I laid down alongside you in bed, like I do most nights, and as you asked for your "usual's," Hippy, water and your beloved nunnie, I took a deep breath, prepared myself for ensuing toddler wrath and explained to you how I thought we may have left all of the nunnies at the beach house. That we didn't have any more nunnies in our house here.
I waited for the tears and as your mouth turned down at the corners and tears began to prick your eyes, my heart began to ache. I quickly ran my fingers through your curly blonde hair and asked you not to be sad. I asked if you thought that perhaps you could try going to sleep without your nunnie tonight. That maybe you could hug tight your animal friends instead.
My sweet big boy.
You took some serious time to think about my proposition. You glanced around your bed and fingered Hippy and Puppy. You patted Mister White Bear's head. Then, you looked up at me, so sweet and thoughtful and brave and you said, "OK, Mom. I do it."
I squeezed you so tight and as I did, I could feel the lone nunnie that I had tucked into the waistband of my pj pants. The one that I tucked there just in case. Just in case you weren't ready. I would have pulled it out in a heartbeat.
But you are so brave. And smart. And so big. You continue to amaze me.
I promised to take you shopping for a new toy in the morning. We talked about what you would buy. Maybe a train or a truck. Maybe some water balloons.
This was much harder for me than for you. It was the last hint of baby about you. My first baby. The one who made me Mama.
Now you're a boy. Not just any boy, though. You're my sweet big boy. My heart.
I am so proud of you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Edited to add because lot's of questions have started rolling in:
- I had "planned" to take away the pacifier when Carter turned two but being as that was only a month after his brother was born, I didn't want to drastically alter his world any more. Not to mention that I didn't want him to think it was "ok" for the baby to get a pacifier but there he was being punished for having one. So? We kept it.
- Carter turns three next week. I wanted and knew that I needed to wait to try this until he could reason and understand a little better. Any earlier and I know it would have resulted in tantrums and tears and again, it wasn't hurting anyone. So? We kept it.
- He has done so awesome. The next morning we drove to Target after breakfast and we talked about how he gets to pick out a toy because he's a big boy and the nunnies are "all gone," emphasis on the "all gone" part. He slept through the night just fine, never waking or asking for one and he went the entire next day without searching for or asking for it. I have my doubts that it could really be this easy- but so far, so good. One day at a time.
I'm trying not to stress the poor kid out!
- The next morning when I was explaining all of this to my mom on the phone- talking about how proud I am of him, etc. I started crying. Seriously. I am such a mom.
- If we return to the beach house and he remembers that's where we allegedly left all of his nunnies, we'll cross that bridge then. Of course we'll look all throughout the house and we won't be able to find them. Hopefully that will be enough. Maybe we'll just blame the cleaning lady next. I'm kidding.