It's shortly after 11am on Friday.
With my belly band wound tighter than Christina Aguilera's latest weave, I make my way downstairs after what can only be described as the best shower I've ever taken, also known as The First Shower Taken In My Own Shower After Major Abdominal Surgery And Four Days In The Hospital.
I'm suffering the first of the day's many Major Hot Flashes that simultaneously causes me to break out into a full body sweat complete with waves of nausea and leaves me freezing with my teeth set to chattering.
Upon sensing me walk into the room, Maclane starts stirring as it's about time for his thirty-second breakfast of the day.
Upon seeing The Husband sneak into the cabinet beneath the sink, C spots the bubbles and OHMYGOD-DID-SOMEONE-SAY-BUBBLES? He immediately starts yelling, "Bubbles? Please? Bubbles? Mom? Bubbles? Mommy? Mama? Bubs? Bubbles?"
Maclane's stirring increases with every octave screamed louder and louder by his older brother.
Sheepie suddenly remembers that nobody fed him breakfast. He conveniently forgets that there are other members of our household quite capable of feeding him "brunch" and has set himself to following me around the kitchen with his head shoved up my butt.
Remember, it's shortly after 11am.
Newborn stirring. Bubble screaming. Sheepie is starving.
I'm sweating and nauseous. And nauseous and freezing.
And for the love of all things there is no coffee made.
Husband, conveniently decides now is the time to ask all about how newborns excrete bilirubin.
Under normal circumstances? I'd have indulged and gracefully explained using my vast medical knowledge.
Instead? I cried.
Welcome to being a family of four. I know this is the first of many family meltdowns.