Always one to give credit where credit is due, the minute Lindsey announced on Twitter that she was going to be a "lawn widow" for the weekend, I immediately thought, "Oh my god! That's it! That's totally what it's like! I have to write about this." Especially considering the sole fact that just minutes before her announcement, The Husband had left on a mission to rent an aerator. Thus started a little wifely commiseration about life as a Yard Work Widow.
Ladies, if your husbands (boyfriends, fiancés, significant others, etc.) are anything like ours, then you know exactly what we're talking about. It's no secret that men love their lawn. It's almost as if there is an unspoken contest in ever suburban neighborhood as to what guy can have their street's best lawn. Dare I say it, but it's almost as if the length of grass and greenness of each blade is a direct correlation to the size of their... lawnmower.
What is it with men and their lawn? Literally, the minute the temperature rose above fifty degrees this weekend, I swear every single man on our block ventured outside to seed, mow, water, tend, clip or lop. And then, amidst all of their seeing, tending and mowing, they would all congregate in the middle of the street, beers in hand, nodding in agreement as they discussed what us women could only imagine.
Hours. And hours. And hours. That's the amount of time The Husband spent working on our lawn this weekend. All the while? Carter, Sullivan and I played and walked and ate and played some more. It was as if The Husband was commandeered by some alternate universe. A universe in which no one else existed. Just him and his lawn.
I have a fairly good idea that this is how life on the weekends will be, at least until it's time to head to the beach for the weekend. Good thing there's no grass there. Only sand. Because I don't think I could handle being a Yard Work Widow all summer long.
Oh, did you ask if I wanted to slit-seed and aerate? Oh, no thank you, Honey. Pushing that gas-powered 300lb. machine all over the yard looks like a man's work anyway. Thanks for thinking of me though!
So, are you a Yard Work Widow? How do you cope? Is there a support group for women like us? If not, I'm thinking of starting one. Mimosas all around.