Monday, April 11, 2011

My Husband, The Sponge Nazi.

We all have those ginormous little quirks that drive our significant other crazy. If I think hard enough, I'm sure I could come up with at least one thing that I do/say/don't do that just makes my husband lose his proverbial shit. If you've been reading long enough, you know that "losing someone's shit" is not only my favorite expression, but something that happens a lot around these parts. Sheepie loses his shit. Carter loses his shit and we all know I've lost my shit a time or two. Whew, how good does it feel to say "shit" this many times on a Monday morning?
 
Let's talk about something that really makes me lose my shit.
 
My husband refuses to use an entire sponge at once. He apparently thinks it's a giant waste of sponge and therefore, insists on cutting up the sponge into a bazillion and nine pieces and using, literally, the world's smallest sponge cube to wash dishes.
 
Do you know how difficult it is to scrub mexican lasagna from a casserole dish with a speck of sponge? I can't even begin to recant the number of times I've scraped my knuckles on crusty old food bits because the damn sponge is well, nonexistent.
 
And just in case you thought I was making this up, here's a picture of the current sponge bits that have taken up residence at our kitchen sink. What is not pictured, however, is the giant intact sponge that I've hidden that comes out when it's my turn to wash the dishes. Take that, Sponge Nazi Husband!
 
 
 
 
Please tell me I'm not alone.

What does your significant other do
that makes you lose your proverbial shit? 
 
 
 
Happy Monday, Loyals!  
 


 
post signature


37 comments :

  1. Oh my word, I would FREAK about the sponges. My husband INSISTS on hanging his pants on our open closet door rendering the closet unable to be closed ALL WEEK. And by Friday, there are 5 pairs of dress pants hanging over it. UGH. :)

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  2. This would drive me absolutely insane. There is no way your husband can clean anything properly with those.

    Mine is a hanger elitist. He just threw away all of our wire hangers (Mommie Dearest much?!) because the "plastic ones are so much better". Seriously...about 60 hangers are in my garbage because of him.

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  3. OMG - that made me LOL - thanks for that so early on a Monday! My husband takes 3 and a 1/2 years to put away his laundry. We both take care of our own laundry and I'm thankful that I don't have to do his on top of mine and Mia's but sheesh. It just sits on the floor in the basket in our bedroom. He is also notorious for not wiping up any coffee that he drips in the morning. I leave first, so I usually don't see it until it's nice and dried up by the time I get home after work.
    No matter what, clothes or coffee, I still love him just the way he is! Fun topic!!

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  4. wtf?! bahahaha!! that is hilarious!

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  5. BAHAHHA> I would Die. DIE.

    Cutting up my sponges!??! YOU MIGHT AS WELL CUT UP MY HEART. Jeeez. Seriously. How do you clean with them?? Where does that silly quirk come from? hahah.

    For us, I'm the one that annoys my husband :) Ha. I don't cap things or snap things shut (like my shampoo/conditioner/hair spray) and my hubby is so TYPE A...he can't handle it ;) hehehe....

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  6. I'm pretty sure I would lose my shit over the sponges. My husband does a few things that drive me crazy (I'm beginning to think he does them on purpose to see my reaction.) but the main one is throwing his clothes on the floor RIGHT BESIDE THE DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER!!!! SERIOUSLY?!?! haha gotta love 'em!

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  7. HILARIOUS! My huz will come in from mowing the lawn - covered in grass - and walk THROUGH THE LAUNDRY ROOM, and kitchen to the dining room where he sits down to take off his socks (shoes stay in the garage). And then? He leaves them on my dining room table. My shit? Freakin' LOST, sister!

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  8. Okay, seriously... that might be a little strange. I'm just sayin.

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  9. I'm pretty sure my husband believes that someone with sparkly wings called the Dishwasher Fairy transfers his plates and glasses and utensils from the sink to the dishwasher. Drives. Me. Batty.

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  10. Shit!! I just had to say it too. Alan NEVER wipes down the counter after making his lunch / coffee. And he NEVER cleans the bathroom mirror after little bits of spit/toothpaste come out of his mouth. He leaves his stinky sweaty socks in little balls in our bedroom instead of the laundry room. Our room then smells like ass!

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  11. That is way too funny - I think I lost my shit for you over the sponges!

    I could probably do a different post every day for a year with all of my husband's quirks...however, not putting things that have a place in their place is my biggest issue I think...whether it's stuff he just drops on the kitchen counter when he comes in, or all these sticky notes he leaves all over the front hall table to remind himself of something...also the fact that he can drive down our entire street (we're the last house) and pass all the garbage or recycling out for the next day's pick up, and I even remind him to do it, and he still forgets to do it, resulting in me lugging the stuff out after I put the baby to sleep and come downstairs to find hubs passed out on the couch. And yes, I have woken him up to request he do his job, but the "in 5 minutes" never happens. I am still laughing about the sponges...but I could NEVER use a sponge that small!

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  12. This is HILLARIOIUS! What does a sponge cost- $3 for a pack of 2!!!! HA HA HA! Good news is- AT LEAST HE HELPS WITH THE DISHES!!!

    Let's see- I can think of a FEW things that make me lose my shit!

    1) After taking a bath (which he does daily) instead of putting the shaving cream, razor, shampoo, mirror all back in there little basket on the side of the tub, they line the edge of the tub like its freakin Fort Knox or something!
    I mean really, put the shit back in the basket!

