Saturday, December 11, 2010

Just When I Thought Being A Mom Couldn't Get Any More Gross...

I've been peed on. I've been pooped on. I've been vomited on. And that was all before becoming a Mom. I used to be a nurse, remember? I've cleaned up spit-up and even caught it in my hands a time or two. I've sucked boogies and as of late, I've sucked a LOT of boogies. But one thing I haven't done? Is suck boogies with my mouth. Yes, you read that correctly and if you're not thoroughly grossed out, I'll explain how. And no, it's not nearly as bad as you're currently imagining. I promise.



I wrote here about how much I hated using the traditional boogie sucker. Now, clearly I'm aware that I could never, ever suck Carter's brains out through his nose, or somehow manage to suck up even just an eyeball, but despite those allayed fears, I still can't stand to stick that blue syringe bulb up Carter's little nosey.


I had seen a couple of alternative boogie suckers in stores and online, one of which was made by Graco and required batteries. I was all set to order this sucker, literally, off of Diapers(dot)com but after having read less than stellar reviews, I set out to find the sucker that received five stars. From nearly 33 mommy reviewers. And after a few clicks, Alleluia, I found it. The Nosefrida. Let me tell you, internet friends, 33 internet mommies do not lie.


Can we take a minute and talk about the Swedes? These geniuses invented the Nosefrida and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sharing C's cold with him, I would kiss the inventor of the Nosefrida on the mouth. Maybe even sneak 'em some tongue. First the pacemaker, then the ultrasound and now the Nosefrida? These Swedes are on a freakin' roll!


I had all intents to photograph myself modeling the Nosefrida. But since we share everything in the M household, including this godforsaken cold, my nose resembles that of Rudolph (how festive!) and with all of you in mind, thought I might spare you that horrific picture.



See that red tip there? That ends goes in my mouth. See the other end there? The one that looks like a plastic test tube? That piece goes right up against C's nostril. Or his nare, if you're a medical nerd like me. Did you catch that? Absolutely nothing has to go UP my son's nose. Momma loves her some less invasive boogie-sucking.




More importantly, so does Carter. Humming the ABC's, because well, one can't really sing while trying to simultaneously suck boogies from their son's nose, and a few quick inhales later, the boogies are sucked and Carter is a happy little man.


And for those psycho mommies out there just like yours truly, the nice thing about the clear plastic test tube-y end? You can get quite a good gander at the junk that's coming out of your son's nose. Now, I'm sure you're all wondering, "but wait, don't you get snot in your mouth? that's gross!" Yes, that would be gross, however it's impossible. Not only could the boogies never, ever, ever make their way up that long skinny piece of plastic tubing, but there's also a handy, dandy antimicrobial filter in place so that germs aren't shared on either end. How freaking awesome is that?*




You know, once you can get past the idea of using your mouth to suck boogies out of your son's nose.

* I was in no way compensated for the review of the Nosefrida. This is just a post, from one new Mom to the interwebs, who made a fabulous discovery of a boogie-sucker  and just plain ol' wanted to share. If you're dying to own your own Nosefrida, you can find it at Diapers(dot)com. Happy boogie-sucking!

11 comments :

  1. I saw that when I was registering and was amazed at all the crazy good reviews. SO funny! How the heck do you clean it out though?

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  2. Haha! I love your witty personality with everything you post. I hope the household gets to feeling better!

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  3. I'm obvi a mom and I even cringed a little while reading this, AND i had poop all smeared down my leg last week. So I shouldn't be faint of heart. Apparently I am. But I can't lie--I totally went looking for a new boogie-sucker last week and ended up with some cheap ass thing that I'm pissed at myself for buying. They were out of the the nosefrida which I KNEW was the best one out there.

    Glad to know it works, though.

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  4. I heard of this last week and really want to order it!

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  5. Thanks for sharing Ashley! I'll definitely have to keep this product in mind :) And I loved your explanation ha!

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  6. So, the mechanism that keeps the boogies from entering my mouth also keeps the vomit from entering the baby's nose? :) This is worth a try. Kate and I struggle with the snot sucker bulb. I got one of the battery powered ones, but haven't even opened it.

    BTW, I'm sure you already know this, as you are a fellow diapersdotcom freak, but 6-packs of Alimentum are (and have been) on sale for $39. Can't beat it!

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  7. Oh my goodness. I don't think I could do that. Maybe I'll get over it. But that is intense. I'm officially scared and praying my son never gets a cold (yeah right)

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  8. As I am currently battling the booga,as we like to call it, I will def be checking out this new invention. Davis hates the boogie bulb too!

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  9. Wow! By the time I have a kid, parenting is going to be a cinch. Thanks to the Sweds of course!

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  10. I have three kids, pregnant with my fourth. And very little grosses me out. But, before I got to the "you don't get boogies in your mouth" part of the post? I may have thrown up in my mouth a little.

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  11. i would definitely have to conquer the fact that i'm actually on the other end sucking boogers out of little man's nose before i could use this! i don't mind the blue syringe so far, though. maybe when nolan actually gets a cold i'll be singing a different tune?

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