College Hot And Not Knocked Up in 2013

In the last thirty six months I have been pregnant twice, gained and lost over 100 pounds, carried two babies full term, underwent two major abdominal surgeries in the form of planned C-sections and spent the last six months mothering two children two and under.  

As we all know, that last part pretty much means that I've sprouted more gray hairs and forehead wrinkles than I would care to admit at the ripe old age of twenty-nine. 

2012 may as well have been named The Year Of The Kids. I spent the better half of the year pregnant, during which time I was spoiling, preparing and transitioning Carter before the arrival of Maclane in June. I was up two pants sizes with tatas that I could practically button up in the waistband of said pants. Since June my world has happily revolved around cultivating these two little boys, making it a personal goal of mine not to lose my shit before 2pm on any given day.

As much as I loathe the holiday that is New Year's Eve, as is customary around this time of year, I got to thinking about what I would like to accomplish in 2013. I could think of two things. 

1. Do not get pregnant. 

2. Make thirty look good. Like, really good. 

I would love a third baby. I really would. But I would also love to drink on my thirtieth birthday, preferably a stiff umbrella drink (or four) on one of my all-time favorite beaches. Fortunately, this also happens to be one of my husband's goals of 2013, to drink on the beach during my thirtieth birthday and we've begun planning our return trip to one of our favorite vacation spots. 

Do you know what else goes great with a stiff umbrella drink on the beaches of Turks and Caicos? Certainly not this mom-gut I'm rocking which brings me to the second item on my agenda, Make Thirty Look Good. Like, Really Good. 

To help with this I've eagerly jumped on the Join A Gym In The New Year Bandwagon but with a side of personal trainer to kick my admittedly-lazy ass in gear. I want to be a hot mom. I want my husband not to be able to keep his hands off of me. Not because the baby still sleeps in our bed and the frequency with which we do you know isn't near as frequent as it should could be but because I am so hot that he literally cannot keep his hands off of me.

We're talking college hot here, Loyals. College Hot. And I cannot be College Hot while growing a human being for the third time. Unless you're into that sort of thing. 

Therefore, I have aptly named 2013 "The Year of AP." 

It's time I get my shit together and actually put a little effort into me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little bit excited but I'm writing this out because I need to hold myself accountable.

Happy New Year, Loyals. Here's to being College Hot and Not Knocked Up in 2013.