Thursday, March 11, 2010

I'm a Liar. A Big, Fat Liar. Just so I can park my car in the garage.

I have several, several pairs of black dance pants laying on the floor of the passenger seat of my car. Why? Because I have to lie to get into my parking garage at work. I know, I know. Sometimes even I think my life is a big, fat joke. But I couldn't make this up if I tried.

I am not allowed to park in the same garage as the building I work in. It's supposed to be for patients only. However, I don't think many patients drive Ford F150's with all types of construction materials hanging out of the beds. Yes, construction workers, I mean YOU! I see you sneaking into the parking garage before the security guard takes his post out front of the gate. Truth be told, I'm insanely jealous. I would try to do the same thing, but that would entail waking up even earlier than my already 5am wake-up call.

However, I digress.

It makes me giggle, albeit out of frustration, that I have to wake up in the mornings before work, shower, dress only in my proper scrub attire from the waist up, throw on my black North Face fleece, zip it up to my chin, and don black dance pants, so that when I pull up to the parking garage gate and the security guard leans into my car, he will take note that I am wearing black yoga pants and indeed, could never be a nurse working in the building, because no sane nurse would wear COMPLETELY HALF OF THE WRONG OUTFIT TO WORK ONLY TO GET AWAY WITH PARKING IN HER OWN DOGGONE PARKING GARAGE.

At least that's better than when I used to lie and tell the guard at the gate that I was there for my daily radiation treatments.

Once he waves me through the gates, I quickly drive down to the basement level parking where I proceed to park in the furthest corner of the lot and stealthily change out of my yoga pants into the pair of navy blue scrub bottoms that I had strategically shoved into the bottom of my handbag. Don't worry, I've already canvased the area for security cameras. Whew.

So wait, why do I do this? Because I'm crazy? Perhaps. However, I would like to believe it's done out of convenience. My other parking option consists of parking in a satellite lot, five long city blocks away from my building where I will be charged fifteen dollars a day to park. FIFTEEN! It's ludacris, I tell you!

It's bad enough I have to pay ten dollars a day to wear the wrong clothes to work and lie to the securty guard.

Only six more days...

27 comments :

  1. LOL, this is hilarious. I would do the exact same!!

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  2. HAHA!!! You are too funny :) I would do the same thing.

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  3. OMG! You had me rolling laughing that is so funny and sounds like something I would try to pull.

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  4. hahah you gotta do what you gotta do! I'd probably do the same thing!

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  5. I would do that too...for sure! And, $10 a day!!!?? WOW! I thought my parking garage was expensive!

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  6. I think your pregnancy makes the best excuse! Clearly you can't be expected to walk five blocks! ;)

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  7. I would lie too!


    You're almost done!

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  8. I love this story! I would so do the same thing.

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  9. CRACKING. UP. you are one SMART cookie! ;)

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  10. HA! At least it won't last much longer! ;)

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  11. Too funny - creative points for sneaking into the garage - good work!

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  12. LOL too funny! Though I have to say I'd do the same thing if I had to pay 15 dollars a day to park at work!! :)

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  13. This is hilarious and very clever!

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  14. Wow - I can't believe that they make you pay for parking! Some hospitals in Boston did that, but thankfully I worked at one that provided free, on-site parking. Sheesh!

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  15. Id be lying if I said thats something I wouldnt do. Its so me!

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  16. Only you my darling daughter

    Kim-mom

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  17. OMG! Seriously, he doesn't recognize you after awhile though?

    This reminded me of one day when I was still working at the hospital and was 7-8 months pg. There was a lot right outside the ER, which they had just changed from staff parking to patient only parking. I was running late for work, so I just parked there anyway. As soon as I get to the door, the stupid safety director is standing there and tells me to move my car "right now!" Seriously? He couldn't even give a pregnant woman a break!?

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  18. So funny, can just imagine spotting a heavily pregnant lady getting changed in the depths of some parking lot!
    hee hee
    xx

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  19. So funny, can just imagine spotting a heavily pregnant lady getting changed in the depths of some parking lot!
    hee hee
    xx

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  20. 6 more days start parking a little closer with each that passes!

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  21. This seriously made me laugh out loud. I absolutely love it!

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