    I"m sure there are a [few] things that I do to make him lose his shit too...but hey, it's not about him right now!

    Thanks AP for this post!

    You're the bombdigity!

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  13. Oh dear heavens - how is it possible to clean dishes without a full sponge?

    I'm pretty easy to annoy (oops!), but I just cannot get over the fact that my husband NEVER throws away the tags/packaging for new clothes, etc. He just leaves it out.

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  14. I would flip out at that! My husband will use a sour rag and it drives me crazy. Eww.

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  15. My mouth literally dropped open at that picture. When I saw it on my Blogger page, I thought it was stock-art that you found. But no, it's yours. Holy shit. Yes, it does feel good to say that on a Monday morning!

    That being said, I do several things that make my DBF cringe.. and vice versa. At least the rule is - since he stays at my apartment six days a week - my house, my rules! (and he buys our groceries and cleans up after himself.. so praise God he's not a free-loader!) I just wonder if/when we get our place together.. how much of a Type-A freak he'll become.. I better cherish this me-time!

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  16. I would LOSE my mind if I saw that. My husband leaves open cans of Diet Coke everywhere. I cannot deal. It was bad before BG but now that she's here with her grabby hands, it makes me insane!!

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  17. I use washcloths, so if my husband starts cutting those up, I'll be pissed. Haha.

    Mine eats in bed and I find crumbs EVERYWHERE. Gross.

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  18. Hey, new follower! :)

    And honestly, this has to be the weirdest/funniest thing I've ever seen. How does he clean with such a small piece of sponge??

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  19. That is just effing hilariously crazy.

    My husband leaves cabinets and doors open. AND, so do my three kids. So, all day long, I'm closing shit I didn't open. DRIVES.ME.KRAZY.

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  20. Oh my word, HILARIOUS. WHO CUTS UP SPONGES!? I mean...other than the obvious... ;) That would drive me batty.

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  21. This is making me laugh SO hard. Seriously? Where did he learn this amazing trick? It must be some crazy family tradition or something. And? What does my husband do to make me lose my shirt? ... Well ... how can I pick just one?

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  22. OMG that's insane. That would make ME lose my shit. Holy cow.

    I thought I was bad because I go crazy when my husband leaves the sponge in the sink to collect bacterial matter and God knows whatelse. I'll let him know I'm perfectly sane now.

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  23. Oops. Realized my typo just as I pressed enter. He does make me lose my shirt sometimes, but I don't think you want to know about that ;)

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  24. That's so funny! I wish my husband would have ANY quirk about cleaning, but tidiness does not come, shall we say, naturally to him. :-)

    I used to cut up my sponges into tiny pieces, too, but only when going backpacking, when every gram counts!

    xoxo,
    tanja
    postmodern hostess

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  25. That whole sponge thing is too funny... how does he expect you to get dishes clean with those tiny/baby sponges?! Those are way too small. (:

    This isn't too bad, but my husband wears his boxers and socks until they're basically falling apart. I have to secretly replace things every once in a while so he doesn't go out with hole-y clothes.

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  26. Seriously that is too funny! My hubby stays out of the kitchen, so my sponges are safe. What he likes to do-- hang his used bath towel over our garden tub INSTEAD of the perfectly good towel rack.. I think he does it to piss me off.. honestly!

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  27. I just laughed out loud at this. Hilarious.

    I can't think of anything good right now but there are plenty of things that inspire shit losing around these parts.

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  28. bahahaha, i literally laughed out loud! i think i would beat him with a sponge if i were you, haha!

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  29. Shut your face!! This cracks my shit up!!!

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  30. I'm going to hide this post from my husband. It will give him ideas.

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  31. Does he throw sponges away after a single use? That would be the only way I'd agree to using sponges. I totes have a sponge phobia.

    And? My hubs puts trash from whatever he is cooking in the sink. The garbage can is three feet away.

    That being said, I must admit that the list of irritating things I do is a freakin' mile long. Not gonna lie.

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  32. OMG. I. Thought my husband was the only one who had sponge phobia. He cuts ours in thirds. He's totally type A and I'm the opposite

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  33. I would hang my husband by his toes if he did this!! My husband is a slob I cant even pick one thing. Oh yes I can, I hate when he leaves me without clean bottles for the baby!

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  34. Hahaha, I have NEVER heard of someone cutting up their sponge. That's hilarious. My pet peeve is when my BF leaves the sponge SOAKING wet and lays it on top of another sponge (gotta have a scrubber and a normal sponge), making both of them moldy and stinky. No one likes to microwave stinky sponges (bc this girl is too cheap to just throw them away).

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  35. Bhahaha, ok, I'm sorry, but, that is hilarious. Not the scraped knuckle part though, of course.

    Let's see, my husband cannot close things. Cupboard doors, cereal boxes, chip bags, etc always open! Thus, our food goes stale faster and there's a good chance I will bonk my head on an open door. Sheesh. Boys.

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  36. Oh my goodness. Don't you just love all our quirks.

    I know I make my husband crazy with my quirks. He drives me nuts when he does laundry. There is no sorting and when I go to put things away. It will be our towels, baby socks, underwear, a random tshirt, and a sweatshirt. Drives me nuts!

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