Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Dear GOMI...

This will be the one and only time I refer to this website on my blog. Word on the street is that I've been lacking in the "snark and sass" department of my blog lately and as one who never, ever wishes to disappoint her readers, I figured this was the perfect opportunity to make up for lost time. 

If you're unfamiliar with GOMI (Get Off My Internets), as I'm sure my grandma is, who reads this blog (Hi Nanny!) it's a website that is dedicated to providing "constructive criticism" to people who choose to share their lives on the internet. I use the term "constructive criticism" very loosely as you will see that sometimes it's just a forum where a bunch of idiots come together in solidarity to be mean to someone they don't know. The saying "misery loves company" best describes those GOMI moments. 

Other moments you may get a swift kick in the ass that puts your formerly large head back in check, like the time you may have asked the Internets to send you pajamas for your son to wear solely so you could photograph him in them. Not that I would know anything about that.

A weak, asshole-esque moment, I will admit, but thankfully none of my readers obliged, thus feeding my temporary insanity. We all make mistakes, no? And it's those GOMI moments that I'm actually kind of thankful for, the ones that remind you to reel in The Crazy. 

Without further 'ado, I would like to address, with some open letters, some of the comments on my nine pages of GOMI slice of heaven. Let's start at the end and work our way back, shall we?

Dear People Who Think I Have No Real Life Friends, 

   When you said, "I have a feeling that she lives for her blog and online friends, but has few friends in real life," I had to laugh. After all, I had just spent the morning having coffee with three of my girlfriends and their kids. I didn't "Instagram it" or tweet about it which must've meant it didn't happen. You see, I try to keep my "real life" separate from my blog and that includes my extended family and friends. You don't see me posting lot's of pictures of my husband or my parents, right? But I promise you, just like "real life" friends, I have them too. And I try not to post pictures of other people's kids on my blog because, you know, they might one day end up being linked to in a GOMI forum and what kind of friend would I be then? 

                                                                                            Thanks for the giggle, A friend-ful, 
                                                                                                                             AP

Dear Haters of Kindness, Big Or Small,
   
   Snarking on someone's Random Acts of Kindness? That has to be an all-time low. Did you read the part about where I said my SIL came up with the list as a gift to me? You must've missed that part in your haste to rip them apart. I didn't know there was an already manufactured List of Kindness Acts, or else... shit! I'm sure it would have made my SIL's life much easier but taking out all of the guesswork! I lead by example to my kids every day, this includes holding the doors for people and saying "thank you." But do I dedicate five minutes each day to stop and explain to them, down on their level, why this is a kind act and why we should do it for other people? No. In fact, I'm probably too busy buying them expensive clothes or getting a gel manicure. And I would like to think that some of what we did that day brightened other people's days. Hopefully not everyone out there is as jaded and cynical as you are. 

                                                                                                Snark is the new Kind? 
                                                                                                                       AP

Dear Baby Name Knockers, 

   "Umm, I was shocked when she actually named her second Maclane. Like what the fuck actual kind of name is that? All I could think of was Die Hard." Isn't it great that we get to pick and choose whatever we want to name or own kids and we don't have to name others' kids as well? I bet you're thanking your lucky stars for that or else I might have to name your offspring! Wouldn't that be a good time! Thanks for the input. Maybe we'll go really crazy and name our third "Chocotaco." That's pretty hipster and trendy, right? I mean, as long as we can think of a middle name that begins with "M," he'll have the same initials as Carter and then I can reuse all of his monogrammed clothes! It's a win-win. 

                                                                              You Should Write A Baby Name Book!
                                                                                                                   AP

Dear Everyone Who Thinks I've Become A Sponsor Sellout,

   I apologize for the influx of sponsored content. I do, especially around the holidays, as I know there tends to be more of it because companies are on a rampage and it's kind of gag-inducing. I try not to hock products that aren't a good fit for myself or my readers which is why you don't see me reviewing half of the crazy shit that I get pitches for. Remember, I'm a yuppie stay-at-home mom! I have to pay for the cleaning lady and my children's overpriced wardrobe somehow and I'd prefer not to have to use our grocery money or my husband's hard earned paycheck. What I earn from blogging I spend on the "extras." It's been a nice little gig and I'm truly grateful for the opportunities. Not only would I be an asshole but I would be a stupid asshole if I declined a free stroller or vacation and I would have a hard time believing you would all decline freebies of that magnitude as well. As for some of the other "fluff posts?" Listen, it's paying for my kids' Christmas gifts. It is what it is and I try hard to balance it with real writing. But know that those sponsored posts take just as much time, energy and brain-work.

                                                                             Sorry I'm Not Sorry (OK, I'm A Little Sorry), 
                                                                                                                 AP

Dear Those Two People Who Said I Looked 40/Have a Big Nose/Am Ugly, 

   I am thirty years old with a 3 year old, a 17 month old and currently baking another small human. You want to know something about kids? Those little bitches age the shit out of you! As does not getting a full night's sleep in over 17 months. But would I venture to say I look 40? Yeouch, that's a low blow. If I'm 40 and blogging, you have my full permission to pull the damn plug on that shit. Forget about a "push present," Mama wants botox after this baby. Gosh, I hope I don't scare my kids! Maybe that's why Maclane isn't sleeping through the night. His poor, hideous Mommy gives him nightmares! 

