Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sometimes, Your Marriage Needs A New Trashcan.

The idea behind this post came to me last night when my husband proudly exclaimed, "we haven't bought a trash can since before we were married!" Loyals, if you've been reading for a while you know that we've been married for almost four years.
When we first moved into our new home a little over a year ago, one of the first purchases I made was a brand new trashcan. The one that my husband insisted on moving with was a sorry sight in what would be our newly renovated kitchen. I couldn't even think of disgracing the recently installed Indian granite and natural oak floors with such a hideous receptacle. How hideous, you ask? Well, it was a large, white, plastic eyesore with a lid that barely shut. I'm ashamed, really. 
So, at seven months pregnant I headed to the nearest Bed Bath {and} Beyond, coupon in hand, to purchase one of those newfangled and attractive Smartcans. You know the ones I'm talking about. Stainless steel, ridiculously overpriced but so chic and so fabulous. And I figured the handy dandy 20% off coupon would surely lessen the blow. 
Eighty dollars and a bright and shiny trashcan later, I was out the door and headed home. I couldn't wait to show The Husband the new addition to the kitchen and tell him all about how I used a coupon! Obviously that makes it all better, right? Secretly, however, I knew better and knew his reaction would be less than excited. On one hand though, I thought that I could distract him from the price while I explained it's fancy new features.  
Long story short, The Husband about had a heart attack. Before I could even get the trashcan out of the box, he was loading it back into my car for me to return the following day. I kid you not.
Well, friends. I gave in and that trashcan got to live to see another day year. Weekly I was wiping that bad boy down with Lysol wipes and cursing it's atrociousness. Daily I thought of ways to casually leave it outside, hoping that it would meet some sort of ill fate. If I could remember when trash night was, I most definitely would have left that sucker out at the curb by accident.
The straw that finally broke the camels back was when Sheepie discovered he could flip the lid open and pull out whatever gross disgusting food item was recently tossed away. After a week of screaming, "No, Sheepie! Sheepie, no! SULLIVAN GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE F&^%$*& TRASH!" it was time to take matters into my own hands, once again.
After six long years, the White Plastic Atrocity had finally seen it's last days. Yes, you read that correctly. That trashcan had been with us for SIX years. Not only had it been with us for six years, but it had survived three different houses in two different states.
How did The Husband feel about it's demise? He couldn't be more in love with the new Smartcan. All night long he kept remarking how great the new addition looked in the kitchen. How it was "the most perfect shade of grey and just the right height."
Sometimes, I could just smack that handsome, hilarious husband of mine. But for right now, I'm too busy staring lovingly at my brand new trashcan.

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  1. Hahahaha I just LOVE your posts. They seriously make me laugh. You are TOO funny. So sorry I've been MIA in the commenting department, I've been reading from my phone, and you know what a pain it is to comment from there. Blogger needs to fix that! Hope you're having a fab week, sweet girl!

  2. Isn't it funny how something as trivial as a trashcan can brighten up your whole life? We finally bit the bullet and bought our $80 trashcan about a year ago and have never looked back! It looks great standing in our kitchen, especially since it replaced the same white one you had!

    Congrats on the new trashcan!

  3. Girl Versus Kitchen reason number 40291 why I hate my kitchen:

    I still have that Great White Atrocity. Granted, I have a fancy schmancy stainless steel can for my actual garbage, but the GWA handles the recyclables. I cannot let myself spend another $80 on recyclables..

    Sigh. The struggles we face.

  4. Ummm.. I need a picture. For posterity sake. No, not of Mike making out the with trash can, either. Of the can itself. And Carter. And Sheepie. How about one of you, too?!?

  5. Haha I love that he made you return it. My boyfriend would totally do the same thing.

  6. I seriously think you are the only person that can make buying/hating a trash can funny! :)

    I went through the same thing with BTB.. I finally just put "his" trashcan in the garage and trashcan fairy brought us a nice one!

    And with pups, you have to have a good trashcan because you will be cursing at them all hours of the day to stay out of the trash! They are determined dumpster divers when it comes to crap you throw away!

  7. Even though you had to wait a few years...sweet win!:-) I feel in my house the roles would be reversed. We have that white trash can...and I can't fathom spending hordes of $$ on a nice new fancy one, but I am sure i will fall in love with it, asap.

  8. This post (and your wit) are all sorts of amazing! So glad you got your new, fabulous trashcan. Ours is pretty funky, too, and I'm hoping we'll get a new one when we move!

  9. I bought a cheaper($45) version at Target. Two months later my husband broke it. I have to BEG him to take out the trash now, but all the same neither of us want to spend the $100 to replace it. WHY ARE THEY SO EXPENSIVE. Ridiculousness and a necessary evil.

  10. Love it! We need one of those trashcans too!

  11. I feel your pain, I love me a pretty trashcan. Ironic, isn't it, that we are willing to throw away 100 bucks on a trashcan?

  12. hehehe, this cracks me up! thanks for stopping by my blog and directing me to this one, i'm now a follower over here!

  13. Haha! I definitely have a Simple Human garbage can! However, I would have been hard pressed to pay 80 bucks for it ... ours is one of the largest ones that has the "butterfly" lid and I found it at Costco for 60! Boooyah! I recently found a bunch of them at Marshalls too and picked one up for my SIL b/c I spend many days of the week watching my nephew and they had one of the atrocious white nasty cans. Hell, nevermind! I would have paid 80 bucks for it if I couldn't have found it for cheaper! We do have a plain white one but it sits under the sink for recycling (which us greeners do a lot of in the PNW! ;o) ) and I was all the jars, rinse cans, etc so that can is pretty spotless.

    The garbage situation is just gross. It makes me gag, no matter what. I can't do old food and nag at Hubs to take it out every night after dinner. I'm not a sissy girl by any means; I will do almost any other chore (that we've come accross thus far...) but the garbage is NASTAY!!!! Especially if I use lots of garlic! Ewwwwwie!

    An issue I have w/the snazzy can? How to clean the inside really well? I wipe it down with lysol wipes inside & out regularly & pull the can part out & scrub it... but what about inside the outer part? Does that make sense? I need to pressure wash it b/c there are too many nooks & crannies! Damnit!

  14. Now that you mention it, we've had our trashcan since before we were married. Yikes. It probably has some major germs.

  15. ok I can't believe you just posted this because JUST YESTERDAY, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond (I have a gift certificate) and I was bound and determine to get a new garbage can. We have been married for almost 7 years and have NEVER gotten a new garbage can! And our old one was totally gross and disgusting and it didn't have a lid and I would get SO mad whenever the dog would get into it and dump it over or when my 1 year old would run into it and everything would fall out. I am proud to say I am now the new owner of a black garbage can, WITH A LID, that even LOCKS to I can keep dogs and kids out.

    Wow, that was a long comment on my new garbage can.


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