Tuesday, April 24, 2012

On: The Un-Diapered Naked Toddler Mile

Talk about a weekend of transitions. 


Most importantly of note, Carter is now sleeping blissfully in a Big Boy Bed. That transition occurred on Sunday and although I knew in my heart of Mom-hearts that C was ready, I didn't once take into account that I may not be. 


Oh my tugged and happy heartstrings!


However, I digress. I return later this week to write about that Transition. For now, I'm checking in to share a Situation that I only previously thought to be a myth in Toddlerdom. 


The Un-Diapered Naked Toddler Mile. 


Let's recall the first occurrence, shall we? Early last week, The Husband had just arrived home from work, The Toddler greeting him at the front door clad only in his usual post-dinner-diaper-change attire of a t-shirt and Pampers Cruiser Size 6. 


After the routine hug and kiss, Carter is off and running about the first floor as The Husband and I catch up while standing in the kitchen. Suddenly, my Mom-Radar perks as the house becomes eerily silent. Before I can leave my relaxed post at the counter, a completely naked Toddler comes careening down the foyer hallway, straight into the kitchen. 


Looking pleased as pie with his new, shall we say, freedom.


The Husband and I take one look at each other and the Naked Toddler before erupting in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I quickly scoop up Mr. Uninhibited and carry  him into the living room to retrieve his bottoms. 


That's when I see it. 


The Impervious Wee-Wee Puddle right smack in the middle of my beautiful quatrefoil rug. Just inches away from the happily discarded Pampers Cruiser Size 6. 


"Umm, honey? Our child peed on the floor." 


Just when I thought I had this Mom-Of-Boys-Thing down, my child goes and pees on the floor. 


And Loyals? There's a reason I referenced The First Occurrence. You see, it has happened two more times since then. The Un-Diapering followed by the Naked Mile culminating in The Peeing On The Floor. 


Oh dear, me. I truly believe God knew what he was doing when he gave me a son and further more what he was doing when he blessed us with another Little Weenie to cultivate. I cannot french braid for the life of me and I'm terrible at painting nails, so it seems only fitting that I am a Mom Of Boys. 


But Peeing On Things? I'm so not ready for this. Could someone please pass the duct tape?




31 comments :

  1. Wait till he poops! That happened to us not too long ago. Oh nasty

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  2. Oh no, you have been christened. Carter does this to us all the time, though it is USUALLY after bathtime. :)

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  3. Time to break out the mini potty!

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  4. First, Jessica's comment above is hilarious. I don't have kids yet, so this may be why it's hilarious to me and not you guys. :)

    Second, I love how you ended with "pass the duct tape". LMAO

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  5. Mine pulled down his pants and pooped in the middle of the backyard one day. He was pretending to be a dog. LOL!

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  6. Start potty-training him! And put him in some big boy undies and/or pull-ups. Colton is potty trained, he is only 24 months and we started around 18 months with him. He still sleeps in an overnight diaper but rarely wakes up with it wet. Hope he is peeing on the hardwoods/tile instead of carpet. LOL!

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  7. OH CARTER!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO!!!! AND ASHLEY-----I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!!!!! This is HILLARIOUS!!!! God DOES know what He was doing giving you boys- YOU ARE A CHAMP!!!!

    xoxoxoxo

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  8. Too funny! Can't wait to experience all these crazy little boy antics :)

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  9. Ha. Yes. Just wait.. it gets better with age. I mean, seriously. Wait until he realizes it down there. My 8 year old twin boys are crazy. Better than painting your walls with their poop! Ugh.

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  10. Hilarious! Mia will often undress herself and run around with a "nakey butt" as we call it!

    Too funny!

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  11. I die laughing. This is hysterical, hopefully he learns to pee where he is supposed too quickly!

