Friday, March 30, 2012

Well Motherhood, Just Go On And Kick My Ass Why Dontchya?

Motherhood has certainly had it's kick-my-ass moments these past twenty months but I have to say that nothing could have prepared me for Wednesday's events. 

Remember that nasty Man Plague I wrote about here? Well, after it attacked poor, sweet Husband the piece of shit moved onto the weakest, most innocent member of the family as it ferociously made it's way through C's system early Wednesday afternoon. 

Despite quarantining The Husband off from the rest of the family and obsessively wiping down every orifice and crevice of our house with Lysol wipes, that damned virus still managed to claim another member of the M family. And Loyals? It was not pretty. 

Our day started off just like every other. An early trip to the grocery store followed by a delicious breakfast of strawberries and french toast sticks, a romp in the playroom and before I knew it, it was time for a nap. 

I carried C up to his crib and laid him down at 1:15pm. Sick with an upper respiratory infection of my own, I decided to lay down in our room (directly across the hall from the nursery) and hopefully sleep away some of my own sickies. 

1:40pm. That's when I heard it. The Cry. Moms, you know the cry I'm talking about. It wasn't the "I'm frustrated cry," or the "I'm lonely cry," or the "I don't wan't to take a nap right now cry." It was "Oh my god what just happened to me Mom? Hurry up, come help me cry." 

The smell hit me like a ton of bricks before I even made it to the hallway. 

I silently muttered a prayer of "please God, don't let it be a lot of vomit" as I went to survey the damage and scoop poor, sweet C out of his crib. 

The vomit was. everywhere. 

Lovie, Ugly Doll, Crib Rail Covers. C's pillow. C's clothes. Everything was down for the count, covered in a thick red mess of half-digested strawberry and curdled milk. And then there was my toddler- with big fat tears streaming down his face. 

Oh, just rip my heart out. 

I quickly scooped C up, carefully removed his clothes and began wiping him down with a baby wipe. As I sat him on the floor, I began to disrobe the crib. All the while, trying to ignore my own bile that was rising in my throat. 

You see, I'm a "puker when others puke" kind of girl and it's not pretty. 

Before I knew it, C was crouched on the floor in the middle of his room, whimpering and touching his mouth. I knew this wasn't over. I could only hope and pray it would be quick. 

Every 10-15 minutes for the next several hours, this continued. Just as he would wind down and rest his head on my shoulder, the whimpering would begin again. 

In the beginning, I just crouched next to him on the floor, rubbing his back, telling him what a good boy he was and that it was OK to be sick. He would clutch my hair, my shoulder, my knee- anything to help him keep his balance as he threw up on the floor. 

We went through blanket after blanket after blanket. 

Bathroom rug after bathroom rug.

I tried introducing The Puke Mixing Bowl but all it did would frustrate him to have a large pink melamine bowl shoved in his face. I'm sorry, C-man. 

I finally broke down around Hour Three when all he wanted to do was sleep. Between heaving he would look up at me and in the tiniest voice, cry "Night Night, Mama? Night Night?" 

Oh, for the love. Just rip my heart out, stab it and then shred it into a thousand and one pieces. 

Never in my life have I felt so awful. So helpless. Like I would give anything to see those bright blue eyes light up again. I prayed after every throw up that it would be his last. I even tried bartering with God. 

"I'll throw up one thousand times if C could just catch a break." 

All of my nursing knowledge flew out the window. All I could think about was wet diapers. And for several hours there were none. I tried to feed C an ice pop or two. Those miniature ones that he would beg for as he would stand in front of the fridge and hang by it's handle.

After a few bites, the retching would take over again. The nurse in me kept track on my phone. 

Finally, C was able to fall asleep on the floor of the family room. It was now shortly after 4:30pm. He slept the longest sleep since The First Vomit at 1:40pm. I breathed a sigh of relief as I left his side for the first time, only to begin what would be the most horrific laundry attempt ever. 

I threw out the crib sheet. 

At 5:15, C woke up only to throw up again. And again. And again. Just when I thought it was over. Thankfully, by 6pm it was. 

An ice pop stayed down. Followed by a few sips of watered-down Gatorade. And then another ice pop. And another. 

