Thursday, November 11, 2010

An Open Letter to the Makers of Men's Business Socks.

... or whatever you call them. Dress socks. Suit socks. Impossible-to-match socks.

Dear Makers of Men's... Unmatchable Socks,

   Why in god's name do you make it near impossible to match men's socks? My husband wonders why he has a sock drawer full of loose socks and I had to break him the unfortunate news that it's all your fault. I've never had a problem distinguishing my colors and the last time I checked, I am not colorblind. Go ahead, ask my opthamologist. I pass that silly "I Spy" numbers and letters test while looking through that rather expensive pair of binoculars every time. So what gives?

    Never in my life have I seen a Navy that's so close to Black. Or an Olive that's so close to Khaki. Could you embroider the first letter of the name of the color that the sock truly is.. on the toe of the sock? My husband would be grateful. Not only because he would then have a drawer full of neatly matched and rolled up socks, but also because I could then forgo my habit of laying out every single sock on our kitchen floor, in natural daylight, to try and find its mate.

  This would also give me more time to watch Ellen. Thank you, kindly.

Ashley Paige


  1. This is why I only let Skip had two kinds of socks...white athletic socks and black dress socks. Solves all problems!

  2. Derek teases me for folding up his matched pairs... little does he know Im doing him a HUGE favor. Also, it helps me too as I always get up before him and when his socks are already paired up, it cuts down on lights that may wake me up.

  3. ELLLLLLEN!!!!!!!!!

    O how I love "WHats wrong with these photos, photos"

  4. ooh my gosh - youre hysterical! it's so true!!

  5. I completely feel your pain. My husband has all those gold toe socks and some of them are the same color, but they may be thicker, have a different weave, or be longer than the others. WTF... Major pain in the butt.

    BTW: My maiden name is Carter, so I'm a major fan of your little man's name and am hoping for a little boy of my own that I can call Carter!


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