                                                                       Thanks for shedding light on the topic, Gisele! 
                                                                                                                    AP

Dear Captain Obvious, 

   In response to your, "this is such a mom blog," comment, THANK YOU! Just what I sought out to be. I mean, after all, I am a mom. And I blog. And when you're neck deep in diapers and tantrums and teething and shitty sleep schedules, I'm not sure what else there is to write about! I'm not keen on politics and would make for an absolutely horrid fashion blogger, so Mom Blog suits me just fine. I'll take it! 

                                                                              Thanks for that call out! 
                                                                                                            AP

Dear Drink Police,

   I'm sorry. I'm too busy drinking my 4th beer, while 5 months pregnant and home alone in the charge of my two young boys to form a clear, concise thought to respond to your silly remarks about my alcohol consumption when not growing a human. I would get all scientific on  you about alcohol and breastfeeding and my personal tolerance and the like but I'm clearly too drunk to form a sentence. In fact, Carter is typing this out for me while I dictate. 

                                                                                                                           Cheers! 
                                                                                                                                  AP 
  
Dear Myriad Of Readers Who Said Shit When I Complained About The Shock Of The Pre-School Plague, 

   I don't know what planet you come from, but I didn't think that your kid getting sick every single week for nearly eight weeks straight was normal and if it was normal, then I must've missed that page in the Pre-School handbook. Apparently some kids catch everything in Pre-School and now that I actually have a kid in Pre-School, I'm aware of that! Who knew? Certainly not the mother who never had a kid in pre-school or daycare before. Sick kids fucking suck and that was my point. I was absolutely blindsided by the amount of sickness in just a few short weeks of school. Oh and the bunch of letters after my last name that came with my nursing degree? Doesn't make it suck any less. Sure, I'm "equipped" to handle certain symptoms but when it's 2am and your own kid can't catch his breath and you're both sobbing on the bathroom floor? No nursing degree prepares you for that. 

                                                               Maybe I'll Write About Something More Vain Next Time, 
                                                               Oh Wait, You'll Just Find Something Else To Shit On Then, 
                                                                                                                      AP 

To the Hoards Of You Who Think I'm A Materialistic Snot, 

   If one thing has remained constant since the beginning of this blog, it's my love of labels and brand name things. Things which I've worked hard to pay for but you don't really care about that. I will not apologize for this, now nor ever. I just like nice shit. I will also, however, always loathe ridiculous "character" clothing on babies, especially mine. Does it make your baby uglier? Do I think you're less of a parent because your kid's shirt says, "Little Slugger?" Of course not. Only you're mean enough to judge someone by what they're wearing or buying. It's just not for me. Don't forget, wise GOMI snarkers, but I will soon have three boys. That's three tiny heinies who get to benefit from well-made, quality clothing that gets passed down from boy to boy. But you already knew that. Does it make you feel better that most of my underwear comes from Walmart? We're more a like than you think! 

                                                                         Fruit of the Loom Four Pack For The Win! 
                                                                                                               AP

                                                              * * * * * * * * * * 

Dear GOMI ILYMTC Thread,

In all seriousness, you guys, I don't know what you're all talking about when you say "get back to your real writing." When I first started this blog, I wrote about shit. I wrote about expensive vacations I took with my husband, jewelry he bought me and JCrew birthday wishlists. I wrote about the time Sheepie shit all over himself and his room and the time a firetruck drove right into my 3-day-old Lexus. You want to talk about "vapid and insufferable?" Holy shit. My life before kids was as vapid and insufferable as it comes. 

I try really hard to bare my soul on here and when I do, I like to think I do a pretty decent job. But I also try to be conscious of my family's privacy as well as sounding like a perpetual whiny mother. There's only so many times you can say "this shit is hard" before someone calls you a complainer. There's only so many times I can write about how incredible and amazing my kids are before someone says, "she thinks her boys are God." 

If by "real writing" you mean, "stop writing sponsored shit," I'm sorry but I can't make that promise. Like I said earlier, I try to only hock the things that make my life as a mom easier and more fun. That includes vacuums, strollers, sleep machines, kid clothes, etc. Sometimes I succeed with flying colors. Other times, I fail miserably and I feel like an asshole. I can admit to and apologize for that. 

So, I can't promise I'll stop writing sponsored content. It pays some bills and allows my family nice "extras" and keeps me at home with my boys. I will promise, however, to write more of the "real" stuff if you promise not to talk shit about my kid's names, the clothes they wear, their shortcomings, differences or my parenting choices. They're my kids, dammit, and it's not their fault. Leave them out of it. That's not being constructive. That's being a douche.

I never wanted to be a sellout and it's hurtful and humbling to hear that but at the same time keep in mind that this is my space. I kind of get to do whatever I want with it and that's pretty awesome. Plus, it gives you all something to talk about. You can thank me later.