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  12. Oh girl! I have two little men myself and the toddler "naked time" as we call it at our house is a nightly occurence. Luckily, not as frequently do we find puddles, but they enjoy being "free" way too much so we've obliged to ten minutes after bathtime for them to run around the house screaming "I'm naked" and enjoy the wind in their. . .er. . .bits. Having set aside time has cut down on the surprise naked visits, thank goodness. :) Good luck reigning in your little weenie! Once it's experienced freedom, it doesn't like to stay hidden anymore! LOL.

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  13. No he didn't! Oh my gosh. I totally pictured Jackson doing this as I read the post. Something I guess I should prepare myself for since apparently it's not just a myth! Hope C keeps his diapers on for ya this week :)

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  14. Things I don't think of as I approach boy mom-dom. I love this post and your honesty! I imagine these things happen to everyone, but it's just hilarious!

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  15. Um. Not sure if this is a boy thing because if I take off Eme's diaper TOO early before bathtime (aka: seconds), it results in pee on the floor more often than not. UM YEA. So, cool. NOTTTT

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  16. AJ did this in the playroom once...but it was poop. She was so funny because she knew it was wrong! Now she regularly looks at me when we're in there & says completely seriously, "I pooped on the floor."

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  17. LOL! Boys are always an adventure. We always like to tell the story of my (now) 17 y/o brother...when he was 4, he slept walked to what he thought was the restroom- and ended up peeing down the stairs! He pulled his pants back up when he was done, and went right back to bed.

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  18. Hilarious. So many more boy adventures in store for you! Maybe he's trying to tell you he wants to pull his undies down and use the toilet! ;)

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  19. When mine start doing this, I'm coming to you for tips!

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  20. Girl Em pees on the floor at least once a week if not 5 times, seriously the minute the diaper is off she runs, hides, and pees... and then has teh nerve to come to me and say "NO, NO, NO.. no pee-pee"

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  21. Ohhhhhh, Carter. Ethan is just now starting to get to the squirmy stage while changing his diaper. I commented to Jarrod just last week about how soon he'll be taking them off! Jarrod looked at me like, "That will never happen." He's in for a fun treat.

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  22. Ugh Jackson takes his off all the time! I usually let him run nude for a few minutes after bath time (sometimes not by choice - he hates to get dressed.) lately, he pees every time. First time? I yelled at the dog.

    Oh being a boy mom!

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  23. Haha. That is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh! :)

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  24. I laughed until I came to the part about the rug-peeing. Then i felt bad, but not too bad. :D I have yet to experience this with my son (22 months) but I'm sure it'll be just as fun. ;)

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  25. Oh my. Wow. Hahaha! Poor momma!

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  26. awww LOL I've heard some pretty scary poop on walls-couches-etc stories and I'm terrified!

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  27. Oh goodness..maybe potty training is in C's near future, ya know to save the rest of your carpets..lol :)

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  28. We had a poop in the corner moment a few weeks back, it was the eerily quiet toddler that gave it away. Being quiet usually isn't a good thing.

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  29. Hate to break it to ya, but the weenie wearers aren't the only ones who like to wizz on the floor. Thank God Eva hasn't figured out to derobe herself yet, but we have eliminated any form of naked time from her evening routine because she will purposely stand up, spread her legs, stick her, ahemmmmmm, out and say "Oopsies! Eea pee pee!"

    Now if only I could get her to "Oopsies! Eea pee pee!" in the potty we'd be allllll set.

    Time to bust out the duct tape, Mama bear. :)

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  30. Funny! I just did a post about Tommy's first poop on the potty at daycare, which ended up on the floor. Sounds like Carter might be ready for an introduction to the potty! And FYI, I too stink at Braiding hair and picking out accessories, so I am thrilled to be a mom of a boy!

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  31. This is hilarious!! Luckily that Carter is so darn cute!
    We got in the habit of letting Rhys run around naked after bath time, only I found the piddle puddle with my foot! I think I see a potty purchase in your near future!

    @dianegatorfan

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