Thursday, February 10, 2011

Does Anybody Hold the Door for a Stroller Anymore?

In the six short months of Carter's little life, I've received a lot of help. People are always offering to carry things for me, move things for me, give up their seats for me, etc. Just last week I had an adorable bag boy offer to retrieve an extra shopping cart for me so that I wouldn't have to bury Carter beneath bags of groceries. He wheeled that extra cart full of groceries, following me all the way across the parking lot to my car and patiently waited for me to load Carter into the car before he offered to help me unload the groceries into my truck and return both carts to their proper little cart homes.

How sweet? The kid couldn't have been any older than 16 and he was so patient and polite. The more I think about it, in instances like that, it gives me hope that I'll be able to raise Carter to be a loving, compassionate and polite gentleman in today's world.  Most days, I'm not so hopeful!

Notice how I didn't say anyone had opened any doors for me or held any doors for Carter and I lately. What is up with that? I run a lot of errands. Carter and I spend as much time away from the house running here or shuttling there as we do inside the house, reading stories, playing games and singing songs. Three days a week I'm in and out of the mall for Stroller Strides. Every Tuesday I'm back and forth from the library for storytime. Target, Kohl's, the grocery store. Granted, some of these places have automatic doors, in which case, Target? You're off the hook. But as for everyone else on that list? What gives? Here are two recent instances that have really just gotten my goat lately. By the way, who says that anymore? "Gotten my goat." What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Carter and I were running into Michael's Craft Store for a few necessary goodies so that we could create a few Valentine's Day lovelies to scatter throughout the house. If you have a baby then you know that Michael's has THE world's smallest carts. So small, in fact, that the infant carseat doesn't fit in them. Good thing Carter finally transitioned into sitting in the front part of the cart like a big boy. I'm not sure how much longer I could have stayed away!

So, it's approximately 6 degrees outside. Carter is so bundled up that it looks like I'm smuggling a hoard of baby blankets into the store. Of course, Michael's doesn't have one of those nice sidewalk ramps right in front of it- as a matter of fact, there wasn't a sidewalk ramp anywhere near the store. What's a mom to do? While trying to keep the blankets from blowing off of Carter, I'm literally hoisting the cart up onto the ginormous curb. Let me just say, this was no easy feat. Where was that good samaritan who was supposed to come along and offer to help? Heck, I probably would have turned down the gesture, but isn't it the thought that counts? Literally FOUR women hurried past me and into the warmth of the store. Four. Once we made it to the top of the curb and were headed towards the entrance, the fifth woman rushed past us and didn't even both holding the door. Umm, hello?! It's not like we're easy to miss! I was shocked.

I guess I have my mom to thank for instilling in me common courtesies such as holding the door for people. Babies aside, I'll hold the door for you no matter who you are. Sometimes, if you don't say thank you? I make sure to say "you're welcome" really, really loudly. I guess I have my mom to thank for that, too. But truthfully, even it means I get to my destination just a few seconds or minutes later because I was holding the door for a mother, helping her maneuver both herself and her baby through two sets of doors? So, what? I did a good thing.
You're not going to believe this next story. As I'm sure you now know (because I talk about it nearly 700 times a week both here on the blog and on Twitter), Stroller Strides meets at the mall three mornings per week. You know, with all the other men and ladies that like to walk the mall before the stores open.

Once again, it's approximately 7 degrees out. Maybe a bit warmer than the Michael's incident, but sub-arctic nonetheless. On this particular morning, I had to wake Carter up from his typical "on-the-way-to-strides-car-nap," so that we made it into class on time. When I have to wake him up, I don't necessarily put him in the jogging stroller right away. I like to give him time to readjust, to stretch and to get acclimated to be into a new place after waking up from a nap. This means that often times, I'll load everything into the jogging stroller and carry him into the mall. 

So there I am, jogging against the wind towards the entrance of the mall. Carter on one hip and guiding the jogging stroller with one hand. There is not one, but two women standing in the interior of the mall between the two sets of double doors. Now, we both know that if I can see them, then I'm 99.9% certain they could see me coming. Does either of them take a step or two to open the door for me? Negative

I stop short to line up the stroller with the door. I push the handicap button so that the door opens automatically. It's tricky, but with one hand I maneuver the stroller inside the first set of doors, Carter and I following close behind. The women break from their conversation to sneak a peak at Carter and I literally had to ask them to move out of the way so that I could reach the second handicap button to open the second set of doors. I couldn't tell a lie. I had to ask them. To move out of the way. So that I could open the door.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the the third member of their walking party showed up- and the happy little trio entered the mall right behind me. 

Who held the door for them? Oh, right. The lady holding the baby and pushing the jogging stroller. 

So, what gives? Last time I checked, you're not going to catch the baby-disease by taking an extra minute or two to help a Mama out! Believe me, I would really, really appreciate it.

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  1. Sometimes I think you read my mind! Ha! This happens to me all the time. When I was pregnant, it seemed that people would jump through hoops to open doors for me. But now that I have a stroller/baby/10 million things to carry, not ONE stranger has ever opened the door for me!

  2. I was coming out of a baby clothing consignment store yesterday.. there was a man and a woman right outside the door about to come in, and I was ofcourse heading out... the door is at a strange angle and I was pushing the door open with my backside while I pulled the stroller through and the woman managed to push her body right beside my stroller making it impossible to move while she made her way inside.. the man just stood and watched..... really people !?!?