Please, if the kid had asked for a pony, I would have been off to the nearest horse farm. He wanted more ice pops? He could have the damned box for all I cared. 

Finally, a saltine or two. 

We had survived the first Toddler Vomit Virus. You know that scene in The Exorcist when Linda Blair's head rotates? I seriously thought that's where we might be headed. 

Puking toddlers are the pits and I wouldn't wish Little Human Vomit on my worst enemy. Sure, I know it was "just a stomach bug" and I darn well know it won't be the last, but that doesn't mean it was any less horrifying.

Watching your tiny little toddler, so vulnerable, retching over and over, with no understanding as to why he feels the way he does. 

Oh, Motherhood. You cruel, cruel wench. 

Determined to spend the next day outside of the house as much as we could, Carter, who woke up, back as his usual bright-eyed self, couldn't help but stop and smell the tulips... with what I hope was absolutely no recollection of the day's previous events. 


  1. Poor Carter! And poor, POOR Mommy!

    We did this dance, Kitty and I, a couple of months ago. Between the hours of 11pm and 6am, she maintained her orderly, first-born tendencies - every 15 minutes on the nose. Bless her heart - right before it would happen, her eyes would widen and she would whisper a panicked, "Uh-oh, mommy! Uh-oh!" I'm crying just thinking about it! UTTER HELL!!!

    So glad you made it through - and so glad C has such an amazing mama!

  2. I just want to say I love his hat in the last pic :) I'm glad he's feeling better!

  3. Oh my god, the poor thing! I'm so glad he's feeling better.

    My niece didn't have her first real vomit-sick fest until she was three.

    I thought my sister's heart was going to tear out when Cam was crying and going, "Mama why is this happening to me?!" and man it lasted DAYS.

  4. Oh mama that sounds awful, just awful! So glad it didn't last much longer!!! Happy to hear he's all better! Big hugs and slobbery kisses from KP

  5. This broke my heart just reading!!! poor sweet C! And poor mama, that motherhood I tell ya, a true wench :(
    I am praying the toddler sickies stay away for a long, long time.

  6. Bless his little heart! I hate that! Being pregnant makes it that much worse having to clean up. I would have thrown the crib sheet away too!

  7. Aww bless his little heart and yours too. Hope everyone is feeling better noe.

  8. God bless his sweet self! Poor thing! I'm so sorry! But I'm so glad he's feeling better! Shew! Stomach bugs are NO JOKE! Here's to a healthy weekend!!!!!

  9. I just cried remembering what it was like when we had our double whammy stomach virus. I hope you were spared!

  10. Oh mama, I'm so sorry y'all had to go through this - how awful! So glad C's back to his normal happy self!

  11. Ohmigoodness, this is no fun at all! I'm so sorry and so hoping C feels much much better today!

  12. oh man, this actually breaks my heart! glad he is doing better :)

  13. I literally exclaimed, "shit." after I read this. You poor doll. Puking is THE worst. Tied with first place, is watching those you love do so. :( UGH. Hopefully you could rescue Lovie!


  14. oh no, poor little guy.
    glad to hear that he's doing better, its never any fun when your baby is sick

  15. I have not had that experience yet, thank goodness. We did have one puke incident but it was only because Hadley's cousins spun her around in the chair one too many times.

    It's quite amazing the amount of vomit a toddler's stomach can hold.

  16. This was the week after valentine's day here last year (2011). Started with our oldest, moved to youngest and then hit my husband and myself at the same time....WORST.WEEK.EVER!!!!

    Blankets, sheets and towels...thrown away b/c trying to get a 2 year old and 11 month old to throw up in the toilet or bucket wasn't unfortunately happened all over the you said...every 10-15 minutes.

    I'm so sorry you all had to go through it, because I prayed and prayed that it would just go's was just horrible and now I want to stop thinking about it b/c I never wish that again....on us...or anyone!!!!!!

    Hope you all feel better soon!!!!!!

  17. Oh no! Poor baby C and mama. Glad he is better and hopefully you were spared. This scares me for our first toddler sickies!

  18. OMG...poor Carter and poor Momma! I nearly puked reading the story! We have not had the pukies yet, but we have had the runs, and it was pretty painful to deal with as well. Poor kid was terrified to have his diaper changed even after it was all over the the awful rash from the sh-t went away!

