Suddenly? There's a Drunk Midget Running Around My House.

I know. Just say it. I know you've all been thinking the same thing. "Yeah, this birthday party stuff sure was great and all, AP, but that's not why we love your blog. Where the heck is the snark?" 

And I'll admit, I haven't been feeling my snarkiest lately. I can't quite put a finger on why what with party planning, crazy in-law interventions, a child who spends approximately 14 hours of the day running around like a maniac. 

Lately it's just taken too much energy to be snarky. Blasphemy, I know.  

Now that the fluffy posts full of cupcakes and carnival decor are out of the way, I'm writing to tell you what life is like now that I have a Little Drunk Midget running amock. And no, this Little Drunk Midget isn't a sideshow leftover from C's birthday party, it's C himself. 

Ever since C has started walk running, he's been unstoppable. It took him approximately 45 seconds to realize that if he "walked" faster then he would most certainly arrive at his destination much sooner. 

Let's be clear. C's definition of walking is not the same as ours. In C's world, "walking" consists of taking on a drunken-like stumble and meandering through the house. Bobbing and weaving. Weaving and bobbing. 

If one was standing far enough away, they may actually mistake C for a drunken running midget. 

At least that's what Husband and I now lovingly refer to him as. The Little Drunk Midget. As in, "Honey, I think the Little Drunk Midget would like to eat dinner." Or my personal favorite, "Babe, I think it's time to give the Little Drunk Midget a bath." 

And since when were Little Drunk Midgets so damn opinionated? 

I think I want to exchange ours for one that doesn't stomp his feet when it's time to go Nigh-Nigh or stand at your feet screaming when it's past a certain Little Drunk Midget's bedtime.

Is there a store for this?

Happy Monday, Loyals.