  3. Rude rude rude! Kinda glad to know its like that other places too. Because its the same way here. Effers.

  4. On Saturday I was trying to open a door and push the stroller through - and some bee-yotch just walked right past me and SQUEEZED her size zero body between the door frame and my stroller - all the while muttering under her breath about people being inconsiderate! Of course, she meant ME. Because how DARE I take my baby to the cute new baby boutique downtown???

    And I've heard (though I cannot prove it) that goats used to be placed with racehorses to keep them calm. Adversaries would then steal each other's goats to make their opponents' horses run badly...but who really knows? Pretty sure I'm a dork for even taking the time to type that out :)

  5. OH my gawd you're about to get a book for a comment.

    Okay, this happens to me CONSTANTLY. My sister was with me the other day when a guy, literally just came out of a store, saw me with the baby in stroller (No handicapped button/auto door opener), and let it SLAM right in front of me. My sister was like, "OMG DOES THIS HAPPEN A LOT!?? and how do you not say something???"...I'm like, yeaaa. It totally does.

    Every once in a while? There is someone who renews my hope in the world. Like, when I wrangling (my 12lb dog) on the way out from getting groomed at petsmart last month, while steering the stroller with Eme in it, this lady came out at the same time and said, "I'm right here behind you so just let me know if you need a hand getting into the car!". I mean, THAT was sweet. I was all "aw thanks so much, but I think I got it!".

    But really? That was nice.

    Somedays, I lose all hope in the world, other days, my hope is renewed.

    Let me tell you one thing though, on the off chance I am out without Eme, my eyes are friggin' PEALED to help momma's w/ babies out. Like, I am on my A-game.

    There has been about 34903809 times I was about to write a post on this. Next time someone crosses me in this way, they better watch out, b/c they'll likely make it on the old bloggity blog.

    Anyway. Phew. Sorry for the book.


  6. Some people are just truly inconsiderate. :(

    I think I'm the opposite when I seem mom's with kiddos.... especially those with more than just one. I like run to their side and want to scoop up one kiddo and carry them in?! Ha! Too much? ;)

    Seems like total common courtesy to me to stop and help ANYONE that looks like they might need just a tad bit of help - whether that's opening a door or picking up something they dropped, etc.

    At least you had a good encounter w/ the sweet teenager. Makes you thankful there are still kind/considerate/good people in this world!

    Happy day to you and Mr. C!

  7. I don't have a baby and thus don't have a stroller, but, I've noticed that a lot of the general nice things of the world have gone downhill! I always hope that my good karma will come back and others will help out when I need it, but, ehhh, these days, not so sure.

  8. When my first two were still in a stroller, it was the tandem double. HUGE. Like a boat.

    And I cannot tell you the number of times I'd have to hold a door with my foot, push my ass into the store, and then pull the stroller backwards. And if it had another set of doors?


    My husband is the guy who goes out of his way to help people. Nice southern gentleman. And our son? Who is SIX?

    That six year old boy will also go out of his way to hold doors for people. Without being asked.

    There is hope in the world.

  9. I don't bring Connor to many places so I don't have to do the baby juggle and, come on, mama needs some alone time! I however, watched a gentlemen juggling and toddler and an infant in a stroller going into a store that I was coming out of. I happily held the door for him as he made his way in. I don't know how that felt for him for me to do that for him, but I was glad to do it. BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN IN HIS SHOES! (minus the toddler AND infant part).

    Frustrating, isn't it? I think they see that the stroller is a helper in the situation and that we don't need help. However, getting those things through the door? Challenging to say the least!

  10. You crack me up! But seriously I would be PO'd too! I just hate how rude people have become! Walking right in front of you cutting you off, not holding open doors, or offering to help! The list goes on and on! RUDE PEOPLE SUCK ;)

    PS I would have held the door open!

  11. My husband does the same "You're welcome" super loud if someone is rude and doesn't thank him for holding the door. As a teacher, it melts my heart when a kid has manners and will go out of his way to do something kind just because it is the right thing to do.

    I just had my son about 3 weeks ago and I already know I want him to know what manners are and to hold the door for people. I wish more people would do the same.

  12. I love reading about a mom that is raising her son right!!

    I too am shocked how common courtesies go out the window as soon as we have our babies. I need help more now than I did at 9 months pregnant yet everyone seems to ignore the lady with the stroller.

  13. Those women?? I would so have said something. Freaking ridiculous. I've noticed that a lot where we live. I'll be pushing the stroller using the hip thrust to hold the door open while people walk right in the door next to me. Blows my mind. I always hold the door for people, I mean come on.

    I will straight up yell "thank you" at them as they walk away. Stupid people.

  14. You read my thoughts. I have always held the door for others. But man, people are rude when you have a stroller. Just wait until you have the long double stroller trying to manuver thru those small doors. I wonder when large stores quit using automatic doors, like Old Navy. The 5,000 lbs doors are lovely with a stroller too. :) I love it when you are holding the door with your foot, straightening out the stroller and someone squeezes in between. UGH!

  15. I don't hold the door for women with baby strollers, only for very weak elderly people. I'm having a baby soon, and I also don't expect anyone to be holding the door for me. I figure, it was my choice to have a baby. Now I have to deal with the consequences, I guess.


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