Friday, November 29, 2013

You Do You And Move On.

Social media can be a double-edged sword sometimes. It's a great tool to market a business, connect with friends, match brands with bloggers or even spread awareness for a cause. It brings together like-minded communities in ways I will never be able to comprehend but at the same time, it is a malicious, judgement-driven mecca of individuals who, I can only imagine, like to judge that which they do not know, like or understand

Harsh? Perhaps, but if you're plugged in like I am, there's no doubt you've been witness to the judgment that's been flying over silly things like who's decorating for Christmas too early and not only who's decorating too early but who's carelessly and selfishly decorating with more than one Christmas tree! Or if you think that's crazy, try decorating one of those trees with a theme and you're just a bulls eye for the side eye. 

I'm sorry, say what? Apparently we've all taken a hiatus from judging mothers on their parenting tactics and now we're questioning (in a negative manner) their decorating choices.

Are you laughing yet? I am. It's one thing to have differing opinions. It's one thing to share them in an open-minded way, asking someone why they choose to do what they do. It's another thing to judge them because they just may be going above and beyond "the norm," or "the standard," whatever that is nowadays. 

Let's say I decide to have two Christmas trees this year. Let's take it one step further and pretend like I might even have one of them decorated completely in family ornaments and the other in some sort of "theme." 

Gasp!

Am I going to drag you by your ears into my home and make you sit and stare at my two trees? No way. Is it something that I grew up with? Absolutely not! We were always a one tree household and a family ornament tree at that! Personally? I would prefer to keep our family ornaments separate and as I mentioned earlier, will plan to put them on a separate tree when that time comes. Does this mean that I think you suck for putting all of your ornaments  on the same tree? Of course not! 

I'm sure you're tree is just as beautiful. This year, we aren't even putting ornaments on our tree(s) that have yet to be procured so stick that in your pipe and suck on it. I'd rather go ornament-less than have to constantly be on the defensive with a ball-obsessed 18 month old.

You want to have seven trees in your house? Go on with your bad Christmas self, I say. 

Just because you don't understand something or don't agree with something doesn't mean you need to make others feel poorly about themselves or their decisions to do it differently.

Now that Elf on the Shelf Season is upon us, The fur will surely fly on Pinterest and Social Media as mothers (and fathers!) all over the world are judged for creatively playing "Elf" each night for their kids. I'm tempted to pop some popcorn and watch the snivelry and snickering unfold. (Snivelry isn't even a real word but you can imagine what it would mean).  

But let's face it, I won't really have time for that because I'll be scouring Pinterest at the very last minute for ideas to move that damn elf around our house. 

All for the sake of (happily) making personal family traditions. 

Let's move onto, say, dressing up for Pre-School Drop Off. Prior to having a school-aged child, I didn't even know this was a Thing. Meaning, I wouldn't have given a second thought to dressing up (or down) to go drop off or pick my child up from school. That said, two mornings a week, I actually change out of my typical "comfy" uniform of black yoga pants, put a little elbow grease into applying mediocre make up and drop my kid off at school.

Is this small act done purposefully to make those who choose not to do this feel poorly about themselves? Not even in the slightest. To be honest, it's done to make me feel better about myself and my appearance. Not to sound selfish, but I haven't even given you, the Non-Dresser-Upper, nor anything else, a second thought. Especially at 7:00 in the morning. 

Does dressing up one or two mornings a week mean that I have my shit together or that I'm a better parent than someone else? Hell no! Half the time I come home from Pre-School pick up and immediately change back into that comfy uniform I described earlier. Does that make me a sham? I hope not, considering it's not exactly convenient to be crawling all over the floor with your kids playing trains in a dress and tights. But for that two hours in the morning when I was dressed up and my husband saw me leave the house in make up and "real clothes?" I felt mighty good. 

Some weeks? Dressing up doesn't even happen because it takes all the effort and energy I can muster to make sure my kid is fed and dressed appropriately for school. And by dressed I mean wearing underwear, socks and whatever clothing attire is appropriate for the season. Shorts in late November? Sorry, kid. I'm the Mom and I win this one.