To my readers who've stuck around? Thanks. I really do appreciate it and I mean it.  To those very few who've "white knighted" for me on GOMI, thanks. It's hard to stand up and be nice in a forum full of hate. To my readers whom I've let down or disappointed? I'm sorry. There's a saying in life and in business, "evolve or die" and just like when I set out to write this blog, I'm not the 24 year old newlywed I once was. Things change.

As much as blogging has been a hobby of mine, it has also become a business. One that I'm actually proud of most days.  

I look forward to all the new changes 2014 will bring with it. This is not at all the direction this post was supposed to take but I got tired of feeling hurt and offended by some of the threads on GOMI.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I hate feeling like an asshole. Nobody wants to be an asshole. Although, I have to say, sometimes I need the laugh. 

And to the concerned reader who really wants me to get my tubes tied after number 3, don't worry. I'll do it just for you, how's that? It'll be my gift to society. Thanks for being so concerned about me, my family and my procreative habits.

                                                                       Less Sponsored Shit And More Real Writing in 2014, 
                                                                                                 AP
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101 comments :

  1. Oh man, I saw this post come through in my reader and it just made my stomach hurt. I will say we probably don't have 10 legit things in common with each other, and I can be as snarky and bitchy as they come, but holy crap it's awful to hear/read awful things people say about you - no matter how true or untrue they are.

    I can absolutely understand why you would take any sponsored content you can - with two small kids around and the opportunity to stay at home... hello, who wouldn't? Slap a label on my forehead and call me a sellout!

    Unfortunately, some people just can't leave well enough alone.

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  2. I loved you before I read this but now you are officially my hero!

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  3. Way to go! I had recently heard of this phenomenon of blog bashing websites (my sister and mother in law or the only ones who read mine so I'm safe and had no idea) and was shocked. If you don't like it don't read. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for fitting blogging into your hectic day with 2 boys and another on the way.

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  4. 1. You, your blog, your kids, and your fashion are amazing.
    2. You don't look 40, whoever said you did is smoking crack rocks while eating bath salts and drinking 4Loko.
    3. Your space, your blog. People can read or not
    4. Stay off whatever website that is. Seriously!! Reading crap that people write about you that is not positive isn't going to do any good.
    5. Your cute preggo belly kind of makes me want another baby. (Don't tell my husband.)

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  5. Im proud of you for putting yourself out there. You know where I stand on this troll website. Love you friend.

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  6. Sorry you had to go through that and you're braver than I to read all of those things. You handled yourself with class and I'm sure it was very therapeutic. I will never apologize for posting sponsored content either and you're right - Noivember is KILLER....but companies/brands wanna promote their product for Christmas, so....duh! My blogging income helps me stay at home more with my kids doing something I love, so I'll never apologize! Keep calm and blog on! ;)

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  7. Wow... amazing post. I have read for a while, but don't comment often. People are so brave behind the safety of a keyboard. The amazing thing about the internet is if you don't like what someone is writing you DON'T have to read it, click that fun little X button in the corner, it's this fun little thing that closes out the page you were just reading.

    I say good for you with sponsored posts, they allow you to be home with your boys and still have a nice life. Who cares, it has no barrings on my life, if I don't want to read it, I don't have to.

    I hate these kind of websites that are all about bashing people, so much negativity in this world.

    Anyway, don't stop what you're doing, this is your page, at the end of the day it's for you and really no one else!

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  8. awesome, I am new to this blogging thing, but these people posting this crap are ridiculous, get a life right?! Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving.

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  9. I can honestly say I didn't even know this website existed - are people REALLY like this? I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog, following you on several forms of social media, etc...and have for a long time. In all honesty, we don't have that much in common, but that doesn't make me right and you wrong or vice versa. I will never grasp that line of thinking from anyone, it makes no sense to me. If we all thought and lived the same way, we'd be a bunch of robots. Of course, I'm sure these same people would bitch about that, too. I still cannot believe people write these things about others, it's depressing!

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  10. I am SO glad you wrote this post. I was actually on that site the other day just because I had nothing to do ha. I never post on it but I always read things and none of it ever makes sense. You can't know a person completely just how they write their blog. It's ridiculous what some people "constructively criticize". Good for you for this it's perfect!

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  11. I have been reading your blog for a few years but never comment. This is awesome! I love you and your blog even more now!

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  12. I think you know there are a thousand people who love you, and probably a billion would if they had the internet and/or knew about ILYMTC. Sometimes when I think about actually putting effort into a blog that more people than my dad would read - I shy away, because I don't have the balls to confront the haters like you do. xoxo from Chester County, PA babe!

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  13. I've been reading your blog since before we had our first boys in July 2010 and you have continued to be my favorite. I talk to my husband and friend Liz all the time about you. I think you have great balance on your blog. I think your sponsored posts clearly have a connection to who you are and aren't just random posts to make you money. I wouldn't want you to change anything about your blog!

