Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Happy First Year, Maclane. Here's Your Letter.

Dear Maclane, 

Happy first birthday, sweet boy of ours! I find it hard to believe that we're already here at this day, that you are already a year old. They say time moves faster with the second baby, that it's because you're less focused on every single minute of every single day and I have to admit that to some extent, it's true. The days have passed much quicker with you and your brother together but I can still remember, as if it were yesterday, waking up the morning of your birthday so excited to meet you and see your sweet face. 

I remember feeling so nervous in the moments before you were born. Tears filled my eyes as your Daddy and I waited to hear you cry. Once you were born, the nurse showed me your head of dark hair and I couldn't help but laugh. I would finally have my mini and it's no secret that you are, in fact, your mama's boy. 

You have the most beautiful large brown eyes and I swear you speak more with them than your voice. You are so fiercely independent with a strong temper that you are not afraid to share when you grow impatient. You've quickly learned to stand your ground when it comes to sharing your things with your older brother and I know for certain that this trait will stick with you as your grow. 

Be kind to your brother, Maclane. He is sweet and sensitive and he loves you so much. He will be your best friend as you grow older.  He will also be responsible for getting you into trouble but that's all just a part of brotherhood. 

Although your brother broke us in as new parents, you reassured us that we are, after all, capable of loving and raising another sweet boy. That said, you did make it pretty easy for us and for that I am thankful. You may have even spoiled us a little with your mellow demeanor and go-with-the-flow personality. 

Most days I find myself chasing you down only to pick you up and squeeze your guts. You are so deliciously squishy Maclane and I am so lucky to have been given the chance to mother not one but two sweet little boys. Every day is a gift and when I find myself losing sight of that truth, that's when I pick you up, sit you on my hip and just squeeze. Squeeze you and find that sweet spot on your neck between your chin and you shoulder that I have loved since the first moment you were placed in my arms.

Sometimes I think about how I've had to divide my time between you and your brother and in those moments where I feel sad that you've had to cry a little longer and learn patience at a much younger ago, I am beyond grateful for the twelve months that we've shared nursing. I'm so grateful to have had that extra one-on-one time with you and although it wasn't always easy, I was sure to soak in every minute. Every rise and fall of your chest against mine, every single eyelash that rested on your cheek as you closed your eyes. Every chuckle that escaped my lips as you would prop your foot up on my shoulder. I even managed to soak in those moments that stung a little, from our early weeks learning the in's and out's together to what I can only hope are love pinches and those quick bites that often signal a fully belly. 

Here we are at your twelve month birthday and although we've dropped a nursing session or two, you don't appear to be ready to wean and for that I am also grateful. In a way you're protecting my heart because selfishly I know I'm not ready for that time together to end.

After we had your brother, I didn't think life could get any better but then we had you and our lives became immeasurably greater. You have brought so much more love and laughter into our lives and it has been nothing short of just awesome watching you grow up this past year. 

Mackie, not only did you make us parents again but you made Carter a brother, a gift that I can only hope the two of you will cherish for a lifetime. As much as we have loved watching you grow this past year, we have comparably loved watching Carter transition into his role as your older brother, your best friend and your guardian. It is with such a tender heart that he loves you and from the first day we brought you home he has been so sweet on you.

Your first year has been so full. Full of adventure and excitement. Of first words and first steps, of love and late nights. Of new places and things and just so much new. But most of all, so much love

MacAttack, you are sweet and kind. Inquisitive and adventurous. You are fearless and loving, lovable and mischievous. The look you flash us the minute you're getting into something you shouldn't is priceless. Your Daddy and I can only hope to continue to cultivate these traits in you as you grow, with maybe just a little bit less fearlessness and mischievousness. A mama's heart can only take so much!

Thank you for reminding us to let go and live a little. To slow down ad appreciate the little moments. To take neither life nor each other very seriously. Thank you for reminding me that it's OK to spend half of the day in our jammies, to leave the house with strawberry juice on our shirts and to stay up past our bed time. That it's okay to bend the rules sometimes and break free from our daily routine. We will survive and sometimes even be a bit better for it in the end.

We are so lucky to be your parents and we will always thank God for blessing our family with you, beautiful boy. 

Happy First Birthday, Maclane. 
We love you more than carrots! 
Love Forever,

Mommy, Daddy, Carter and Sheepie too.

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  1. AP, what a beautiful letter. Happy first birthday to your sweet boy and happy BIRTHday to you, too. I always think its important to recognize you deserve to be celebrated today, too.

    I needed this letter today. I'm 30 weeks with number two and have so many sleepless nights filled with anxiety about expanding my mama heart to love two babes. You let me know its gonna be right. It's gonna be ok. Thanks for that.

    I nursed my first for 17 months and the detail you share about your one on one time with Maclane made my heart ache and smile at the same time.

    I've been much better at IG lately than blogging. This letter reminds me of why I wanted to blog and that I need to get back to it.

    So thanks for a lot this morning. Have a great day with that macattack of yours!

    Xo- katie

  2. Happy birthday, sweet boy! You sure are loved! :)

  3. I can't believe he is one! I swear he is only 4 months! He is such a cutie! Can you believe you made it to a year and might go longer nursing?! Proud of you mama!

  4. Beautifully written momma. He's lucky to have a mom like you!!

  5. Aww, how cute! I found your blog through the Tory Burch giveaway and I am so glad I did, I love it and I am now following you!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  6. Happy birthday sweet boy! Did mommy find your birthday stickies for the last month? ;) Congrats on the amazing milestone of nursing for a year! Ethan has been nursing for over 8 months now, and even though I'm actively trying to wean him (just to drop a session or two, not to wean to stop) and he's showing no interest in that! Good for you and Mac!

  7. So precious and tender! I love it! Y'all have done a fabulous job with both boys and look at you momma....still nursing! hooray! they are both beautiful boys! i do love how much Mac looks JUST LIKE YOU! I know you must love hearing that! That little smile is just the best! I can't believe it's already been a year---time does fly. I hope y'all have a very special day together! xoxoxo

  8. As always, so beautifully written! The second picture, with Carter meeting Maclane, bring tears to my eyes. And then I see Mac's sweet smiling face - he's such a happy boy! Congrats on nursing a WHOLE YEAR and enjoying it along the way. Enjoy the day with your sweet family! xo

  9. Happy Birthday, MacAttack! I read this with tears streaming. My second turned a year on June 14 and writing my letter to her was so hard for me. But, reading yours, I find that we share many of the same sentiments about raising the second child... Learning patience at a young age, sharing a sibling bond, and learning that mom's have so much more love to give than we could ever imagine!

    Enjoy your day!

  10. Happy birthday, Maclane! AP- your boys are absolutely precious. Enjoy today!

  11. Aww. What a beautiful letter. My heart is going pitter patter <3

  12. This is so very very sweet! It brought tears to my eyes. (oh crazy 3rd trimester hormones lol)

  13. sweetest post ever!!! you are such a good mama. these are so so precious!!! eeee!!!!!!

  14. Ahhhh!! My eyes are totally filled with tears mama- you have such a beautiful way with words and I know the boys will love these letters that you have written each of them because they are so special! You and your hubs have done an amazing job with both of the boys and should be congratulated for making it through that hectic first year of 2 kiddies!! You rocked it mama! Happy 1st birthday Mac!!

  15. SO sweet. I just can't believe he's already 1! Crazy. Happy birthday sweet boy!

  16. What a beautiful letter! Still can't believe this sweet little chunk is one!


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