I Dreamed a Dream...

via

Early on, I told you all that this would not always be an "oooh, awww, how cute" pregnancy blog. Well, this is going to be one of those posts. The "un-oooh-awww" kind. We need to talk dreams. Assinine, crazy, "what-the-eff" pregnancy dreams. Mine started around week 8 and I haven't been able to shake them since. Let's recap a few of my favorites, shall we?!

First dream:

I stumble upon a sleeping lion in my backyard. He's slumped up against the corner of the fence and he's not just any lion. He's the gigantic lion from Narnia. I say to myself, "Hm, sleeping lions never hurt anyone! I want to pet him!" And as I reach my hand out to pet him, he wakes up, freaks out and begins to chase me around the neighborhood. COPS car-chase style. Over fences, through swimming pools (I know, I know. Pretty athletic for a pregnant lady) until I finally wake up. Random? Yes.

Second dream:

I'm perusing the goods at a local thriftstore. I come across a coin purse. It's made of tie-dyed fabric and has a beaded panda bear face on the front of it. I don't use a coin purse, but have recently found the need for one since my current bag as taken on a good 5-7 pounds in loose change weight. Intrigued to see how much said coin purse could hold, I open it. Much to my surprise, I find 400 dollars in it. What do I do? If you guessed pocket the money and purchase the purse, you're dead wrong. I insist on calling attention to my monetary find and refuse to take the money home, as "the money should really be donated to the thrift store." I actually said that to the cashier behind the desk. No joke.

Third dream:

Now, keep in mind, I never have dreams like this. I'm stranded on a tropical island. I'm wearing what looks like a shredded toga. I stumble upon what looks like an abandoned camp site. I practically trip over a sleeping Johnny Depp. And no, not any Johnny Depp. But Johnny Depp dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. We speak no words, but commence immediately in a lovemaking marathon that would put any porn video to shame. Am I serious with myself? This man was dressed as a pirate. Hat and braids and pirate costume and all. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

I find it mildly hilarious that in none of these dreams am I pregnant. None of these dreams include a baby. These are just some crazy-ass dreams.

In other news, I have a slew of backdated posts that I need finish. Weekly "bumpdates," (or updates from the bump, rather) as well as a few other "funny things my husband says," posts. Hubs and I are currently knee-deep in house business and between that and work and baby-ness, I'm finding less and less time to blog. Not to mention that my job tried to block blogger. What a travesty! But that lack of blogging will all change soon! I promise! We'll be closing on our new house at the end of this month and could use all the good juju and prayers you could muster for us! They're greatly appreciated! Happy Monday!