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  14. Wow! I had no clue a site like this existed - and I think it is CRAZY that people actually take time out of their day to post over there. I hope in 2014 you keep doing exactly what you're doing - bump updates, toddler stories, vacations, and everything else in between - that's why I come to read! I'll end with "haters gonna hate!" ha :)

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  16. Wow! I had no clue a site like this existed - and I think it is CRAZY that people actually take time out of their day to post over there. I hope in 2014 you keep doing exactly what you're doing - bump updates, toddler stories, vacations, and everything else in between - that's why I come to read! I'll end with "haters gonna hate!" ha :)

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  17. I didn't know that website existed but this was your best post in months. I admit I do not like sponsored posts though I understand why you do them. The problem is I can tell it's spondered by reading the few preview lines. They don't sound genuine & you've never not LOVED a product. Plus, slim fast??? Anyways, thanks for this post, it brought me back to why I started reading your blog, my first blog read ever.

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  18. Best. Post. Ever. Wear what you want, say what you want and for crying out loud name your kids Snap, Crackle & Pop if you want.

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  19. I want to just copy and paste Classy Fab Sarah's post because that's how I feel. Also, I'm not even a mom and I read your "mommy blog". Heck, I have been a (quiet) onlooker (stalker?) of your life, your kids, your joys, your milestones, and all that other stuff. How about this? Live life, enjoy, and screw the haters.

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  21. Thanks for calling them out on this. I hate when so many bloggers only make vague references to hurtful things but are oh-so-dramatic about it. Fight snark with snark and then be done with them.

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  22. First time commenter here. I have seen GOMI and read the threads on the blogs that I follow regularly (including your's). I may not always agree with everything the bloggers I follow say/do, but I have a job and a family and hobbies so I don't take time out of my day to leech hate and judginess onto an internet forum (frankly, I usually don't even take time to comment on the blogs I read). I guess I get enough validation from my own life that I don't need random hateful internet strangers to validate my thoughts and feelings. I normally think it's annoying when bloggers write "response" posts to GOMI but I really liked the unapologetic tone of your's. Constructive criticism is one thing, and what is posted on that site is far and above constructive criticism. If you want to hire a cleaning lady, do a bunch of sponsor posts, or drink wine every night, it's really no one's business - EVEN IF YOU DO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET. News Flash - disagreeing with how someone lives their life (even someone who pubicizes parts of their life on a blog) does not give you an open license to be an asshole. These people need to take a page out of Thumper's book: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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  23. GOMI can suck it. I love your "mommy blog" and can relate to just about everything in this post. Keep it up!

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  24. I wish there was an applause button!! Also? Maclane isn't a weird name. If you called 911 and I asked your(his) name and you said Maclane? I don't need you to spell it. The lesson here: making names spellable should be more important ;)
    But seriously, good for you for standing up to the GOMI jerks!!
    You're an amazing writer and mother and that's all that counts!
    xo

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  25. I am just completely at a loss that a site like this even exists. Call me naive, I guess. I've always thought that those that act like assholes are usually pretty unhappy with their own lives and want to blame someone, other than themselves. Snark on, sister. You're fabulous.

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  26. OH MY!! I loved ya before but I LOVE you now!! Cheers darling, have another! HA! :)

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  27. I love your blog so so much. It makes me sad that stuff like that website is out there. Insecure people are the worst.

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  28. Omg you and your family are awesome!! I love your writing, style, and hilarious stories about motherhood! Don't change :)

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  29. It's sad that you must address such stupidity! No one should have the time and/or energy to read someone's blog and then go and rip them apart. If you don't like what is being written DON'T READ THE BLOG!! It's rather simple. I, however, love your blog! I, like other readers, don't have much in common with you, I'm not even a Mom. But I enjoy your writing style, pictures, and funny stories. But maybe that's because I'm a normal person that doesn't criticize people that aren't exactly like me. Keep being you, AP!!

    PS..My vote is for Chocotaco. I mean, Carrot would be more fitting and Calculator is just a little more interesting but Chocotaco will do. ;)

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  30. You know what? Of all the people out there who write sponsored posts, I think you write them the best. Honestly, you do a nice job of making even the sponsored things personable and relatable. I can't believe anyone out there wouldn't take the free stuff if it was offered to them too. Keep doing what you're doing, this is your space!

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  31. Thank you for making me laugh. I read GOMI too and luckily I'm small enough that I think the most I got snarked on was using shower curtains as regular curtains... Snark is Snark- thank you for being sassy in response.

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  32. I said this on another blog and I will say it here, I think people are far too opiniated about what folk write in their blog. If you want to write sponsored posts, go for it! If you get offered a free holiday or a free stroller? Bloody well take it! Are you hurting me? No! Its your blog, your life and your kids, and as long as you're not hurting them or yourselves then just do whatever you want. Plus the time you were 'asking' for pjs I was tempted to send a pair from Scotland (like very scottishy ones!) But just never got round to it. I don't mind reading constructive critiscism from anyone but GOMI is just nasty!!

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  33. Ugh I hate that stupid site, I dont understand why people take the time to write such hurtful ridiculous things! I hope you take it all with a grain of salt and know there are many people who read & enjoy your blog!

