Because I Can't Think Of Anything Else. Because I Feel Like It's The Mother In Me.
I've spent the last few days pondering throwing in the towel. Closing down the doors of I Love You More Than Carrots. There's been a whole new side of Blogging and Twitter that I've been privy to these past few weeks and truthfully? It hurts my heart. It makes me second guess what I'm doing here in the first place. It makes me not want to be a part of something, a community, so negative and condescending.
You want to talk about internet bullying? Heck, spend a day on Twitter.
Someone once said to me, "just because you don't put a name to it, doesn't make it hurt any less." And they're right. Whether it's a tweet, a blog post or a Facebook status update, truer words have never been spoken.
All of this nonsense makes me reconsider at what age you really become an "adult" and why this behavior is excusable at our age. I'm 28 years old. I don't have time for this and can't quite fathom how anyone in their twenties or thirties does. With or without kids, aren't there better, kinder things we could be putting our energy toward?
And for those of us with kids, is this how we're going to raise them? Is this the behavior that we're going to instill in them? That it's OK to talk poorly about one another? That it's OK to say mean and hurtful things as long as you don't mention someone's name? To belittle them with your words?
I thought we were all here for the same reason. To share our lives, whatever it is of them that we decide to put out there. Our inspirations, our creations, our passions and in many cases, our families. It's a decision that we freely make and in doing so, we choose to be respectful of the words that others choose to share.
To hear or read that you're being talked about, at any age, is hurtful. We're all a bunch of smart women and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to decipher the words that aren't being said.
There have been blog posts written about me by other bloggers, picking apart what I've chosen to share with the internet. I have seen comments flying around using words like "flashy, selfish and self-centered." I've watched as other bloggers, bloggers that I once looked up to and admired, write vague things about me to other bloggers. As if I wouldn't notice.
If you think I'm self-centered, selfish and only blog about the things I have, then you clearly don't read between the lines. You clearly don't know me. Sure, I've blogged about jewelry and clothes, nice trips I've taken and vacations I've been on. But did you also want me to blog about how I worked my ass off, saving lives no less, for often 12 or 16 hours per day, for X number of years, busting my well-educated hiney to afford those things? Or how The Husband spent five years getting on a plane each week, working in a different state, only to come home on a Friday and wake up on a Sunday to do it all over again? Well, that's how we were able to afford all of those nice trips. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Of course you didn't. Because who the heck wants to read all of that?
Karma is a mean, mean lady. Believe me, she's slapped me in the face a time or two and I can recognize her coming from a mile away. As one of the "older" bloggers around these parts, I felt the need to address this. To share my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Hopefully I've maintained a relatively "Switzerland approach" to this as I try to do with all of my posts.
If I've offended you in the past with my writing, I am sorry. If I have learned anything from this experience, it's that the negativity, the condescension and the belittling is only a small speck in the grand scheme of things.
And to those of you who have reinstated my faith in blogging, reminding me why I love coming back to my little corner of the internet and sharing my life with you, thank you.