  19. Holy Toledo, this whole post breaks my heart--for you and C! I'm glad he is feeling better and that picture is adorable! Hopefully you are recovering from the ordeal okay, as well!

  20. I'm so glad he's feeling better! We haven't had toddler throw up yet and I just dread the day! Poor guy.

  21. I'm so glad he's feeling better. We haven't had a puking virus yet, but the colds are enough to keep me sleeping on the floor next to the crib.

  22. oh AP, Carsyn had this (though not as bad) several weeks ago. She handled it much better than myself (who went to the ER at 1:00am demanding fluids). Its the WORST!! Praying your whole family gets through it quickly!

  23. oy. it is awful, isn't it? yuck, yuck, yuck. and it just gets everywhere! i'm so sorry y'all went through it. i hoe it's done for good!

  24. I am dreading the first time that P gets a stomach bug because I can't imagine being there, unable to help her. Throwing up is one of my MOST HATED THINGS ever!!!

  25. Poor sweet sweet Carter...and momma too! So heartbreaking....and now that you have it too? Even worse! Hope you are all better soon!

  26. ugh. WE did that a few weeks ago. It was awful. Ours hit in the middle of the night, so we were up all night. 2 nights later, mama and daddy had it too. The next morning, Fred said he felt badly that M hadn't been outside much. I said, at this point, our mission is to keep this child alive. We're all going into the one room we can lock and we will be watching TV all day until one of us can move again.

    I saw your post on Twitter-hope that means it hasn't it you!

    BTW-We tossed two crib sheets. I never thought about that when I registered. NExt time, I'll buy extras for that reason.

  27. Ugh, god. I've been there a few times... it rips your heart out like that each time.

    But what a sweet photo of him smelling the flowers!

  28. Aw. Poor Carter! Glad to hear he is feeling better, and that you didn't puke from all the puke. That photo of him with the tulips is darling. :)

  29. OH MY! I am all choked up reading this! Poor C-baby :( O got car sick on our last trip and had those same tears, plus quivery lip-- Like, "What's wrong with me, mama???"

    So glad he's better! There's nothing worse than that helpless feeling when they're sick.

  30. OH MY! I am all choked up reading this! Poor C-baby :( O got car sick on our last trip and had those same tears, plus quivery lip-- Like, "What's wrong with me, mama???"

    So glad he's better! There's nothing worse than that helpless feeling when they're sick.

  31. AW what a sad story! My 16 month old got the stomach virus while we were on vacation in Colorado. It was the saddest worse time yet. It seriously ruined our vacay....

    I am glad sweet Carter is doing better. Wonderful thing about Toddler's is they bounce back! Hope you dont get sick tho mama!!

  32. Poor little guy! And poor momma, that has to be the hardest part - seeing and not being able to do anything. I'm not excited about this part of motherhood to come! :(

  33. Poor thing! I'm glad he's feeling better. I know some moms like to have a stack of shower curtain liners on hand just for this occasion, to use instead of blankets. Lay the kid on one near you, and just rinse the other one off quickly in the shower, dry w/ a towel if needed, and maybe spray w/ a bit of Lysol if needed. If the vomiting is less frequent and more drawn out, try playing "magic carpet ride" with the shower curtain, or setting it up in front of the tv.

  34. Oh my goodness I hope carter is feeling better!!!! Poor little guy!

  35. Oh, Momma --- bless your heart (and C's too of course!). Praying you guys have had a low key weekend and chance to fully recover. Good Lord, being sick is a whole other ball game w/ minis isn't it? It shouldn't be possible for an entire family to get sick... should NOT. And............. I have to say........ WHAT THE HELL? You didn't tell me that I didn't get sick days doing this stay at home momma gig?! ;) ;) ;)


  36. awww your poor poor baby! That must have been so tough! I'm glad he's feeling better. You must have been exhausted. What an ordeal!

  37. Poor guy! Glad everyone is on the mends and feeling better. What a day.

  38. Poor C-man!! :-( I'm right there with you on the vomit - animal vom, human vom, I can't deal. Thank God the boyfriend is an EMT so he's used to bodily fluids. Hoping that will come in handy in the future!


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