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  34. WOW! Amazing responses to such hypocritical, jealous bastards! I love your blog and it looks like many others do too. Don't worry what those nasty people say about you and your family. I think you sound like a great mom. And you're right... Who would turn down such fantastic freebies???? Keep on blogging!!!!

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  35. AP I don't think I've ever posted on your site before but I've followed you since before you were pregnant with Carter and I for one think that you're awesome and an inspiration. I want to be you when I'm a mom, seriously. You're hella funny, a great mother and always keep it real. Don't worry about the haters, there will always be haters but like the saying goes they're likely just jealous. You're adorable, your boys and adorable and so loved. At the end of the day that's all that really matters (the loved part :)). Thank you for sharing a slice of your life with all of us. Cheers!
    E

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  36. And THIS is exactly why I love stalking your blog! Keep on, keepin' on momma! I love you!

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  37. I love you and all your "snark"...that is all!

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  38. How dare you give your child a name that he might not have to share with 6 other people in his first grade class! From one 30 year old Ashlee(y) to another :)

    (also I didn't think asking for pjs was that big of a deal...)

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  39. Eff the haters. I'm not even a mommy but I love your 'mommy' blog and fully plan on using your blog as a reference whenever I decide to spawn. And people who hate Mac's name probably names their kid Trixie. Asshats.

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  40. You and your children are perfect just they way you are! I honestly can't believe that there are people our there who spend time saying such rude and hateful things about others. Those hater need to get a life, they clearly say the things they do because they are jealous of the beautiful life you have created. I love your blog and I really hope you don't let these a$$ hats bring you down!

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  41. Love this, AP. Proud of you for standing up to the internet bullies.

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  42. I had no idea that such a website exists and I can't believe that people take that much time to be such assholes. WTF?

    I have loved reading your blog since I found it right after becoming a mom, and I'm glad! Your blog is really so well balanced and you are so eloquent with speaking what so many of us are thinking.

    I can say, positively, though, that you have more fans than haters... and I'm pretty sure that the thing my mom used to tell me about "when they pick on you, it's because they are jealous" applies in this particular instance.

    Keep on blogging, AP! :)

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  43. People can be so evil! But you know the saying haters gonna hate. I read through some of the thread and was sickened. How can you talk about a mother when we are all trying to do the best we can?! We are different but I still find you relatable to my situation. If you wanna have expensive, nice things it's your money and your prerogative who am I to judge you? I have read for quite a while and I will keep reading! Ignore all the bitchiness that is masked as "snark".

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  44. i just read all 9 (soon to be 10) pages of GOMI and this letter back. My head is spinning. Good lord. this is why I am happy with my tiny blog that no one reads. ;)

    You are a stronger woman than I.

    XOXOXOXOXO to the moon.

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  45. I love reading your blog....gets me through my long days at work lol. your blog is one of my faves. keep up your awesome writing!

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  46. I've never even heard of this GOMI website but what the hell? I should go see what kind of shit people say about me which I'm guessing is nothing since I'm so not popular. So I guess I'd consider it a win that people are talking about you....maybe??? Does anyone say nice things?

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  47. I'm sure the 50 comments all say the same thing. But I have to join in and say this post is hilarious and gomi is for losers with no life or friends.

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  48. I have never heard of this site. What a bunch of assholes!! And did someone really tell you to get your tubes tied? Um, at least you take care of your children!!!

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  49. Yay for you for standing up for yourself and most importantly your children. I would have a hard time turning the other cheek if anyone said one mean thing in regards to my child. (My mother bear instinct comes out in FULL force). Anyway - I was taught, if you don't have anything nice to say - then don't say anything at all! Other's obviously need to learn this lesson. Also - if you need more friends PICK ME, I live close:) (Really I'm not a stalker, promise)

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  50. Holy.Shit. I just went and read a couple of pages...What the F is wrong with people? If it were me I would keep writing all the stuff they hate just to be an ass. Bring on the sponsored posts, fancy jewelry, hashtags galore, and why not have a 4th child(hopefully another boy) just to really piss them off.

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  51. Oh my goodness... GOMI. I have seen it from it time to time and was disgusted and shocked at such a thing existing. I have to admit when I saw this post, I clicked over to the dark side to see what exactly was being said. I don't like even visiting the site as I don't want it to get views or attention or give it any validity. Geez, that space is toxic and needs to go. It becomes a rabbit hole where you can spend time clicking on different links and get lost in the rubbish. I had to quickly close the window so I didn't spend much time getting lost. I don't know why this site exists, why it is allowed to exist, or why it is not removed. Cyber Bullying is becoming recognized as a crime, so I am not sure why this doesn't. Good job standing up and being honest.

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  52. Basically, you're awesome for writing this post and I loved it. GOMI is the dumbest site ever and needs to be shut down .Proud of you for addressing those evil people. If you don't like a blog, DON'T READ IT. Simple as that.

