In case you didn't know, it's currently World Breastfeeding Week. If you've been reading ILYMTC since the birth of Carter, you would know that my breastfeeding journey with him wasn't very long. From the beginning I felt pressured to breastfeed him and had downright terrible experiences with the lactation consultants in the hospital. I was grateful to make it four months and at the same time I was also very, very relieved at the conclusion of our journey. Let it be known that I wouldn't change my feeding journey with Carter one bit- from nursing him to formula feeding, it was the journey that worked the best for the both of us at the time.
It's no secret that my journey with Maclane has been vastly different. Maclane is an all around different baby and I, a more patient mother. Well, most of the days. So many things are different this time. My production, my attitude, my baby. All so very different.
I cannot express how much I cherish the time that I'm nursing Maclane. If pressed to explain why, I would imagine it's because he doesn't always have my undivided attention what with his passionate, energetic older brother running the house. But when I'm sitting down to nurse him, even when for just four or five minutes, I feel so connected to him (no pun intended)- like the most I can offer of myself to him, he has. Right there, in those moments.
Believe me when I say this: I'm the most uncomfortable public-nurser around. In fact, I often refuse to do it outside of my house (or car) which makes outings extremely difficult those first few months. For the longest time, I was even covering up when nursing in front of my dearest friends.
I really do believe breastfeeding is beautiful. The photographer in me believes it, the mother in me believes it. I knew this time around that I wanted to capture those moments, however brief they may be. I may only make it to four months again. I may make it longer. Only time will tell.
In the mean time, Happy World Breastfeeding Week.
Unfortunately, I have to close this post with the age old saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, please keep it to yourself." I'm not in the mood to shovel any shit today.