Just because you don't understand something, don't agree with something or choose to do it differently, doesn't mean you need to make others feel poorly about themselves or their decisions to do it differently than you. 

Isn't that was makes this world exciting? The fact that we don't all walk around like drones, veritable carbon copies of our neighbors? 

Good god, that would bore me to death. You do you and move on.

 
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27 comments :

  1. When I was in high school my mom started putting up two trees....one for her and one for the family ornaments/presents to go under. We are also skipping the tree this year, with a baby on the way any time now and a two year old who has entered the 'must touch every.single.thing' stage I will skip the tree. :)
    Also I will probably dress up for preschool drop off when we get to that age. I enjoy being able to 'dress up' put in make up/do my hair those few times that we have to leave the house. Drs appointments I always look my best. Just to be able to say 'I got it together today' and so my husband can see me in make up and with non-ponytail hair when we gets home. :)
    But no worries, once the holidays are oven I'm sure people will go back to the mommy wars and judge each other for letting their kid do this and that. :/

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  2. Couldn't have said it better myself! I am constantly surprised in this day and age the amount of "judging" that people do. Don't get me wrong I have passed comment every now and then, I am not perfect but for goodness sake who cares! Actually that's wrong there is a house I used to pass all the time going to work and they had it decorated (on the outside) from about mid October. I honestly believe I can judge them for that and I think you would have seen the lights from space! I also think I passed comment on a photo you posted of your kids in their Xmas jumpers. I would presume though that everyone realised that comment was in fun haha.

    I am sick and tired of people judging other peoples lives, it makes me sick. I am quite happy living my life the way I want and I will decorate or not decorate in any way I see fit. People will judge me as I really do not go all out for Christmas. Being not only from Scotland but orginally from the Outer Hebrides (Gods own country as far as I am concerned) Christmas is not the big event, New Year (or Hogmany is!). My family go all out for that but do I judge others for not celebrating it? No I don't each to their own I say!! Sorry my mini rant over :)

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  3. I remember the year my mom put a tree in every room in the house and it was SO MUCH FUN. And maybe not this year, but next year for sure i will have more than one tree. It's not a judgment on anyone else. It actually has nothing to do with anyone else. Go figure! ;) And I've gotten some comments about dressing "up" for preschool drop off. If I'm dressed up it's because I actually have somewhere I have to go and the person I'm meeting probably doesn't want to see me in my pajamas.

    Can we talk about people judging Carrie Underwood because she's trying to replace Julie Andrews? Hahahahaha so ridiculous. So much judgment.

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  4. I always assume people who do this kind of judging are jealous, and just reaching to criticize anything you do. Obviously, people can have their own opinions about how they prefer to decorate their houses, but to call you selfish for it? Oh, that's just hilarious.

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  5. Why does the judging seem over the top this year? We always had trees in our rooms growing up plus the main one. I have several, in various sizes, in my small house now. But I LOVE Christmas and I LOVE my decorations. I'd leave them up all year if it was feasible! I don't really care what anyone else does. I have been a bit annoyed by those so upset with decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving. It doesn't make me any less thankful because Christmas is up. In my opinion putting up my decorations is far worse than stores open on Thanksgiving Day. Also, how do people have time to worry about this?

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  6. Why does the judging seem over the top this year? We always had trees in our rooms growing up plus the main one. I have several, in various sizes, in my small house now. But I LOVE Christmas and I LOVE my decorations. I'd leave them up all year if it was feasible! I don't really care what anyone else does. I have been a bit annoyed by those so upset with decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving. It doesn't make me any less thankful because Christmas is up. In my opinion putting up my decorations is far worse than stores open on Thanksgiving Day. Also, how do people have time to worry about this?

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  7. Those Mom's can't keep up with you AP. They wish that they had your heart, bod, and energy.