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  53. GOMI is a sad, sad place. The fact that people unite with a bunch of strangers and just pass judgements and hate on others is really quite depressing. Love you and this post! Keep on naming your kids whatever you please and have another drink (or 3) for me :)

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  54. So, back when I used to blog with any regularity (heh!), I was absolutely *terrified* that I'd end up on GOMI for some reason...which eventually led to obsessively checking GOMI, which eventually lead to obsessively reading GOMI. I still find myself clicking over there on my phone from time to time when I'm up all night with Becca, and I don't know why...and then suddenly it's an hour later, and I've spent all that time reading negative stuff, and I feel bitchy and mean too, even though I never said a word myself. I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately, and thinking that it may be time to stop reading, because even though I disagree with most of what's being said, I think that reading in itself may be passive participation in a way, and that's just not something that I want or need to be doing (the fact that I feel like a crappy person even just admitting that I have read it from time to time is probably a prime indicator that I shouldn't anymore).

    Anyway, thanks for this post, and I'm sorry for all that was said and that you had to read. You've got a good thing going here AP :)

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    1. I feel the same way! I used to just read the main page where I still feel like a lot of the posts are interesting and bring up valid criticism about bloggers. And I enjoy a lot of the discussions that go on in the Members Only forums (which have nothing to do with bloggers. There are forums for books, movies, TV shows, relationships, general advice). But so much of the discussion in the "bloggers" section of the forum is just really petty stuff. I have no problem with commenting on bloggers for doing shady things but a lot of it is really mean, uncalled for (there's no need to pick apart people's looks) or purely speculative and I don't want to be apart of that part of GOMI at all. Even in the "Stay on My Internets" section, I never want to bring up the bloggers I love, because I don't want to direct others who might tear them apart.

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  55. So, back when I used to blog with any regularity (heh!), I was absolutely *terrified* that I'd end up on GOMI for some reason...which eventually led to obsessively checking GOMI, which eventually lead to obsessively reading GOMI. I still find myself clicking over there on my phone from time to time when I'm up all night with Becca, and I don't know why...and then suddenly it's an hour later, and I've spent all that time reading negative stuff, and I feel bitchy and mean too, even though I never said a word myself. I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately, and thinking that it may be time to stop reading, because even though I disagree with most of what's being said, I think that reading in itself may be passive participation in a way, and that's just not something that I want or need to be doing (the fact that I feel like a crappy person even just admitting that I have read it from time to time is probably a prime indicator that I shouldn't anymore).

    Anyway, thanks for this post, and I'm sorry for all that was said and that you had to read. You've got a good thing going here AP :)

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  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  57. Haters are gonna hate, misery DOES love company, and all that (sadly) comes along with blogging for the world to see...BUT I draw the line at giving someone crap for the types of random acts of kindness they decided to do (or that was suggested to them.) REALLY?? You are criticizing someone for not doing the "right" random acts of kindness?!?!? That is, hands down, the dumbest, most unproductive thing I've ever heard of. Does those people hear themselves?!? (Or see, I guess.) If you are not doing anything nice, then I have no idea how you could ever criticize someone else for doing nice things. I don't care if they don't agree with how it was executed (as I did the same thing for one of my birthdays) YOU ARE DOING NICE THINGS, WHAT THE HELL. Okay sorry, I clearly have some feelings about that haha.

    People can be so mean. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself, but I feel like you played in to them by giving them any kind of attention. I'm sure they'll go wild over this post. I just can't imagine ever being so bored and hating someone so much to go onto an internet forum and sign up for it, just to post horrible things about someone. If you don't like it, don't read it. There are plenty of people that I've stopped reading or unfollowed because I just no longer enjoyed what I was reading/seeing. Simple as that, no harm done. Like one of the previous posters said "News Flash - disagreeing with how someone lives their life (even someone who pubicizes parts of their life on a blog) does not give you an open license to be an asshole."

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    1. Does = do. Because god forbid GOMI rip me a new one for not being able to write a sentence properly.

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  58. Wow! I've never heard of gomi....what a sad site! Jealousy is a bitch. Seriously, who has time for all that hate!? Must be rough being so miserable.
    Keep your chin up! I have always loved your blog!

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  59. Wow! I've never heard of gomi til now....what a sad site! Jealousy is a bitch. Seriously, who has time for all that hate!?
    Keep your chin up. I've always loved your blog!

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  60. I love you. That site is for the weak... Keep being you AP!! The cream always rises to the top. Great post. Xi

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  61. I just love this post. I try to stay off GOMI and say that they stuff on there doesn't hurt my feelings sometimes, but that would be a lie! People can be so mean. If you don't like it, don't read the blog/IG feed, whatever. It's really not that hard. I try to keep friends "offline" too. I'm not about to post pics of my kids classroom, where I spend 1 day a week volunteering and hanging out with other moms. And I just wish people know how many "offers" get a no. I'm proud that I can make some money for my family in blogging. It's a lot of work, man!

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  62. the last time it was brought to my attention, i was insanely hideous with the worst nose in the world. and how can i be married because my husband is so hot, what is wrong with him to be attracted to me? dear lord don't let that woman have an ugly baby. i feel so bad for her kid, lets hope he doesn't get her crinkle nose too. AY YI YI. it neverrrr ends! people need lives.
    this, i loved. i needed to read it! you go mama! A+ in your confidence. love it. love you.
    :whipitch: crushed it.

