Monday, March 21, 2011

Are You A Yard Work Widow?

Always one to give credit where credit is due, the minute Lindsey announced on Twitter that she was going to be a "lawn widow" for the weekend, I immediately thought, "Oh my god! That's it! That's totally what it's like! I have to write about this." Especially considering the sole fact that just minutes before her announcement, The Husband had left on a mission to rent an aerator. Thus started a little wifely commiseration about life as a Yard Work Widow.

Ladies, if your husbands (boyfriends, fianc├ęs, significant others, etc.) are anything like ours, then you know exactly what we're talking about. It's no secret that men love their lawn. It's almost as if there is an unspoken contest in ever suburban neighborhood as to what guy can have their street's best lawn. Dare I say it, but it's almost as if the length of grass and greenness of each blade is a direct correlation to the size of their... lawnmower

What is it with men and their lawn? Literally, the minute the temperature rose above fifty degrees this weekend, I swear every single man on our block ventured outside to seed, mow, water, tend, clip or lop. And then, amidst all of their seeing, tending and mowing, they would all congregate in the middle of the street, beers in hand, nodding in agreement as they discussed what us women could only imagine

Hours. And hours. And hours. That's the amount of time The Husband spent working on our lawn this weekend. All the while? Carter, Sullivan and I played and walked and ate and played some more. It was as if The Husband was commandeered by some alternate universe. A universe in which no one else existed. Just him and his lawn. 

I have a fairly good idea that this is how life on the weekends will be, at least until it's time to head to the beach for the weekend. Good thing there's no grass there. Only sand. Because I don't think I could handle being a Yard Work Widow all summer long. 

Oh, did you ask if I wanted to slit-seed and aerate? Oh, no thank you, Honey. Pushing that gas-powered 300lb. machine all over the yard looks like a man's work anyway. Thanks for thinking of me though! 

So, are you a Yard Work Widow? How do you cope? Is there a support group for women like us? If not, I'm thinking of starting one. Mimosas all around.



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18 comments :

  1. YES! oh.my.gosh. i relate all too well! my husband used to maintain other peoples yards for them. working like 12 hr days sometimes....*that's* how much he loved it. oy!
    tonight, his plans include doing the yard. no joke. and the neighbors. pray for me ;)

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  2. I'm borderline obsessed with my yard too..well, not my 'yard' (hello townhouse living? sucks), but my garden! and Declan is too--so PRE BABY we used to go out and really enjoy doing all that stuff together. Like, we spent hours buying new flowers, mulch, expanding our garden, planting,etc. Then last year? Miss E arrived and that all went to the crapper. This year? Ill be damned if I dont do my garden. And Emeline will be out there with us, in her wagon, OR SOMETHING. So, I say you go out and hang out with him :)

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  3. Oh I totally feel you on this one. We don't have grass in our new house yet but he's always outside doing something with the trees or gutters or God knows what else. It's like itcs a weekday and Natalie and I are home alone!

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  4. Umm remember that super cute pic of me & kp that I tweeted last week? We were out doing yard work with daddy! Hey if thats how we get family time I'll take it! Plus all I really did was pick up sticks & look pretty anyway

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  5. My stepmom says shes a lawn widow haha

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  6. This cracks me up because it's so true! I will wander out from time to time, pick up a thing or too, ooo and awe over what he's up to and then find my own project elsewhere.

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  7. We dont have a lawn just yet. But I have this feeling like I will be tending to it, rather than the hubby :) xxxoo

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  8. I didn't even tweet the worst part.. Adam mows at least 6 other lawns around town! Mainly businesses now, but from March through November, he is coming home from work, packing up the lawn mower, and heading out to do others' chores. I guess the extra income is nice, but sheesh! It gets to be a bit too much. He has even asked the neighbor if he could cut down one of her trees so that more sunlight hits our backyard. Crazies..

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  9. Love this! I am also a widow. And "lucky me" my hubby owns an aerator! He's hardcore! haha! But I really dont mind it. It usually motivates me to do more inside, while he is working outside!

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  10. It's almost the opposite in our house. Brad still does all the heavy lifting in yard work..anything that requires a machine, and then he has to help with all my "ideas"...like digging up half the backyard with a shovel and a rake when I'm 5 months pregnant b/c I want a garden. Or planting the random plants I buy at Home Depot that "I'm sure" will look great in our yard. In truth, the best feature of our yard is that it's mowed.

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  11. Umm can your husband come take care of our yard? Haha because us three ladies have no idea what we're doing.

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  12. My husband is a Landscape Architect, like he designs landscapes as his JOB. So, yeah - Yard Work Widow basically defines me. What time should I be over for mimosas? Haha!

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  13. Sigh. I wish my husband was more into taking care of the lawn and outside stuff. We have a guy who comes and cuts, fertilizes and does the weed treatments for us. Hubs will trim the shrubs, etc., but my dad was always obsessed with how the lawn looked and was constantly outsided taking care of it, so I sort of expected that when I gott married. Ha! His work schedule is such that he'd be doing a lot of the work at night in the dark, so I do have to cut him a break. But I am the one who plants and takes care of our vegetable garden!

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  14. Definitely! Hubby's bad, but my Dad was WORSE. He had a special "beer bath" for the grass! NO LIE!!!

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  15. so funny! i never knew what to call it but i am so on the same page. We are still getting stupid snow here so the official lawn care has not started BUT when it does my husband will be ALL over it!! he definitely plans ahead for what direction he will mow..horizontal lines...vertical lines....checkerboard....off to the right...off to the left. it is ridiculous but i totally buy into the whole yard snob thing - it just makes the house look so much better :)

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  16. I'm pretty sure my husband is the only one NOT obsessed with the lawn. Which is good and bad. Good for me, bad for our lawn...bad for our image around the neighborhood, haha!

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  17. As I was making dinner tonight and B was outside in the yard, I thought of this post. I read it yesterday and was getting ready to comment but B was, well, in the yard, and I was called to a kidlet emergency or something. Ugh. My name is Gina and I'm a yard work widow.

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  18. Love this post! My hubby is obsessed with our lawn it's crazy! What's even worse is all the talk of what he's going to do, apparently I should be excited he's going be aerating...um not so much.

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