hahah! There is nothing worse than ending up in the ghetto in a car that screams that you dont belong!

  12. That IS FUNNY!! My sister is horribly afraid of the ghetto. The first time we accidentally ended up driving through one I pretended that the car broke down at the stop sign. She was about in tears by the time I told her I was just playing!

  13. HAHAHAHA oh AP, you are just full of funny stories lately. Love it. Men just don't get it, end of story.

  14. I once found myself on a dead end street, with a run down laundry mat and a deserted 12 passenger van at the end of the street. It was 10pm and I was in downtown Detroit. Scared doesn't even begin to describe it....


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