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  63. I personally think GOMI is what is wrong with America. We want to get on blogs and Twitter and go on and on about how we want out kids to be "nice" and raise them right, while women sit behind a computer screen and write the meanest shit possible about other women. And we wonder why kids these days are becoming insufferable little brats.. I navigated that site one time and was HORRIFIED that a site exists just to be mean to other women. Who honestly? we don't know a thing about other than what they put on their blog. I'm really sorry you got attacked. I don't find that to be fair to anyone. I hope you know though that they aren't worth the time of day. Though it still can't make it any easier to hear.. I think you rock friend :)

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  64. This reminds me of the Sex and the City episode when Smith is on the billboard and Samantha tells him "first comes the gays, then the girls and then you know you're big". GOMI is made up of purely jealous people who have nothing better to do than rip people apart to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately, the more popular your blog, etc. becomes the more haters you are going to get! I'm sure it's easier said than done, but ignore those catty, petty, jealous people, because, really, they are just jealous! Keep up your honest writing, I enjoy it!

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    1. I love this reference! And I think it is true. You know you have made it once you have haters.

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  65. OMG I never heard of this site but had to go look after I read this....kinda wish I hadn't! I found posts about at least 5 other bloggers that I LOVE besides yours and they were bashing on all of them. Why do people do this?!!? I don't get it...so much hate and jealousy. It's sad we can't just write our blogs the way we want without people ripping them to shreds with negative comments?! It takes a lot of confidence and strength to put your life out there like that and I think you are doing a GREAT job! I don't see why people even read if they hate it so much. They need to get a life!!!

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  66. You said all the things so many of us always want to say. And I could write a book all about the misuse of the term "sell out." People are such jerks. Great piece, my friend.

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  67. You said all the things so many of us always want to say. Great post, my friend.
    p.s. I could write a book on the misuse of the term "sell out" in the blogging community.

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  68. Adore you. Adore this. You know that.

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  69. I have so many things I could say, but instead I will just say that I freaking love you, girl!! Xoxox

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  70. I'd never heard of GOMI until this post. How disgusting!

    High five for sticking up for yourself, your beliefs and your family. You're right. Your blog is your space. If people don't like it, they move along and stop reading. You just do your thang.

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  71. Listen, I just wrote three sponsored posts in a row, which I know none of my readers probably appreciate. But I needed extra spending money for our trip to Disney World. Yep, I'm an asshole, I admit it. The one time I've taken my family on a vacation in the five years I've had kids. So I said yes and I hope that my readers stick around for the "real stuff" which is surely coming in January 2014.

    I can get annoyed with sponsored content so I get GOMI's argument. But I just don't read sponsored content if I don't want to. I pass it right on by if I don't like what I'm reading. Then I come back for posts that speak to me and I can relate to.

    I really enjoy your blog and I enjoy seeing pics of your handsome boys. I definitely do salivate at your wardrobe and jewelry. Mama can't afford any of that stuff and my boys have never owned a piece of Boden clothing EVER (sob). But I live vicariously through you and your boys' wardrobes :)

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  72. AP, I envy your writing. I love your blog and I love your style. I can be a pretty decent smart ass but you have a way of writing it with ease. My blog lacks such excitement. It's sad that people can't keep their nasty comments to themselves and I'm sorry that you were a target of people's bad attitudes. Rock on, mama! Rock on!

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  73. Ok I was on my phone before and it's hard to comment the way I want to with that tiny keyboard. So here goes.

    First of all, GOMI is for people that are huge. So you, my dear friend, are huge. And when you're huge people will knock you down. For things that aren't real/don't matter/aren't true/just fucking stupid. Because that's what people do. People can't take someone else succeeding somewhere.

    Secondly, even those fucking dooches admit your kids are the cutest. :)

    Thirdly, I love this post. You shut down the BS, admit to the shit you knew you were doing and don't excuse yourself just explain. Because, honestly, that's what blogging is. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

    Fourthly, (I read the thread) I love "loyals" :) a lot. Don't forfeit that one.

    Fifthly (is fifthly a word?) I still think you give us the real life sht. But at the end of the day this is a blog. Honestly people. Don't these people blog? If they don't, that actually explains a lot.

    And lastly.
    You know how I feel. You rock. Rock on.

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  74. Ok I was on my phone before and it's hard to comment the way I want to with that tiny keyboard. So here goes.

    First of all, GOMI is for people that are huge. So you, my dear friend, are huge. And when you're huge people will knock you down. For things that aren't real/don't matter/aren't true/just fucking stupid. Because that's what people do. People can't take someone else succeeding somewhere.

    Secondly, even those fucking dooches admit your kids are the cutest. :)

    Thirdly, I love this post. You shut down the BS, admit to the shit you knew you were doing and don't excuse yourself just explain. Because, honestly, that's what blogging is. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

    Fourthly, (I read the thread) I love "loyals" :) a lot. Don't forfeit that one.