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  8. Faceless, nameless, 'haters',

    Please don't get it twisted. You know as well as I do, once the momentary thrill of anonymously hurling negativity passes, you're left with the fact you're a person who hates someone for simply living a life as she wants. There is no scarcity of joy in this world- hers will never clout the possibility of you one day getting off your ass and finding your own.

    As always AP, you go gurl.

    xoxo
    jroro

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  9. I 100% think in like 16 years our kids will discover we came up with all our awesome family traditions from Pinterest and have a melodramatic teenage breakdown and go get a tattoo or something. Can't you just see it now, "my whole childhood the birthday parties, games, elf on the shelf! Was all just you copying someone else's ideas?!" I'm afraid. At least we aren't having any girls!!! "No mom, I won't pose for a picture so you can post it on Facebook and Instagram and your blog".

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  10. Loved this post...soo true! I put up several trees, but don't judge people that only put up one. We do Elf on Shelf, but I don't think it's "lying to my kids". If they enjoy the magic, then so be it! :) Now it seems like people judge how you do Santa!!! Social media has pretty much confused some people on the meaning of "mind your own business." I agree, you do you, and I'll do me!

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  11. I just did a similar post to this a week or so ago, so I'm right there with you momma.

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  12. Boom! Took the thoughts right out of my head. Thank you AP for the laughs! :)

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  13. you just keep writing everything thats on my mind!!!!

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  14. Love your sass. And I put up three trees. All in the middle of November. So take that to all the Christmas police! :-)

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  15. This year, since we've moved yet again to a new town (and downsized yet again while saving to buy a house), I didn't even put up our tiny fake tree (which I loathe) and opted to make a tree out of pine cones and string our ornaments into garland and place it around the decorative door in the living room. I'ms sure there are some haters out there who have an issue with no trees at all lol!

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  16. This post is perfect! I've always thought that people who judge me are really just jealous. I do things to please my family. End of story. You want to knock me down for something, then have at it. Waste your energy!

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  17. True story. All of it. Love your perspective - thank you!

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  18. True story. All of it. Love your perspective - thank you!

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  19. Yes. Yes. Yes. As someone who did put up SEVEN trees year before last (I got on with my bad self!) I am with you on all accounts! More power to you!

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  20. I don't understand why people have to hate. You took the words right out of my mouth. My elf on the shelf skills are highly lacking (in fact, I'm thrilled I remembered to move him last night! but he has no name) and before we had Andrew, I was all about the one real tree and the fake one with a "theme" but now we're lucky if we got the one tree up!

    I don't understand why people have to judge others' traditions! Who cares?

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  21. I go to work in workout clothes.
    I rarely wear makeup.
    When I do I post it on insta.
    I don't have my tree up yet.
    My Elf hasn't flown in yet.
    Judge Away;)

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  22. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup.

    I can't even begin on this post.

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  23. I avoid Twitter for the most part for this very reason. It happens on Instagram as well, but I try to turn my eyes because it's a place I actually love to be. I've read several inspiring blog posts lately and stupidly scrolled to the comment section to be immediately hit in the face with comments that make me feel worse than when I showed up to read the blog post. Ridiculous. I can't fathom spending my day judging people but here I am judging the judgers ;)

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  24. You got it girl.....life is too short and way to busy for all that nonsense......well said!

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  25. Guuurrllll PREACH! This has been on my mind SO much lately.. ever since that GOMI post to be exact. I was SO shocked and really.. disappointed in humanity when I saw that people take time out of their days to be so hateful to people they read on the internet. (Sounded like jealousy to me).
    same with all this judging! I mean? Who gives a flip about how many trees one has etc. If someone reads or sees things online that makes them feel bad about themselves that is more of a personal problem than an issue of the poster having too many trees or too many elf activities …
    I see peeps on my blog roll doing whatever they do and I am happy for them! I find them interesting obvi or I would not be reading! Anyway.. I say all that to say you are SO RIGHT! "Snivelry" is the new " bullying"

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