As I was pulling my car into our garage yesterday morning, I was thinking about the host of irrational fears that I harbor. Some are lame and make me giggle and some are so ridiculous, I stop and think to myself, "Really, AP? How old are you?" Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? It's those silly little things that when you think of them, your heart beats just a little faster and your palms start to sweat a bit, despite knowing in your heart of hearts that those situations would probably never happen?
After a little introspection, I'm fairly certain I have my parents to blame for a few of these fears or perhaps, a lifetime of watching horror/thriller movies. Some of them stem as far back as my childhood and have since wained, but I will always remember them. So, readers, I know you're dying to know. What am I ridiculously worried about happening? Or afraid of? Here goes:
- Backing my car out of our garage. I've never had to worry about this one, until I became a homeowner, at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. Now? I'm always worried while I'm backing out of the garage. I have visions of either snapping a side mirror off or dragging the side of my car alongside the metal frame of the door creating that blood-curdling squeal that often accompanies the scratching of the side of one's car and the paint peeling off. This explains why I inch back out of our garage, constantly checking where I am in relation to the side of the garage. I also love my car a whole big bunch and would absolutely die a little inside if I ever dinged it up that bad.
- Someone living in our basement and/or hiding in that crawlspace beneath the cellar stairs. For the first time in my entire life, I live in a house with a walkout basement. We have beautiful french doors in our basement which open up to a fairly sizeable fenced-in yard. What does this mean? Sure, it's great for parties and entertaining and whatnot, but it's also impeccable access for a creepy stranger to enter into our house. Once entered, where would they hide? Clearly in that space beneath the cellar stairs. You know, right alongside our wine fridge and boxes upon boxes of Christmas ornaments and wedding china. Obviously.
- That a truck will drive itself off of the overpass that I'm currently situated beneath, whether due to a red light or a crossing train, at the exact moment that my car is situated beneath it. I do not have this fear if I'm one of the cars that has stopped shortly before the overpass. Weird? Most definitely. I blame this on watching too many "Final Destination-type" movies.
- Back when my husband was traveling for business four to five days a week and it was just Sheepie and I alone in the house, before falling asleep at night, I would always contemplate where I would hide (with Sheepie) if someone broke into our house and tried to steal us. There was only a very tiny closet in our master bedroom in our old house and an attached bathroom. I knew the closet and the tub would be dead giveaways, but I always assumed I would try and hide in the closet behind all of my clothes. I always wondered how I would keep Sheepie quiet. I would also lay in bed contemplating the jump from our second story bedroom window onto our deck. With the dog. Crazy? Probably.
- Growing up, I used to have this unimaginable fear that as soon as I fell asleep, someone or something would enter my house and the only way I could prevent it from finding me was if I laid perfectly, perfectly still. I would do just that, lay as still as I could, barely breathing. Behind a wall of pillows that I built, hoping that the someone or something would mistake the wall of pillows for my little body. I never worried about that someone or something finding anyone in my house other than myself. Haha, I swear I'm not as crazy as this makes me sound!
As a sidenote, I have absolutely no idea why so many of my "fears" revolve around someone breaking into our house. I've never lived in a house that was broken into, nor have I ever known anyone personally whose house has been broken into. However, I'm pretty sure I have a lifetime of scary movies and an overactive imagination to thank for that.
- I absolutely cannot for the life of me, stand in a small bathroom, such as a powder room, with the door shut and the lights off. And yes, I am twenty-seven years old and the thought of this happening makes me slightly hyperventilate. Why? Because I played that stupid game in junior high school where you locked yourself in the bathroom, turned the lights off, looked into the mirror and said "Blood Mary" three or four or five or ten times, to summon the ghost of Blood Mary into the room. Why in heaven's name would you EVER take part in this game, I have no idea. As a matter of fact, I can't remember how many times you were supposed to say her name, but I know that I never said it that many times because I was dealthy afraid of Mary's ghost coming crashing through the mirror and snatching me up. To this day. I simply cannot stand in a dark powder room. Gives me the heebie jeebies, like woah. Go ahead, laugh your socks off.
But please tell me I'm not alone? So, do you have any irrational fears?