    Fifthly (is fifthly a word?) I still think you give us the real life sht. But at the end of the day this is a blog. Honestly people. Don't these people blog? If they don't, that actually explains a lot.

    And lastly.
    You know how I feel. You rock. Rock on.

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  75. I left you the longest comment ever and I really hope it went through :/

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  76. May I just say that it blows my mind people think a nursing degree prepares us for our family being sick. When my husband is sick, im clueless. When my dog is sick, im even more clueless and god help the nurse that puts an iv in my mom because I need to sit down or pass out when you're wiggling a needle in her arm, even though I can do it to someone else all day long.

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  77. May I just say that it blows my mind people think a nursing degree prepares us for our family being sick. When my husband is sick, im clueless. When my dog is sick, im even more clueless and god help the nurse that puts an iv in my mom because I need to sit down or pass out when you're wiggling a needle in her arm, even though I can do it to someone else all day long.

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  78. Keep doing what you are doing! Thanks for being you!

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  79. Keep doing what you are doing! Thanks for being you!

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  80. I vote you name the next baby Chalupa Batman (I hope you watch "The League" or you won't get the reference). Wait, you need an M name in the middle . . . . . Chalupa Man-Bat? :)

    In all honesty, the sponsored content does get old, but like others have said, I get it . If it would pay for my kids' Christmas presents or get me a free vacation, I'd be ALL OVER THAT!

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  81. Wow! I've never heard of GOMI before, but am not even interested in looking. People evolve, perspectives change, bottom line, it's your blog. Read if you want, don't read if you don't like it.
    Am I missing something? Who has time to get so worked up over someone else's blog that they post about it?
    I enjoy your blog!

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  82. It blows my mind how mean some people truly are. I LOVE your blog & I think your an amazing mommy to your sweet boys. & if other people don't see that, well that's just their loss then! Keep doing your thing!! :)

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  83. Wowsa. I had no idea that site even existed, but I think you should never read it again! How hurtful and maddening all of that stuff is! I think you are funny, and always have been, and your a good momma, and well… the end. HOpe you can ignore all of that hate and just be proud you have 9 pages worth of attention!Happy Thanksgiving!

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  84. I follow you on Instagram and really, really admire that way that you "Mom" and "Wife". You deserve only the kindest words. I don't know you personally but through watching the way you are with your family, I can say that with lots of confidence. Keep being the wonderful, beautiful, big-hearted, you A.

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  85. Ignore every bit of it. We have some things in common, some I hope to have in common in the future… and I love your blog, sponsored content and all! You are an inspiration to many of us. Don't let idiots get you down.

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  86. Just for the record, the M brothers are Will's style icons.

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  87. It blows me away that a website likes this even exists! I guess I'm out of the loop on that one. Unfortunately, you can't do anything right with the people that post on those type of sites. Your boys dress cute, but it's not like you have to break the bank to dress at Gap, which you dress your boys in (adorably, I might add) a lot! As for the sponsored posts. I totally appreciate them! I would MUCH rather read a review from someone that I "know" opposed to on their website. So, keep on keeping on, sister! Don't read that mess and as long as YOU feel good about what YOU post about YOUR family, then you are golden in my opinion!

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  88. It blows my mind that a website like this (GOMI) even exists! I guess I'm out of the loop on that one. The thing about these websites is that it doesn't matter what you do, they will always find something to criticize. As for the sponsored posts, I like them! I would much rather read a review from someone I "know" compared to a random person on the products website. And, girl, I'd be all over it, too if I got the items for free. And I would be surprised if there wasn't a person out there that wouldn't! So, keep on keeping on sister!!!

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  89. I seriously started searching through you blog to comment on the Dohm sound machine post, but I think this post is so much more appropriate. Because of your apparently hated sponsored post, I now get a semblance of sleep. For the first time in 23 very long months. And it is amazing. I read your post, read every review imaginable, and bought it all in about an hour span. The angels sang when my son slept all the way through the first night. I had never even realized that the iPad app I was using didn't have the same impact as a real sound machine. Your "sponsored shit" post restored a little of my sanity. So thank you.

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  90. I've never seen your blog before, but you have my admiration for standing up to the deranged women at GOMI! I found GOMI when googling about a site I follow, which led to exploring the site. I joined and participated in the forums for two days because I found the questions interesting.

    There was nothing I could say about ANYTHING that did not elicit incredibly vulgar, rude, crude, tasteless, insulting comments from other members. Those women are, frankly, trashy bitches, no other words will do. Even their screen names are vulgar. Every decent woman should avoid that site like the plague.

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  91. I thoroughly admire you for calling them out like this (I am sure they had their fair share of more snarking in response since those people never have anything better to do). That website is disgusting and cruel... I am glad to see you don't let it get to you!

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  92. Your response was amazing. I wish mine had been this bad ass and unapologetic. xo

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Thank you for reading ILYMTC. If you have any questions about a post or want to get in touch with me (or any of the cast of characters here at ILYMTC) email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail(dot)com.

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